Crossing the Boundaries of Pretend
by xxlovely
Summary: Harvey Specter was attractive and he knew it, he could get any girl he wanted, girls just fell at his feet. I had become a pro at picking up the broken hearts of endless girls after Harvey had finished with them but now he wanted me to pretend. Pretend to Pretend. "Pretend to be my girlfriend, just for one week,whilst my mom is here. Pretend to love me." if only it was that easy.
1. Chapter 1

Many people would kill for my view, and I'm not talking about the panoramic view of the New York City skyline. I tapped my fingers against my desk as I absentmindedly let my gaze travel to its usual resting place. Through the glass walls in front of me was a plush and professional office, a large space occupied by an even larger personality. I couldn't help but silently admire the sight of him, sitting at his desk, eyes fixated on the screen in front of him. Everything about him screamed confidence; a confidence that many would say is mistaken for pure arrogance. From his perfectly tailored suit that no doubt cost more than a years rent for me, his slicked back hair to the creases that form on his forehead when he is deep in thought, to me it was all perfection. I bit my lip as his gaze rose, his eyes meeting mine briefly as a small smile spread across his face, causing my heart rate increasing tenfold in a matter of milliseconds. It was my job to keep him in line, to keep him happy, and over the years that we have worked together we had inevitably become friends. Best friends. He was my go to guy, my emotionally unavailable go to guy, but my go to guy nonetheless. He was always there when I needed him. Harvey Specter has got me out of various sticky situations over the years and in return I organise his life, bring him his daily coffee and act as his personal cleaner when I pick up the broken hearts he leaves lying on the floor from yet another nameless face. He was attractive, and he knew it, he could and would get any girl he wanted in this City with no more than a wink, girls would simply fall at his feet, myself included. Any hot-blooded female can empathise with me, when you have an overwhelming crush towards someone, where your blood boils, your breath quickens and your libido goes through the roof at the sound of his name. Where your fantasises go into overdrive and you spend every waking moment around them mentally (and physically) restraining yourself from jumping them there and then. 'You just need to get it out of your system' your friends say; 'have your wicked way with him and then you'll be able to move on', God, how wrong they were.

I remember the night well, as if every second, every detail is etched into my memory for eternity. I close my eyes letting the memories consume me, my mind instantly filling with visuals that had me reaching for a cold class of water, my body burning up. One night with Harvey Specter was enough to put any past sexual escapades to shame, and any encounters since leaving you frustratingly unsatisfied. It was almost cruel how one individual was so much more evolved in comparison to the rest of the male race. I envy the girls who get disregarded by Specter, who can mourn the loss of the 'best they ever had' and mend their shattered hearts knowing they are unlikely to ever see him again, whereas I spend up to 12 hours a day, 5-6 days a week staring at him through a pain of glass, wondering what I did to be lucky enough to have a job like this whilst simultaneously wondering why bitch karma feels the need to hurt me so. You see, after our night together, I was convinced that there were three possible outcomes;

1. I wake up the next morning, hair sticking to my face, laboured breathing, cursing myself for having another explicitly realistic dream.

2. It was in fact real and I would run to the bathroom, do a 10 second celebratory gig before slipping on a wet tile, hitting my head and dying instantly (but very satisfied).

3. I wake up, notice the empty can of whipped cream lying on the rug, turn over to see a note resting on the pillow beside me with three words scratched across the paper 'You're fired, sorry.'

Yet Harvey decided to go with the unspoken option 4, the option I would have never thought of or assumed would work- act like nothing happened and business as usual. And that's how it's been for the last seven years; neither of us have mentioned that night to anyone else, or each other for that matter, it was as if it had never happened. For Harvey, it had simply been another meaningless fling, a chance to distress, get his fix and go home without a worry in the world, but for me it was the beginning of a soul destroying torment where my emotions and my body refused to hide my true feelings from myself any longer. I had unknowingly fallen for my boss, so hard and so deep, that I wasn't sure there would ever be a way out.

I was knocked out of my thoughts as Harvey's voice blared through the intercom, his eyes fixated on me as he spoke "Donna, can you come in here a moment". I inhaled and exhaled deeply as I pushed my chair away from the desk, straightening the cobalt blue Valentino dress I was wearing, before walking into his office. "I have incredible taste" He quipped, his eyes falling on my dress.

I roll my eyes, flipping my long auburn hair over my shoulder as I rested a hand on my hip "Says the man that pays through the nose for someone to dress himself, yet can happily pick out a dress for his secretary. Anyone would think you are living vicariously through me, Specter."

He leant back in his reclinable leather office chair, a small smug smile pulling at his lips as he raised an eyebrow "Anyone would think you are calling me a closeted cross dresser Donna"

"Your words, not mine. Anyway, what do you want? And if you say lunch, use your own goddamn legs or get your bitch boy Mike to fetch you a bagel, these heels are for aesthetic purposes only, not to be walked in"

Harvey let out a small laugh, his face quickly returning to his usual serious express "Sit down." He indicated towards the leather sofa as I looked at him quizzically, he was either after something, or shit has hit the fan. "I…need to ask… you…a" he looked pained as he tried to deliver his sentence "favour. I need to ask you a favour."

"_You _Harvey Specter, asking lil old me for a favour? Gosh dammit has hell frozen over?" I asked wide-eyed, feigning a southern accent, all too amused with how hard this was for Harvey. He has always been a lone ranger, never asking or needing help from anybody.

"Seriously Donna" he sounded annoyed at my mocking "You know if there was any way humanly possible that I could do this without you I would." Now he had me intrigued. "Donna…" he stood up, walking towards the window, staring out at the New York skyline "My mom's coming to town. It's, It's the first time I will have seen her since my dad died."

My perfectly maintained eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as I looked at the back of him "But that was four years ago…" I trailed off, not understanding how somebody could have not seen a parent in so long. Hell, my parents lived in Connecticut but I still managed a weekly phone call and a visit once a month.

"I know." He spun around to look at me once more "Look, I suck okay? I hear enough of that from my brother. I just for once, need to look like I have my shit together"

I was still confused "You're one of the most successful lawyers in the country, you have more money in the bank than a small African country and you own several properties over the country. I would say you have your shit together, Harvey."

"My mom doesn't care about that shit. She ranks my brothers career as a high school science teacher at the same level as me. If anything, I'm the failing sibling in her eyes, I have no wife, no children, my life is work."

"But that's how you like it…"

"But to my mother, that means I am unhappy with life, and it means my brother is winning. He cant win, _I'm _the winner. It's was genetically made that way"

"Okay…" I'm not going to lie, I have little to no clue what the fuck Harvey is going on about, or how I could possibly help. I mean I know I am amazing at everything I do in life, but not even I could cast a magic spell and give Harvey Specter an alternate life, especially one where he is a family man.

"I'll cut to the chase because you look constipated when you're confused. I need to prove to my mom that I'm winning in life mainly so she'll get off my back, and so she can realise that the shit I do 80 hours a week is not the same as teaching some prepubescent kids about cells or whatever. Donna, I need you to pretend you're my girlfriend when my mom comes to visit."

My jaw fell open as my eyes subconsciously scanned the four corners of the room "Am I being punk'd? Please tell me this is 2009 and Ashton Kutcher is about to jump out from behind your desk, because you have _got to be _kidding me."

"Donna, do you really think I'd be asking you this for shits and giggles? No. I'm serious. One week, just one week. I'll triple your salary; I'll buy you a car. That dress you're wearing- you can have it in every colour. Don't make me beg, I'm Harvey Specter for Christ's sake." A mischievous tight-lipped smile spread across my lips and as if Harvey could read my mind "I'm not begging Donna."

"Harvey, you have money in the bank, surely theres some failing actress in the city who would happily play your make believe girlfriend in return for a hot dinner and potentially a photo in the newspaper. Why me?" Why me?

"Because it would be believable."

What? "What?" I echoed my thoughts.

"People think we're together or have been together anyway, they must see something we don't. Plus you get me, and I get you."

Oh bitch karma, what did I ever do to you? Did I kill someone in a previous life? Did I judge someone's life choices one too many times? "One week?" I asked defeated, after all, how could I say no to him?

"One week."

I exhaled, standing up to leave "Okay, one week."

He shot me one of his famous smiles as he sincerely replied "Thank you Donna."

I nodded wordlessly as I left the room in a state of disarray "Oh, Donna?" I turned around to face him "There's one more reason why I chose you to fake it with me."

"W-what's that?" I stuttered out

"Because you're into me."

Oh god, what have I agreed to?

**Hello! Well it's the first time i've been on FF in 4 years. So take it easy on me and let me know what you think. If i dont hear anything or you guys hate it i'll stop. but if you like it expect frequent and longer updates!**


	2. Chapter 2

I closed my eyes tightly as I inhaled deeply on the cigarette, letting the poisonous fumes fill my lungs as my shoulders untensed, the cool night air throwing my fine auburn hair in every direction as the sounds of the hustle and bustle of city life below soothed me. Opening my eyes, I let them scan across the City, the pure beauty of New York rendering me speechless even after all these years; there really was no greater place in the world. Looking at the cigarette that was burning slowly between my freshly manicured fingers I cursed myself for returning to such a bad habit, but my mind was simply at a loss. No one knew I was up here, on the roof of Pearson Specter, it was 11pm and although I had no doubt that a good percentage of the staff, including Harvey might still be downstairs working away, I knew that no one would miss me, or even come looking for me here. I took one final drag before stubbing the cigarette out, letting my arms wrap themselves around me, sheltering myself from the cool night air. It had been four days since Harvey had proposed that we enter a fake relationship so he can appear to look like the 'perfect' son in front of his mother, and I had barely spoken to him since. In fact you may say I was avoiding him, a difficult task when you are supposed to be his shadow, but somehow I had successfully managed it. How you ask? Well, after ten years of working with Harvey I knew his routine better than he did, he would not step foot into the office before 7am, meaning that If I got to work at 6am I had just enough time to organise his day, leave his memos on his desk and find some menial work to do elsewhere that would occupy me until Harvey had a meeting or lunch, where I would repeat the plan until it was home time.

How could he honestly think that the two of us pretending we were in a relationship was a good idea? In what warped universe did that remotely make sense? I'm sure his mother isn't a stupid lady; she'll surely read through us within 10 seconds, and even if she didn't, someone was bound to drop us in it. My phone violently vibrated in my pocket "seriously who calls someone at this time of night?" I asked myself out loud, wondering whether or not I should just ignore it. I pulled my IPhone out of my pocket, the screen illuminated with Harvey's name and picture, the persistent ringing causing my stomach to flip uneasily. "No. No you will not answer the phone Donna. No"

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, you know."

I clutched my chest with my free hand, the sudden sound of a voice behind me startling me. I bit my lip, trying my best to appear nonchalant, like I didn't care that his presence a few feet behind me wasn't in fact making me feel like I was about to vomit.

"The silent treatment? Wow. Are we in the eight grade?" his sarcastic tone didn't wash over me as it normally would; instead I clenched my fists, inhaling sharply as I slowly turned on my heels to face him.

"How did you know I'd be here, Harvey?" This was my space, my escape and I was annoyed that someone had violated it.

"You don't even want to know half the things I know and have learnt about you over the years, some of them make me shiver just thinking about them" I scrunched my face, unimpressed as the annoyance that was present a few seconds prior had began to fade.

"Everything about me is amazing, Specter, the only reason behind your shivering is out of pure unadulterated desire." I shot him one of my dazzling smiles as he rolled his eyes.

"Keep telling yourself that Donna."

"What do you want Harvey? I've had a long day, my feet hurt and I broke a nail."

"How emotionally traumatising for you, do you need a day?" I slapped him on the arm playfully, his sarcastic humour that to many would be misconstrued as rudeness, yet again amused me, something I would never admit to him. Inflating Harvey's ego any further would be catastrophic for the world, and I for one was not prepared to have the fate of the world in my hands.

"I'm not Louis, although front row seats to the Ballet wouldn't go a miss" I smiled sweetly, cocking my head to the side.

"I'm hungry, do you want to go for dinner?"

"Only if you're paying…"

Harvey snorted out a laugh "Even if you were paying we both know you would charge it to one of my cards. Why I let any woman, let alone you have a hold of my finances I will never know."

I snatched the coat that was hanging across his arm casually out of his grip, slinging it around my shoulders for warmth as I turned towards the roof exit "It's because you're into me."

-x-

Raising the wine glass to my lips, I let my eyes dance around the restaurant wondering how I had never been to this place before. Harvey had taken us to this small, secluded Italian restaurant in Soho, and even at just after midnight, the atmosphere was still buzzing. I caught Harvey staring at his glass of wine, deep in thought, those famous lines across his forehead prominent as I tried to telepathically figure out what was going through that mind of his. Trying to push the awkwardness aside I took a chunk of bread out of the basket, breaking it into smaller sections, focusing my full attention on the pile of carbohydrates in front of me. I could help but wonder what it would be like coming to this restaurant with Harvey under different circumstances. The burgundy and gold décor, the low ceilings and romantic music playing in the background allowed my mind to run wild, picturing the two of us on a date, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, with no care in the world about who saw us or what they thought. Where Harvey would reach across the table to hold my hand for no other reason than because he wanted to. With the absence of sarcastic comments that secretly destroyed a little piece of your self-esteem with each word, instead replaced with sincere compliments and interest in what you have to say. That for one night I was the most important woman in his life, and not lady law.

"Earth to Donna, are you in there?" I snapped out of my state of delirium and muttered an apology, my cheeks burning up, feeling embarrassed that I had allowed myself to create fairy tales in my head.

"Huh?" I stumbled, trying to reconnect with reality.

"For a moment you looked like you were having a stroke, I was about to call 911 on you."

"Sorry" I muttered, breaking eye contact with him as I took a large swig of my wine. Okay… I downed the glass; I just wanted to sound a little bit classy. Sue me. (Oh god what a horrific pun- anybody just want to put me out of my misery and shoot me?)

"So I have to admit something. I kind of had ulterior motives when I invited you to dinner." Knew it. There was no way Harvey Specter would ever invite you to dinner unless he wanted something in return, felt guilty or wanted to sleep with you, and I can guarantee you its not the latter. "My mother flies into JFK tomorrow afternoon, and she wants to meet you after we finish work"

I reached for the bottle of wine, filling my glass up to the top, mentally praising myself for not just downing the bottle there and then as I swallowed a few mouthfuls, trying to comprehend what he had just said. Although I was fully aware that I had agreed to this fucked up arrangement, I was more than happy pretending that it was all some surreal messed up dream and that this was not in fact real life.

"I also told her that you lived with me." Harvey blurted out rather quickly as he moved his gaze to the chair adjacent to me.

"WHAT?" I whisper shouted, " Are you fucking kidding me Harvey? Why did you go and say that?"

"Because I have to win at life." He replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world. "So after this we'll swing by yours, grab some stuff and you can make yourself at home"

"No" I shook my head, no. This was not happening; there was no way in hell that these words are coming from Harvey Specters mouth. I must hallucinating, clearly I'm drunk and I'm not thinking straight, that is the only logical explanation.

"What do you mean no?"

"I mean…no. We never agreed to this, I'm not doing it."

"Donna, don't be so irrational about it, I don't see what the big deal is"

My mouth fell open in shock "Me? Being irrational? That's rich. I like living in my apartment, which is mine, which doesn't have you in it. Put a wig on Mike, no one will know the difference and he'll happily be your bitch"

"Do this for me and I'll give you half days every Monday and Friday for the next month." he negotiated, doing what he did best.

"Two months" I bargained back, thinking of the long weekends I could have, the nights out of with girls full of margaritas and guilt free hangover days after with no worry of rushing into work as I consume half my body weight in greasy food to recover.

"Deal."

"You better have a fancy guest room, like has its own bathroom, hot tub, personal slave, you name it, it better have it"

"Err about that… my mom is staying in the guest room, so you'll be bunking with me."

"Oh hell no" There was no way I could share a bed with Harvey. No way. If my dreams were anything to go by there is a 99% chance that I would be arrested for persistent sexual advances whilst asleep. Either that or he'd wake up to me smelling his hair. Either way, it's in neither of our best interests to let this happen.

"Come on! I don't bite… unless you want me to" he winked, causing an eruption of butterflies in the pit of my stomach as I attempted to telepathically order more wine with the waiter. I needed wine. Wine was my only friend right now.

I sighed, blowing a few strands of hair out of my face as I pushed an unused napkin towards Harvey before throwing him a pen "If I'm going to play this silly game, I'm setting some ground rules, no questions asked."

"Okay..." he sounded uneasy, and so he should.

"Number one: There will be no public displays of affection; no kissing, no cuddling. You may hold my hand if completely necessary but otherwise no bodily contact. Especially in the bedroom.

Number two: You do not bring this façade into the workplace that means no 'take your mommy to work' day. If Mike or Jessica find out about this I may as well throw myself out of the 32nd floor window.

Number Three: If you want to go play with one of your play things, you do it at a hotel, I don't want to know and I don't want to hear or see you doing the nasty with some girl with daddy issues.

Lastly number four: you treat me with respect, I am not inferior, and I am certainly not a possession of yours. You do not spring events or background stories about us on me in front of your mother and you certainly do not make any future commitments regarding us with your mother. Have I made myself clear?"

Harvey was scribbling down notes, somewhat intimidated by my stern tone and conditions. "Right, got it. What about our background story? You know how we got together…"

"Why don't you try that…" I suggested, not really in the mood to fabricate something I wish was a reality, it would just be so cruel.

"We've been dating two years?"

"Nope" I shook my head "Too long, by now you would be thinking about proposing because… hell, I'm me, and that's a horrific amount of time to not tell your mom about your significant other. A year is just long enough I reckon.

"Okay, one year. We met at a mutual friends function and hit it off. Been inseparable ever since."

"I can deal with that" At least it wasn't sleazy and at least it sounds believable, knowing Harvey if I had left it up to him I would have met him at a 'Harvey Specter appreciation convention'.

"So I guess there's only one thing left to ask you Donna."

"What's that?"

"Are you ready for this, girlfriend?"

I rolled my eyes "Go fuck yourself, _boyfriend_" my words dripping with sarcasm.

"Nah, I'd rather have you do it instead."

**Wow, I am overwhelmed with the response to this so far. 12 reviews is amazing, thank you so much. Reviews really mean the world to me, and they make me update quicker- look another one in 24 hours. Please let me know what you think.**

**I was originally planning on having this all Donna POV, but tempted to throw some Harvey POV into the mix later on… what do you think/ what would you like!**

**Thanks again you amazing people. Have a lovely weekend. **


	3. Chapter 3

Is 7am too early to have a margarita? I mean, there must be somewhere in the City that will serve me a margarita at 7am. I haven't slept. I tried, I failed, and here I am running late to work because I have lost the ability to dress myself. On any other day I would be able to choose a killer outfit and get ready in less than 15 minutes, but today I just wanted to roll into work in pyjamas and hide under the desk consuming my body weight in chocolate. What the hell do you wear when you meet your boyfriend's mom for the very first time? Okay, okay, I know she's not my _real_ boyfriends mom, but hell, this lady created Harvey Spector, she must have the genetic makeup of a goddess. This was a nightmare, an A grade nightmare. I needed something conservative enough that his mom didn't think I was some sort of slut, but sexy enough to continue to get what I want around the office today. I was ten seconds away from calling in sick and spending my day shopping for the perfect mother appropriate outfit when my eyes landed on the navy Kate Spade dress I brought the other week, just enough cleavage to stop me from feeling like a nun whilst covering just enough leg to stop me from looking like a hooker. Perfect. Taking more time than usual to get ready, I straightened my naturally wavy hair, and applied a little more makeup than usual, paying attention to my eyeliner and mascara to accentuate one of my best features- my eyes. Looking at the clock it was now little after 8, meaning I was officially late for work, and Harvey was trying to function without my direction. Ultimately with every minute that I am late, the likelihood that I will walk into World War Three when I get into the office becomes more and more likely. Throwing my jacket over my shoulder I snatched my Mui Mui handbag and rushed downstairs, praying that amongst the crazy New York rush hour traffic there would be at least one unoccupied taxi.

"You're late." He was leaning against Ray's car, arms folded pretending to look unimpressed, but we both know he didn't care that much.

"You're here?" I replied confused. Harvey never picked me up, ever. Well unless his mother was coming to town and he wanted me to pretend that I was his girlfriend, then he usually comes to take me to work.

"You've always been so observant, I knew there was a reason I kept you around."

"Along with my charming personality, impeccable working standards and looks that could render even the blind speechless."

"Not to mention how modest you are." Harvey opened the door for me as I slipped into the back of Ray's car, Harvey scooting in next to me before pulling the door closed. "So… you ready?"

"Yeah so pumped" I feigned enthusiasm " I watched at least 2 hours of acting 101 lessons on YouTube last night so I think I've got this down"

"You're ridiculous" he rolled his eyes, checking his phone for messages. "So I'm going to be out of the office all day, Mike screwed up something with the Hodgins case so I'm going to go wipe his ass for him and show him how its done."

"You shouldn't be so hard on him, he's still learning" I tried to reason with him but I knew it was pointless words as far as Harvey was concerned

"If he had gone to Harvard than this wouldn't be the issue."

"You're the one that hired a kid with a suitcase full of pot, you're the one with issues here."

"Shut up" he muttered, knowing I was right. I looked out the window as we pulled up outside Pearson Specter "I'll come get you at 8, see you later" I gave him a simple nod as I exited the car, watching it speed off into the streets of Downtown Manhattan.

"Morning Donna!" I turned around to see Rachel beaming at me, her dazzlingly white teeth making me subconsciously run my tongue over my own, mentally taking note to book a dentist appointment.

I exhaled deeply, relief washing over me "OH thank god. I am _so _glad to see you." I breathed, finally having my confidant back.

Rachel laughed, flipping her hair behind her shoulder "I've only been gone a week! Anyone would think you haven't seen me in a year."

"Trust me, it feels like a year. Are you back at work today?" Well that was a stupid question Donna, why else would Rachel be dressed professionally and be standing outside Pearson Specter, what a coincidence.

"Technically it's tomorrow, I was going to start early, you know, catch up on things." My eyes widened with excitement as an amazing idea popped into my head.

"You can start tomorrow, today, I need you." I grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the curb

Rachel looked at with confused and worried "Okay…"

I stopped, looking at her seriously "Oh, and I hope you don't have an issue with daytime drinking"

* * *

"Hang on, so let me get this straight." Rachel spoke slowly and deliberately as we sat on the roof terrace of this cute bar/cafe we found in Greenwich Village "Harvey Specter, _the _Harvey Specter asked _you_ to be his _fake_ girlfriend to impress his mother?"

I nodded, taking a sip of my drink before shoving a piece of chocolate cheesecake in my mouth. At this rate I would be bursting out of my dress by dinner time, but right now, I couldn't give a crap. "Yep" I replied, popping the 'p' "and to make matters worse, he wants me to live with him whilst she's in town so we look really convincing, his words not mine."

Rachel blinked several times, finding it hard to comprehend what I was telling her, and I don't blame her, it was ludicrous, absolutely insane. "Fucking hell Donna, that is messed up." She didn't even know the half of it. Yes, I was confining in Rachel about this but she didn't know, she wouldn't know, just how bad this is for me, I couldn't tell her how I really feel. I couldn't tell anyone, it would ruin the dynamic of the office, and I couldn't let that happen.

"I don't know what to do Rachel, I'm acting like such a bitch to him, but how else am I supposed to react? It would be weird if I seemed happy about this situation, sarcasm and bitchiness are my defence mechanisms, I cant seem to turn them off."

"Harvey knows you Donna, he knows you're as if not more sarcastic than he is, he's not going to take it personally or have his feelings hurt by any of it. You'd probably creep him out if you were acting any different."

She was right, she always was. Or perhaps It was the two alcoholic beverages I had already consumed making my mind just a little bit hazier, either way I was okay with this. "What if his mom hates me though? What if I say the wrong things? What if I don't meet her expectations, I'm not some high flying lawyer, I don't have seven figures in the bank, I don't have a five year plan!"

She reached over the table to grab my hand, stopping me as I shovelled the cake in my mouth, panicking once more at all the possible outcomes. "Stop over-thinking it. She will love you, you're Donna, I don't know anyone who doesn't like you. And even if for some unknown reason she doesn't like you, screw her, its one week, and then you and Harvey can fake break up and then it's back to business."

"You're right. Please, please don't tell anyone though, not even Mike. He'll tell Harvey and then I wont hear the end of it. Please"

"I promise, now stop drinking, we don't want your first impression with your mother in law to be you stumbling around the place drunk."

I pouted, sticking out my bottom lip "Fine. Just one more, for the road."

* * *

I paced the lobby of Pearson Specter, feeling horrifically sick. I wish I could blame it on the liquid and cake lunch I had, but this was nerves, 100%. 5:57pm, did I have enough time for a cigarette? No, no I don't, smoking is bad and will not stop the inevitable from happening.

"Fuck my life, fuck my life, fuck my life" I muttered repeatedly as Ray's car pulled up. "What the…" I watched as Harvey got out of the car, the grey suit he was wearing this morning now replaced with a dark pair of jeans and a white shirt. I have never seen Harvey remotely casual, never. I wasn't even sure it was humanly possible for him. Yet funnily that wasn't the most shocking thing about this picture, I approached Harvey with a smile as he extended his arm giving me a bouquet of the most beautiful brightly coloured flowers. "Wow" I breathed, unable to say anything else, I was literally rendered speechless. "Thank you Harvey" This was literally the sweetest thing Harvey has done in the last ten years of knowing him.

"Got to appear like the perfect boyfriend" he said proudly as my smile faltered a little, of course that was the real reason behind the flowers, I was so stupid to think otherwise.

"Of course" I got into the car, the entire journey I spent silent, not caring about where we were going or why Harvey had decided to dress down. I stared at the flowers, there was no denying their beauty, they were gorgeous, perfectly arranged and would make any girl in the world feel loved. I couldn't help but wonder how that moment would feel, holding this wonderful bouquet, knowing that they were purchased as symbol of love rather than an obligation or part of a façade. I ignored Harvey's attempts at small talk during the ride, not meaning to be rude, just not knowing what to say, I was nervous and confused and scared, and perhaps still a little drunk.

"Why are we at your place?" I questioned as Ray pulled up outside Harvey's apartment building. Was I really wearing an $800 dress for a chat and a coffee?

"I cooked dinner for us." Harvey said nonchalantly as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

If I was drinking, I swear I would have done a spit take, Harvey cooking? Did he even know how to make toast? The elevator ride to his penthouse apartment was the slowest 45 seconds of my life, my palms sweating profusely as I was convinced the flowers were going to slip out of my hand at any moment. The elevator pinged as we reached Harvey's floor, the smell of something incredible filling my nose as I looked to Harvey in surprise, maybe the guy could cook.

"Here goes nothing" he muttered as he opened the front door, the apartment lowly lit, a perfectly set up dinner table in the middle of the kitchen/lounge area making my mouth fall open a little. This was beautiful. Surely he hadn't done this all himself, I would have known if he had secret hosting talents. I would have surely known. "Mom!" he exclaimed excitedly as my gaze finally fell on the silver haired woman sitting in the corner, holding a glass of wine with a wide smile on her face. She looked just like Harvey, hell; she could have easily been mistaken as Harvey's older sister rather than his mother.

I couldn't help but smile as Harvey hugged his mom tightly, the smile on his face, a smile I haven't seen before, it was so genuine, it was of happiness. Mrs Specter pulled away from Harvey and set her sights on me, her smile never faltering

"Harvey, you weren't joking, she is gorgeous" Harvey had called me gorgeous? Right, part of the act, must remember that. I smiled at the compliment as she strode towards me open armed, Harvey smiling amused in the background as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Nice to meet you Mrs Specter" I greeted politely as I pulled away from her embrace.

"Call me Ruth, dear, Mrs Specter makes me sound so old… and so formal!" I let out a light laugh as I nodded

"Nice to meet you Ruth"

"And you Donna, its so nice to put a face to the name, Harvey never stops going on about you!" Never stops going on about me?…didn't he only tell his mom about me a few days ago… I'm confused.

"Who would like some dinner?!" Harvey interrupted, clapping his hands together, avoiding eye contact with me. Hmm.

I took a seat at the dinner table as Harvey served the most amazing looking lasagne I have ever seen, accompanied with salad and fresh made garlic bread. "Is this what you were doing when you said you had to spend the day with Mike?" I asked, confused as to how else he would have time to have prepared this, unless someone else did of course.

He sheepishly smiled "guilty, I wanted it to be a surprise" and a surprise It was. Were there any ends to this man's talents? This did not help my unruly infatuation one bit, now I'm just going to have explicit dreams of him that include food, I was going to have a heart attack in my sleep, it was guaranteed.

"This looks wonderful son" Ruth said as she sat down opposite Harvey and I, her son looking proud at what he had accomplished as the three of us filled our plates. Dinner was quiet, the three of us enjoying the amazing meal Harvey had prepared, with the odd small talk mainly directed at me. Harvey cleared the dinner plates away as Ruth and I made our way to the sofa's, glass of wine in hand. If you hadn't realised by now, wine is a big part of my life, get used to it. I watched Harvey over at the other end of the apartment stacking the dishes as his mom grabbed my arm lightly to get my attention.

"I'm really happy Harvey has found someone who makes him happy, he's always been so emotionally available. Its amazing to see him investing time and emotion towards someone other than himself" I smiled, I wanted to laugh, even his own mother knew how much Harvey loved himself.

Harvey brought over three espressos as he sat himself down next to me, his arm draping around my shoulder as he pulled me towards him, the warm of his body allowing mine to relax as I inhaled his signature cologne. He smelt so good- like a mixture of cologne and lasagne; to me it was the ultimate turn on. Hot man and hot food= hot Donna.

I let out a yawn, the unnecessary panicking and worrying I had done all day taking its toll on me "I think I'm going to head to bed, goodnight Mrs Specter…I mean Ruth." I announced as I excused myself from the sofa, removing Harvey's arm from around my shoulders, instantly missing the feeling of his protective touch.

"Okay sweetheart, I'll clean up and I'll be right in there with you" he kissed me on the cheek as I hurriedly ran into the bedroom, trying to hide the blush that had formed on my cheeks. As soon as the door clicked shut I grabbed my hair, yanking it harshly as I let out a frustrated groan. What the fuckkkk. Sweetheart? Really? Ughhh.

I stripped out of my dress, as I searched through the suitcase of my stuff for my pyjamas. Where the hell were my pyjamas "Damn!" I whisper shouted, I must have forgotten to pack them. Shit. I was not about to sleep in the same bed as Harvey in nothing but my bra and pants. I scanned his bedroom, noticing his walk in wardrobe in the corner of the room. Hurriedly I ran into the room, searching for any form of attire that wasn't a suit. "Yes!" I exclaimed as I came across a draw full of plain t-shirts, grabbing one quickly as I threw one over my body. I snuck out of his wardrobe to the sound of the shower going, his bedside light on, his Rolex resting on the table.

I slipped into Harvey's bed, melting into the most comfortable mattress In existence. Wow. Now I understand why girls want to stay the night here, this mattress, may in fact be better than sex with Harvey, however, its been so long, my comparison may be a little hazy. Snuggling further into the duvet I focused my gaze on the wall, my back to the door as I heard the shower shut off. I closed my eyes, praying that sleep would overcome me quickly, still not mentally prepared for Harvey to climb into bed with me, especially sober. In fact, I don't think I've slept in the same bed as a person from the opposite gender that didn't involve some extra curricular activity since I was…10? I'm panicking, I need to fall unconscious right now, I need to mentally and physically block out the next 8 hours of my life, oh great, and now I've broken into a sweat. Fantastic, Harvey Specter is about to crawl into bed with someone who resembles an athlete after competing the 10,000m (without the athletic ability). The door clicked open from the bathroom as I tried to slow my breathing to appear asleep, the sound of his footsteps on the creaking floorboards getting louder. I fidgeted as the mattress dipped, Harvey grabbing a portion of the covers from my body as he made himself comfortable. I pursed my lips together as I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck, his body shifting closer to me as a mere matter of centimetres separated us.

"Goodnight Donna."

* * *

My eyes flickered open as the light reflected off of the various mirrors and panes of glass, damn Harvey for his stupid modernistic taste in apartments and decors, what was wrong with walls, like actual walls? I tried to move, my limbs aching to be stretched; yet I couldn't. I lay still for a few seconds, letting my brain wake up as I tried to comprehend my surroundings and the reason as to why I wasn't currently star fishing across the bed. Blinking several times to adjust to the light I let my gaze look down towards my body, as my eyes widened in shock. Oh man, this…was not good. I pursed my lips in a firm line, attempting to keep completely silent as I peered over my shoulder, Ohhhhhh shit. I continued mentally cursing out life as I just stared helplessly at the arm that was draped across my body belonging to a topless lawyer sleeping peacefully, but very close next to me. Even though I had always wondered is Harvey was a cuddler, I kind of wish this wasn't how I woke up on my first morning of playing the pretend girlfriend, I mean, where's the mystery now?! I could lie here, in his embrace and imagine that this was real, letting myself have the 'morning after' that we never got all those years ago, _or _I could run for my life and hide in my apartment for the day. Or go to Louis' house, because he would _never_ think of looking for me there. Yet because life hates me, I wasn't given the option to decide as I felt Harvey stir next to me, his grip around my waist subconsciously tightening. I turned my attention back the wall, hoping that maybe he would fall back asleep, or see what he was currently doing and run into the bathroom and stay there…forever. But once again Harvey always went for the unpredictable option. I gulped hard, trying to control my body as I felt Harvey's fingers dance over the exposed skin his hand had been occupying all night, obviously thinking I was still fast asleep. Trying to prevent my breathing from becoming shallow whilst my heart rate increased to a million beats per minute seemed like an impossible task as my skin broke out in goose bumps under this touch. Damn Harvey and damn my goddamn feelings.

"I know you're awake" His raspy voice whispered in my ear, as an involuntary shiver shot down my spine, his fingers still tracing my skin.

I stayed silent; hoping that he would think he was wrong- didn't work. I let out a small yelp as he rolled me over, the two of us now coming face to face. I gave him a sheepish smile as I brushed the hair covering my eyes out of the way "Morning boss"

He smiled, his eyes still half closed "Maybe its because I am still unable to see properly but you don't look half bad in the morning." I raised my eyebrow in question, not knowing if I should feel insulted or take it as a compliment, hell, I'd be surprised if my brain allowed me to process anything other than the fact Harvey is still touching me.

"And who would have thought you'd be a cuddler" I said, looking down to his hand as he followed my gaze. He shrugged not looking as alarmed as I thought seeming as I had called him out on his uncharacteristic action.

"Just keeping in character" Of course. I smiled as I wiggled out of his grip, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed as I stood up and walked to the suitcase of clothing I had brought over with me. I felt his eyes burning into the back of me as I bent over to retrieve a pair of jeans and a tank top.

"Stop staring at my ass, Specter" I turned around to see him propped up on an elbow, a smug look, the covers barely covering the lower half of him.

"Says the girl who is currently appreciating my rock hard abs. All you've got to do is come back here" he says patting the mattress "and we can have some mutual appreciation time"

"As much as we'd both _love_ that, I'm going to get changed and make us and your mom some breakfast" Harvey, jumped out of bed to block the bathroom doorway as he looked at me somewhat suggestively, my eyes attempting to look anywhere other than the pair of low rising boxers he was wearing. Was this man seriously trying to kill me? I mean, I love a man in a well fitted suit, Harvey was no exception, but _damn_ I would not complain if he came to work one day dressed as he currently was.

"You can change in here you know." He winked, eyeing me up and down, the oversized t-shirt I was wearing showing a bit too much leg.

"Harvey! Donna! Would you like some coffee?" I mentally thanked the powers upstairs as the voice of Mrs Specter.

"Saved by the mom!" I exclaimed quickly as I pushed past him and locked the bathroom door. How the hell was I supposed to survive another six days of this, I was going to go insane. Clinically insane.  
-

**Wow 25 reviews in 2 chapters and nearly 1000 views, insane. THANKYOU. so you all want harvey POV and you'll get it soon! It wont be every chapter, but it'll be there.**

**So i have a big ask- if each of you that reads has the time to drop me a review, even if its a couple of words, i will hit you thursday with an update that includes a Harvey POV and the beginning of some interesting developments. If you're super nice, i may update Wednesday and Thursday.**

**So... go go go! and enjoy! xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Harvey POV**

"This is bullshit Mike, how the hell could you have missed something like this?" I seethed, throwing the pile of papers down on the desk in front of him, if there was a scale of how pissed you can be with someone, I would be off the scale right now.

He ran his hands through his hair, pulling at them as he tried to maintain his cool, but I wanted a reaction. I wanted to provoke him, get him to snap, then maybe he would realise how much of a complete and utter idiot he has been.

"I'm sorry, I screwed up okay!? You're the one that disappeared on me for the day with no word, hell not even Donna was around!"

I was about to retaliate with another blow that would knock his self-esteem down a little bit more when I finally processed his words. "Donna wasn't around?" I dropped Donna off, I saw Donna walk towards the building, Donna is always around. That's why I kept her around.

"No, Rachel blew me off for lunch because she was downing margaritas at midday with Donna. I mean, what the fuck Harvey?"

I remained quiet for a moment, trying to figure out whether or not this bothered me, I mean, she was my employee, I expect her to be at the office during working hours, but it was unlike her to 'have a day' "I gave her the day off. It must have slipped my mind between clearing up your mistakes and screwing the stabilisers back on your bike"

Mike rolled his eyes; sleep deprivation written all over his face. Kid looked like shit. "At least I was here Harvey, which is more than can be said for you"

I always thoroughly enjoyed it when Mike decided to get sassy "When your name is above the door, then you can have an opinion, for now you can go over to Hodgins and grovel, because if we lose this case, its not just the firms ass on the line, its mine, and I'm not losing a dime because of your incompetency"

Mike stood up, straightening his suit as he narrowed his eyes at me, knowing that there was no further moves to be played, yet of course he had to get the last word in, he always did, even if he wasn't aware of it himself "Whatever." I raised an eyebrow as I watched him storm out the office resembling a child who has just had their favourite toy confiscated. I kept my eyes on the outside of my office, more specifically at the desk that was directly opposite me, separated by a thick pane of glass. I watched silently for a few seconds as she typed away at her computer, her long auburn hair cascading over her shoulders as she peered through her thick-framed glasses at the screen. She never wore glasses, instead always relying on contacts to allow her to successfully put one foot in front of the other, in fact the only time she does is when she is suffering from a stress headache.

I scrunched up my face in question, wondering if I was behind the reason that she was suffering, maybe I should ask her? No, no, what's the point? It wasn't a constructive or productive question, therefore not worth asking. She was fine, she's Donna, she's always fine.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer" I was knocked out of my trance at the sound of the intercom, Donna staring right at me with an amused look upon her face. I didn't need a picture; I had the real thing in front of me for 12 hours a day, and now I get to wake up next to her. I'd say that would make a picture pretty obsolete. I indicated for her to pick up the phone, not wanting our conversation to continue on loudspeaker.

"I need you to do me favour" God I hated that word, favour.

"You and your favours, what is it now your royal highness?" she asked sweetly, her voice dripping in sarcasm as she cocked her head to one side.

"Any chance you can take mom to dinner tonight, I have something I really cant get out of and I don't want to leave her alone"

She looked worried "Really? Are you sure you can't get out of it? If it's a tailoring appointment or your weekly ego maintaining session with your fan club, then it can wait. Please Harvey" I did feel bad about leaving Donna alone with my mom, but business is business, there's just some things you cant get out of.

"Its regarding a merger, I really cant."

She sighed, looking up at the ceiling momentarily before nodding, biting her lip. "Fine, what time will you get back?"

"I don't know, I may not make it back, I might just head back to the office and get the paperwork done."

"Okay. Just let me know where and when I have to meet your mom."

I smiled "Brilliant. Have the rest of the afternoon off." And just like that, the famous Donna smile I know and love appeared on her face as she put down the receiver, quickly gathering her stuff together before disappearing out of my view. Grabbing my phone off of the desk I quickly dialled the number I had practically memorised, waiting for the call to connect as I looked out of the window, admiring the concrete jungle out there, and how I currently stood so much higher than most of it.

"Hello" the voice at the other end of the line greeted.

"Merger is on, see you tonight."

* * *

**Donna POV**

_"__I knew you were trouble when you walked in, it's a shame on me n-noww" _I sung along to the radio, dancing like a crazed animal as I attempted to unpack my bags from a successful afternoon of shopping.

"_Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground, oh Oh oh, trouble, trouble, trouble" _Without a care in the world I threw the newly purchased items across Harvey's bed, mentally appreciating my impeccable taste in fashion, and my impeccable ability to find Harvey's spare black American Express card. Retail therapy really was the answer to all of lives problems, especially the impending task of taking your fake boyfriends mother out for dinner, on your own.

Don't get me wrong, Mrs Specter seemed like a lovely lady, a lot more human than Harvey appeared to be, but how do I answer all the inevitable questions she had? Would they match Harvey's previous answers, would they sound believable, how much did she already know?

I was startled as there was a knock at the door. Turning the volume down on the music system I ran my fingers through my unruly hair that I had been shaking and throwing about in time to the music before opening the door.

"Mrs Specter… I mean Ruth, sorry." I smiled as I opened the door to Harvey's bedroom further, her eyes naturally travelling to the pile of clothing scattered across his king size bed.

"Someone's been busy," she stated, raising an eyebrow in question before focusing her sights back on me. Brilliant, she probably thought I was a Gold digger, this does not look good. And now I cant get Kanye West's song out of my head. _I ain't saying she a golddigga but she ain't messing with no broke, broke. _

I could tell her that I had used her son's credit card without him knowing or I could lie, because it's not like we've lied about anything up until now. I flipped my hair over my shoulder as I gave her a tight lipped smile "I thought I deserved a treat, kind of went a bit overboard" It wasn't a lie, I did deserve a treat, if I had my way I would have spent triple the amount I had, and would probably be walking around covered in diamonds right now. Courtesy of Harvey Specter of course.

She laughed, "We've all done it… So I hear it's just you and me this evening, Harvey has work."

I rolled my eyes "Harvey always has work, half the time I wonder if he's cheating on me with work. Work is his mistress" I joked but the statement is true- the day Harvey allows himself to connect with another individual on an emotional level will be the day he has to learn to juggle the two loves in his life without spiting either of them.

"So, I was thinking…" she trailed off as I followed her into the kitchen area of Harvey's apartment, grabbing myself a bottle of still water out of the fridge. I know, water, who would have thought that, don't worry there is still time for lots of wine. "I know Harvey means well, and I know he's just trying to show me how successful he is, but I'm really not fussed about going to high end overpriced restaurants. I'd much rather order a take away, have a bottle of wine and just chat. I find most fancy restaurants really fake and uncomfortable."

I wanted to do another spit take. This woman was me, she was the Harvey Specter bearing version of me. "I love you." I blurted out shamelessly "That's the best idea I've heard all day. That would be great."

"Brilliant!" she clapped her hands together "If I know my son at all, there wouldn't be a takeaway menu within 100 feet of this place, so I'll have a look online whilst you get changed into something comfortable and find a nice bottle or two from my son's collection."

I want to marry this woman.

* * *

"No way!" I exclaimed in shock, a piece of chow mien hanging from my mouth as laughter erupted through me. My sides hurt, if you could laugh your way to a six-pack, than I was convinced that by the end of the evening I was going to have some crazy rock hard abs. I dropped my chopsticks into the box as I doubled over in laughter, oh my god, I had so much priceless information on Harvey, I was going to have more Mui Mui bags than Mui Mui at this rate.

"I kid you not" she choked through her laughter "When Harvey was 10 he went through this phase where he wouldn't respond unless you called him Harriet. I would find him in my closet wearing my heels, dresses and hats pretending to have a tea party with his action men!"

I could die right now, I could die and I would be happy, this was pure gold. I couldn't believe someone like Harvey could have been like this as a child. As far as I'm concerned Harvey was born in a little baby suit, sat at a desk, as he was being potty trained, and objected if he didn't like the terms of his parents parenting, this was just amazing. "Please, please" I begged "tell me that you have photographic evidence of this somewhere, I would seriously pay you _a lot_ of money for a glance, and I'd buy you a new house on Harvey's credit card if I got a copy."

"Well now you mention it. Hang on" I watched as she got up off the floor, setting her plate of Chinese food to the side as she grabbed her purse from her bag "Here" she passed me a old polaroid photo as I felt my insides melt. Harvey was so adorable as a kid… oh god and now I'm picturing what our children would look like. They would be gorgeous, smart, quick witted and would have come from an exceptional gene pool. Damn. But moving on from mine and Harvey's imaginary family, this photo was _amazing_.

"I don't know why Harvey ever ditched the floral dresses, they look far more flattering than his $10000 dollar suits." Wanting to take full advantage of this situation I slipped my Iphone out of my pocket and took a snap, saving it as Harvey's contact picture before returning the photo back to Ruth. This was blackmailing gold.

"He was such a cute child" she mused, staring at the photo lovingly for a moment before putting it back in her purse, and picking up the plate of chow mien again. "Have you and Harvey thought about children yet? I mean you've moved in together, the next natural steps are weddings and babies"

I choked on my food; my stomach flipping uneasily as I suddenly lost my appetite. "W-what?"

She noticed my reaction, her expression falling slightly, knowing how off guard she had caught me "Sorry if I overstepped the mark, it's just you two are so perfect together, I was just wondering if I could expect grandchildren any time soon"

"Oh I don't know… We haven't really talked about it…" It was true; we haven't spoken about our future fictional children.

"Well what about you Donna, do you want kids?" I picked up my glass of wine as I looked around the apartment, downing it quickly, hoping Ruth wouldn't notice.

"In the future, sure…" keep it simple Donna, don't elaborate, don't indulge in the fact that you've known your children's names since you were 12 and since the age of 25 you've pictured those children being taught how to ride a bike and fathered by Harvey. Keep it casual, just breatheeeee. It'll be okay.

"Well the clock is ticking, neither you or Harvey are getting any younger." Brilliant, thanks for pointing out that I am nearly 36 and I have no children, but its okay because I have a loving, committed boyfriend, so I should have enough time to pop a couple of children out before my ovaries shrivel up and my boobs hit the floor.

Oh reality, you bitch. I'm going to die forever alone, with no children and no husband. No one to look after me, or shove me in a nursing home when I start to lose my mind and control of bodily functions. I can't even rely on becoming a cat lady, I don't even like cats! I'll just become a haggard, old alcoholic living under a park bench, screeching out Harvey's name every time a man in a suit walks past me. Shit happens.

"Any-wayy…" I started, desperately wanting to move the topic of conversation away from how amazing my fake life is in comparison to my real life. "Tell me about Harvey as a teenager…"

* * *

**Harvey POV**

I straightened my tie as I checked my reflection in the car window, perfect. Stepping onto the pavement, I looked around, on the remote off chance that I was about to bump into someone I know. Keeping my head down I walked into The Sherry-Netherland Hotel on fifth, showing my key card to the attendant before heading for the elevator. I don't know why I was so anxious to get out of public view, or why I felt like I was sneaking around like a teenager. Reaching the 3rd floor I swiped my key into room 316, the room lowly lit as I entered.

"I have to admit, this is a little below your usual standards Specter." I smiled at the voice, shrugging off my suit jacket as I disregarded it on the back of the car.

"I'm incognito tonight" I replied, opening the bottle of champagne that was chilling in the bucket on the nightstand, as I poured two glasses. I watched as she crawled towards me on the bed, a seductive smile on her lips, her clothing not leaving much to the imagination.

"So tonight I'm your dirty little secret?" she asked arching her eyebrows as she accepted a glass of champagne. Taking a sip I smiled, kicking off my hand made one of a kind Italian leather shoes before setting the glass aside. Placing my hands on the bed, either side of her I leant over until our faces were centimetres apart, the smell of her signature perfume filling my nose, the intoxicating effect making it almost impossible for me not to just jump her here and now.

"No tonight, you're my merger, Scottie." I winked as I closed the gap between us, Scottie falling back into the mattress as her delicate fingers skilfully worked at my tie.

"Well in that case Mr Specter, lets get down to business." She said against my lips, throwing my tie across the room, along with any other thought or care I had.

* * *

I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. I stared at the basic alarm clock on the nightstand, 2:56am. Letting out a sigh I looked to the sleeping body next to me, feeling... nothing. I scrunched my eyes shut, my body exhausted, craving sleep, but it was no use, my mind was racing and I couldn't comprehend why. Running my hands over my face I gently pulled the covers away from my body, trying not to disturb Scottie as I crawled out of bed. I mindlessly got dressed, grabbing my phone from the nightstand before quietly exiting the room, a wave of relief, for some reason washing over me as soon as the door clicked shut behind me. Illuminating my phone I opened a missed text Donna had sent me from just before midnight:

_Hope the merger went well, I've already found the killer bag you'll be buying me tomorrow as an apology for leaving us tonight. Dinner went well, learnt some interesting things about you as a child, Harriet ;) Goodnight boyfriend. X_

I choked out a cough as I exited the hotel, the cold night air in combination with the Donna's words shocking me… Mom. I was Harvey goddamn Specter for crying out loud, I had a reputation to uphold, how on earth was I expected to get Donna to respect me now she knows I liked to play dress up as a child? Oh god, what if she tells Mike, or even worse Louis. For the first time in longer than I could remember, I was embarrassed, I was vulnerable to somebody else, she had the upper hand, information she now had at her disposal. Fantastic.

Hailing a cab, I couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable, knowing it was a ridiculous hour to call Ray for a lift home. Harvey Specter didn't take taxi's. Getting into the yellow taxi I shuddered as my body came into contact with the cheap leather interior, the smell of a days worth of people lingering in the car as I gave the driver my address. Looking out of the window, I watched the buildings pass, the roads quiet considering the time, meaning I was quickly getting closer to home. Pulling up at my apartment I gave the driver a 20 for my $9 cab fare, dismissing the change, Harvey Specter never carried change, there was no need to. I gave the doorman a polite nod as I entered the building, striding towards the elevator as quickly as my tired legs could take me. Loosening my tie from around my neck the elevator pinged, I creeped into my apartment, not wanting to wake anyone up as I was greeted by an unexpected sight.

I scrunched my face up in confusion as I looked at the several empty Chinese takeaway cartons on the kitchen counter, alongside empty bottles of wine. Why? I had booked the Donna and my mom in for dinner at Duals… that's not even a Chinese restaurant. Dismissing the sight, I tiredly dragged myself to my bedroom, shrugging my clothes off my body without hanging them up, something I will curse myself out on in the morning when I see $10000 crumpled on the floor.

With what felt like small smile on my lips (but I'm telling you, its not) I quietly crawled into bed, my body causing the mattress to dip as she stirred ever so slightly, her body rolling inwards, now facing the middle of the bed. I pulled the covers up over us as my body finally relaxed, my eyes already beginning to flicker shut. I let my eyes fall on the sleeping figure next to me as I let out a content sigh, my eyes fluttering as sleep overcame me, my last sight before falling into a state of slumber being the mane of auburn hair sprawled across my $500 pillows. Wait, is that a noodle in her hair?

**So...41 reviews in 3 chapters?! amazing. I am so humbled. Keep the reviews coming, they mean quicker updates. I've already got chapters 5-9 planned and they are good! So we had the intro of Harvey POV, it was more establishing his character, i'm not going to break down his emotionally unavailable walls down just yet! Keep reviewing, any fics you want me to check out, let me know as well! x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Donna**

Walking through Central Park on a day like this was my absolute favourite, the sun was shining, the autumn leaves were scattered on the ground, and there was just enough breeze in the air to crack out my new jacket. Taking a sip of my vanilla latte I sat on a bench, looking around, admiring the beauty of such an open green space situated in the middle of one of the liveliest metropolises in the world. This was kind of a ritual for me, every Saturday; I ditched the opportunity for a lay in in favour of the park, people watching, having a walk, and just losing myself for a little while. I woke up this morning to find an empty bed. I had thought that I had felt Harvey crawl into bed sometime in the middle of the night, but maybe it was just my overactive imagination mixing my dreams with reality. I couldn't help but wonder where he had been, it's not that I'm doubting Harvey, it's just that I know his calendar inside out, even if I'm not in the office, I still know all of Harvey's appointments, but I didn't know anything about a merger… neither did Rachel when I briefly mentioned it to her on the phone. I'm just being paranoid, I'm getting too much into character, I'm acting like the possessive girlfriend. Who cares what he was doing, or who he may have been doing. Not me! Okay that's a lie, I care very much, but its opposite day, or its not opposite day, I'm already confused, shut up.

These were the times that I'm glad I'm only a secretary and didn't equate to anything greater in life such as Harvey. Yes my working week was long, and my pay check was a few zero's shorter than I would like, but it meant that the majority of the time, I had my weekends. I could act like a human, rather than a robot. I could act like a normal woman in a normal world, rather than in a world of seven/eight figure deals and fake people. The life of the rich and famous appealed to me, as it does everyone to an extent, but I would much rather be humble and happy than rolling around in a bath full of money alone.

I guess to an extent that's why I'm so hung up on Harvey, in a sense I want to change him, change his life so he can appreciate the things that the vast majority of the population get to have. He may be stinking rich, but he isn't rich in life. I could be the one to show him that, to give him that. Does that make me a preacher? Does that make Harvey sound like a charity case? Probably, but it was true. He could have it all, if he really wanted it, he could have it all. Mrs Specter's questions hit home last night, she was right, I wasn't getting any younger, who knew how much time I had left to have a family. And here I was wasting time, granted only a week, pretending to be with someone who I have no chance of a future with. What if my Mr Right walked past me this week, sat next to me in a bar, and I just ignored him because I'm playing 'house' with my boss? I had wasted so much of my life having flings, or fantasising about Harvey that I haven't remotely allowed myself to find someone who I could have a future with. I am nearly 37 and I haven't had a relationship that's lasted over a year since I was 25. You know, roughly around the same time I met Harvey. I'm not blaming him for my unluckiness in love; I merely blame him from being so goddamn good-looking and arrogant that my ovaries weep every time I see him. I also blamed karma; because it's clearly holding a grudge over me for whatever terrible thing I did in a past life. I probably looked crazy sitting here on a park bench mentally having a conversation with myself, I wouldn't be surprised if the men in white coats turned up any minute, but I didn't care, they can drag me away, I wouldn't put up a fight.

Day three, only four more days to go of this charade and then I can run back to my lonely life living in Brooklyn where the most luxurious thing about my living is the occasional bubble bath I allow myself. Bitch, I know how to live.

As far as I'm aware Harvey wasn't needed in the office today, hell, I actually think he specifically requested not to be contacted because he wanted to spend the day with his mother, part of me hoping that those plans didn't include me. Not that I don't _love _hanging around with Harvey and his mom or anything, it's just even some of the worlds greatest actresses need a day of every now and then. How do I plan to spend my day you ask? Let me tell you. I am going to get naked, like full blown naked and have a bath in Harvey's tub. I say tub, but it could easily be mistaken for an Olympic swimming pool, it was massive, and it had jets, no more words are needed. What could be better than that? Well, if Harvey was in there too feeding me strawberries and rubbing my…back (mind out of the gutters you filthy animals) that would be exceptional, but this is real life, not some Hollywood funded rom-com. Then I plan to bury myself under his hideously expensive duvet, on the sofa and watch shit TV, like awful TV, the stuff where you cringe and thank god that you were created in some superior form.

Finishing off my coffee I got up off the bench and tossed the paper cup into the recycling bin, appreciating how close Harvey's apartment was in relation to the trek I would normally make from Brooklyn. Inhaling deeply I wrapped my jacket around me tighter as I made my way to one of the many exits, looking forward to a relaxing day where I don't have to be anyone than plain boring Donna.

* * *

**Harvey**

I rubbed my tired eyes as I slowed down my pace, beads of swear dripping down my face as I came to a standstill. It was 9am, and I had been running around the park for nearly 3 hours, I'm pretty sure I have ran the equivalent from New York to London, no exaggerations of course. I breathed through the pain, the burning sensations in my calves causing my face to scrunch up in discomfort as I slowly walked in the attempt to cool down. Yet I soon wanted to sprint away again. In the not so far distance I saw a recognisable head of auburn hair, my heart rate increasing more than it already was, in fact I was pretty sure I was only a few beats away from a full cardiac arrest. Little did she know, I saw her here every Saturday, it was kind of her thing. She would always walk the same route, sit on the same bench and watch the world go by, but I never made my presence known. She saw me so much during the week, this was her time, who was I to intrude. Besides I didn't want to speak to her, hence why I started my morning run a lot earlier than usual. I woke up this morning, momentarily still thinking I was at the hotel with Scottie, I mean that would be the only logical conclusion to come to when I woke up in the state I did. Upon opening my eyes however, I realised that the body that was curled up next to be, using me as a human pillow, was not Scottie, rather Donna, sleeping peacefully in my arms. It was a sight I wasn't used to, it was a sight I didn't know how to comprehend. There was no denying that Donna was an attractive woman, she was gorgeous, and in a world where she didn't work for me, I would have probably tried to make her mine at some point, you know, because I'm a hot blooded male….with a dick. But this was Donna, and I couldn't let her wake up next to me in the position we were in, I wasn't about to mess up our dynamic, we had a good thing going, and I wasn't prepared to fuck it up because I wanted to cuddle. Besides I felt kind of…dirty holding her after sleeping with Scottie only a number of hours before. I was a gentleman, and that wasn't a very classy thing to do, even for me. So I got up, and ran, literally. I needed to clear my head. Last night with Scottie was... different. We had always had this arrangement that whenever she was in New York, or I had hopped over to London that we would meet up and…'merge', it was a release for both of us, it was fun. We had dated in the past, but work had got in the way, it didn't mean that we didn't have feelings for each other anymore, in fact quite the opposite. We would always toy with the idea of becoming a couple, talking about scenarios where one of us would move to the others city, find a new firm and take the leap into a committed relationship, but it never materialised. Ultimately neither of us was willing to sacrifice our jobs for the other person. But last night I felt, empty. The lust wasn't there, the passion wasn't there, it was mechanical, it was boring. I kept wondering about what was going on at home, how my 'fake' family were doing, and it was a thought that made me feel uncomfortable. None of it was real, none of it mattered, it was simply an act, I had successfully managed to leave thoughts about Donna at the door before, but now she consumed my mind more than I would like to admit, and I didn't know how to read it. Four more days, just four more days then I can go back to my single bachelor life, where my kitchen counter is flowerless, my bedroom is void of expensive handbags and my bathroom isn't littered with sweet smelling toiletries. Four more days…cool?

* * *

**Donna**

I scrunched my mouth to the side as I stared at the vase of flowers on the kitchen counter, the flowers that Harvey had got me on the first night of this act. They were still as beautiful as the first time I set my eyes on them. I picked my phone up off the counter and took a picture of them, wanting visual proof that they existed. Sure, the circumstances were not exactly how I would have liked to receive them, but I can imagine otherwise. I wonder how Harvey treated his girlfriends? Would this whole other side of him appear where he is emotionally vulnerable and expressive of his feelings, or would simply justify everything with cash, you know, buy his feelings. Looking at the clock I still had a while before I had to prepare dinner for the two of them when they got back from exploring the City, what I would cook, I had no idea. Could I cook? I guess. I mean, I've only given myself food poisoning twice.

Hoisting myself off of the stool I decided to do some exploring of Harvey's apartment… okay I was going to do some casual snooping, don't tell me you wouldn't if you were in my shoes. Skipping around the apartment I noticed the distinct lack of anything that made the place remotely…homely. Everything was so modern, so sterile, it was a little odd. I opened the door to a room I had yet entered during my stay or any other previous visits to Harvey's place, entering into what looked like an office. Why would you want an office at home when all you do is spend your time in an office? If I had my way, I would turn this room into a sauna, or a spa with a full time beauty therapist. But that's just me. The room was so unlike the rest of the apartment, it was as if I had stepped into an alternate universe. The furniture was a dark mahogany, the walls a deep burgundy colour, bookshelves littered with fiction, the room scattered with picture frames. It was just so… un-Harvey. But it was amazing. I looked around in awe as I sat down on his plush leather office chair, the leather worn as if it looked decades old, yet was still ridiculously comfy. I smiled as I looked at some of the photos, some of Harvey as a child with his dad and brother, his graduation picture from Harvard, him being the best man at his brothers wedding. It was a side of Harvey no one in his New York life had seen, his cold, hard exterior that he constantly reminded me that he had to uphold was as fake as our relationship. Underneath it all there was normal, loving, family guy, whose real identity has been repressed and replaced by something he thinks he needs to be to be a successful lawyer. But it was the picture on the corner of his desk that took me by surprise the most; it was a picture of the two of us. I grabbed the frame, mentally taking note of its exact position as I ran my fingers over the glass, not even remembering when this was taken. The two of us were visibly younger, we were laughing about something, our eyes locked on each other as the photographer captured the exchange. His arm was loosely around my waist, with a drink in the other hand… when was this? My curiosity got the better of me as I turned the frame over, popping the back off to see if there was any writing on the back of the photograph. _Christmas party 2004_. We looked so happy. Smiling to myself I slipped the photo back in the frame as I noticed a smaller photo had fallen out of the frame, obviously kept behind the photo for some reason. Unfolding the photo my heart stopped, literally stopped, as in clinically dead, rendered speechless at the photo. It was me, as Ophelia from when I was in high school. I had thrown that photo in the bin during one of my famous tantrums years ago. Why did he have it? More importantly, he rummaged through a bin to retrieve it?! It was one thing having a picture of the two of us on his desk, but this was something else, what did this mean? How was I supposed to read this? Ugh now my vision is going blurry, damn stress headache. I slipped the photo back into the frame as I left everything how I found it, slipping out of the room before I found anything else that may confuse me further.

What the fuck.

Grabbing my purse off the counter, I rummaged through the bag to find the silver packet, grabbing a cigarette and my lighter before letting myself out onto the balcony. I don't care that its bad for me, I don't want to hear it, when you find secret photos of yourself in your bosses apartment when you're infatuated with said boss then you can tell me all about the health risks associated to smoking. I took a drag before running my spare hand over my face, wishing my brain would slow down and stop over thinking, or just stop completely. I didn't really feel like cooking anymore, I didn't really feel like socialising, and I didn't really feel like hanging around Harvey. I wanted to go home to my apartment and have a pity party for one, with special guests Ben and Jerry making an appearance half way through the night. I was so out of it that I didn't realise that someone had entered the apartment, let alone join me on the balcony.

"You smoke?" I stopped mid drag as I spluttered out the harmful smoke, turning around wide-eyed. He looked at me with an expression I hadn't seen before, no doubt this was his disappointed face. I looked around for his mother, but I couldn't see her, I just hoped she hadn't seen me.

"Where's your mom?"

"She's up the empire state building, she told me to come home and help you cook dinner,"

"Oh right" I muttered, my only response. I hated myself as I checked him out, his navy jeans and white polo looking incredible on him as I wondered why he could dress like a normal human just a little more often. Taking another drag he reiterated his earlier question "Since when do you smoke?"

"I don't. Well, only when I'm stressed and there's no wine at easy access. Don't act like you don't do the same, remember that time you came into worked stoned with Mike?"

"Moment of weakness" he defended. "Why are you stressed?" his tone changed, softening slightly.

I shook my head, dismissing him "It doesn't matter, its nothing."

"If something's upset you, tell me, we're supposed to be friends." Colleagues, friends, pretend lovers, all seems to mean the same fucked up shit to me.

"Honestly Harvey it's cool. Do you think you can prepare something, I have a killer headache and I just need to sleep it off for a bit" stubbing out the cigarette I passed him and his concerned expression as I went into the bedroom closing the door behind me. Crawling on top of the covers, I curled up into the foetal position and stared at the wall. Since when was I living in a low budget TV film with a shitty plot that was only showed on the lifetime channel, and when the hell could I get off?

**Well I wasn't actually going to update today as I thought I would have no time but turns out I managed to write this in an hour and a half. Worrying how I wrote 3000 words in 90 minutes, especially seeming as I only had a vague idea what was going on. I havent read through it so sorry if theres any typo's, i start work at 4am and i need an early night haha. 59 reviews… incredible, please keep them coming to see an update Friday night. **

**What did we think?! Some progress on Harvey…**


	6. Chapter 6

**Harvey POV**

I sat on the balcony watching the sunset, a glass of scotch in my hand as I tried to unwind, my mind still too congested for my liking. You would have thought after an epically long run and several hours since, that I would have sorted myself out, but alas here I was mentally wishing I was at work, balls deep in a case rather than playing happy families. I set my glass down on the table as I heard the door click open, my mom entering into the apartment after an afternoon of looking down at New York City from the Empire State building. I had prepared us paella, remembering the countless times Donna mentioned how much she loved Spain, thinking it would be a nice gesture. Why did I even care if It was a nice gesture or not, since when have I let other peoples wants and desires affect my decisions?

"Hey honey" my mom greeted as she joined me on the balcony, planting a kiss on my head, that even at 38 still made me roll my eyes and fee slightly uncomfortable.

"Hi mom, how was the empire state building?"

She took a seat next to me and smiled "Still as magical as I remember it" The last time she had been on the Empire State building I was 13, it was our first visit to the City and it was the day I fell in love with New York. From that day I knew I wanted to live here, live amongst the hustle and bustle, become successful in _the _City. No other place quite lived up to New York. "Where's Donna?"

I passed my mom a scotch as I looked out to the City "Asleep, she has a headache or something, I'm not quite sure." Did that make me a bad fake boyfriend?

"She's such a lovely girl"

"If only she heard you say that." I laughed "Donna is a force to be reckoned with, I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of her" It was true, Donna was not the sort of person you wanted to mess with, sometimes I think she would cause more harm than I would in a fist fight.

"She's feisty, I like that. I don't know how you did it Harvey but you managed to find the whole package. A woman who can not only put up with your crazy working hours, demands and self obsession but one who actually makes you smile."

"Yeah, I'm a lucky guy. Who knew I found someone like her at a lame party."

"I'm not stupid you know" she mused, breaking the silence. "I know that you two didn't meet at a mutual friends party" Fuck. How? What? How the hell did she find out? We were _so _good that I was convinced we were about to win an Oscar for most convincing performance in a fake relationship.

"Mom, its not what you think…" I had a reputation to uphold and I wasn't about to be exposed as a fraud, especially in front of my mother. It wasn't an option.

"I know she works for you, Harvey" Oh. "She's the girl, the girl you've always talked about. I knew that one day you would get your shit together and get the girl." _Oh. _Wait, what?!

"I didn't 'always talk about her'" I defended, not really knowing what else to say. I didn't talk about Donna; in fact I doubt I've even mentioned her in conversation before.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head "Would it hurt you to for once admit your feelings? You're in a relationship with the girl, she lives with you, and still you have these walls up. I know you don't like to feel vulnerable, I know its not in your nature but sometimes you have to just let go. You have this gorgeous woman who loves you for you, its so obvious it's almost painful. And it's obvious you feel the same. The way you look at each other reminds me of how I used to look at your dad. Do you know that your dad and I were friends for years before we met, just like you and Donna were?"

I had never really asked about how my parents had met, I had always just presumed that they got married, had me, realised that that was the greatest achievement known to man and lived happily ever after. "Really? How did you become…more?" I was curious, how did two friends from the opposite sex become more than just friends? Not that I care… really.

"Our friends always went on about how we were perfect for each other, and it wound us up so much, we began to resent them because we kept telling them that we were just friends, nothing more, but they simply didn't buy it. So we decided to just give them what they all wanted so much. We pretended to date. We were only going to do it for a short while, put on a show, and then mutually break up, that way our friends got closure and we got to live a peaceful life. However, they were right, turns out we were meant to be. Which pissed both of us off because we hated to be proved wrong."

Are you fucking serious? I took a large sip of scotch as I looked away wide eyed. Just… really? Really? Oh all the ways you could meet your soul mate that had to be the one. "Wow…"

"Crazy, right? I wouldn't have changed it for the world though. It's funny how the world works, sometimes you spend all this time convincing yourself that something isn't going to happen, because you're scared of messing it up or ruining a good thing, but when you make the leap you realise that it was the best thing you ever did."

Remember when I said that I had a lot on my mind? Yeah, times that by a million and that would only be kind of close to the level of mindfuckery I'm currently experiencing. It makes Mike's entire portfolio of fuck ups look like a walk in the park. "We should have dinner, I'll go wake Donna" I quickly changed the subject as I excused myself from the balcony. I ran my hands through my hair, wishing that I had just stayed single, I didn't need to play this pretend game to look like I was winning at life, I am winning at life.

Opening the bedroom door quietly I scrunched up my face in confusion as I saw Donna curled up on to of the covers shivering profusely. Quietly walking around to her side of the bed I knelt down beside her, raising a hand to her forehead. She was burning up. I quickly got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing an empty bucket, filling a bowl with ice before grabbing some painkillers, water and a towel.

"Everything okay Harvey?"

"I think Donna's sick. She's asleep but she's burning up and shivering. Is it okay if I skip dinner, you can help yourself, I just don't want her to throw up on the sheets, they were really expensive."

"Of course " she smiled softly "Go look after your girl."

I nodded, gathering the supplies in my arms as I went back into the bedroom, noticing that she had moved, now star fished across the entire bed, hair sprawled out in every direction, her jeans half way down her hips, her top hoisted up. Setting everything on the nightstand I went into my wardrobe picking out a large t-shirt and a pair of lounge pants, knowing that Donna would kill me if I had allowed her to be sick or ruin her clothes. I carefully turned her over as I grabbed the t-shirt, slipping off the jumper she was wearing. I tried not to look, out of respect of course, but I was a man, and its not like I hadn't seen it all before, granted it was many years ago. Lifting her head up I slipped the shirt over her body, doing the same with the pants. I lifted her body up using one arm as I shimmied the covers down the bed, placing her on the mattress as I tucked her in.

"Mmm no" she mumbled, tossing and turning several times before settling down again. "No, no, handbag…margarita."

"What the fuck are you on about Donna?" I whispered, getting on to the bed next to her, making sure everything I needed was within an arms reach. I wasn't going anywhere.

**Donna POV**

I woke up wishing I didn't. I felt like shit. Okay, I know that's not very descriptive so let me expand on that statement slightly. I felt like I had been run over by a freight train, resuscitated, thrown off a bridge, put on a rollercoaster and then put in an oven. On the scale of one to ten, ten being 'fantastic' and one being 'horrific' I was minus 32. I know what you're thinking _god she's a hypochondriac,_ well you can go do one. I groaned as I rolled over, my eyes struggling to open as felt a wave of nausea rush over me. I didn't know what time it was, what day it was or if I was still on planet earth as I struggled to lift myself up, my limbs feeling like concrete, I let out a whimper.

"Donna, don't move…" Okay beautiful melodic voice, I wont move. I let my head roll back as my limbs stopped struggling to lift my body, my brain not even fully comprehending who had instructed me to give up. Maybe it was George Clooney, but not George Clooney, rather his character from ER circa late 1990's.

"Mr George Clooney please put me out of my misery and just kill me."

"Ssshh Donna" I squinted as I felt a cool towel on my forehead, giving me momentary relief from the inferno that was my skin. Opening my eyes fully I scrunched my face up in a combination of pain and confusion.

"You're not George Clooney" I lamely stated

"Well observed" they laughed, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You're prettier though…" I muttered, mustering up just enough energy to smile. He was pretty; this must be heaven because he was an angel.

**Harvey POV**

I rolled my eyes as I patted her head with the cold towel, clearly the girl was delusional. "Well I know that, I'm Harvey Specter."

She groaned, fully becoming aware of her surroundings "Harvey? Oh shit. I shouldn't have said that. Oh man." she mumbled, turning her head away as she rubbed her face with her hands. I adjusted myself on the bed as I gently manoeuvred her to a sitting position, her body limp under my touch. I yawned, my body desperate for sleep, but it wasn't going to get any anytime soon.

"We both know you find me irresistible so I forgive you"

Donna let out a helpless groan as she snuggled closer to me, clearly not in a sane frame of mind as she rested her head on my lap. I smiled as I heard snores escaping her lips, my fingers finding their way to hair as I absentmindedly played with it, staring off into space. If anyone had told me that I would be up all night looking after a sick Donna, I would have probably told them that I was Harvey Specter, followed by suggesting a solution that was enabled with money. But then again I've never been in a situation where I've had to look after anyone else other than myself, to have someone dependant on me. Whether I wanted to admit or not, I felt responsible, I felt protective and I felt like it was my duty to look after Donna. Expectations and reality are such different concepts. However the expectations I had of myself compared to the reality were negative preconceptions. I did in fact have the ability to care for someone else, even though I was convinced I couldn't.

I couldn't get my mom's words out of my mind; everything she had said had struck a cord that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Donna was everything she had described and more. She was feisty, hell she was probably the feistiest woman I have ever met in my life. She put me in my place when everyone else is too scared to. She accepts my flaws, recognises my weaknesses and calls me out on my shit. I've never really had friends, even when I was at school I was a bit of a loner, I liked my own company, anyone else would just hold me back from where I wanted to go in life.

Even though Mike annoys the shit out of me and I wish I never met him on a daily basis, I ultimately saw him as a friend. You will never hear me say that to him though, and if you tell him, I will kill you. But Donna was simply… more. She got me, she knows what I'm thinking 10 minutes before I even know myself, and I don't quite know what I would do without her.

"Fuck" I muttered to myself. What the fuck was I doing with my life?

"You're the best fake boyfriend, arrogant boss and self loving human ever, thank you for looking after me" I looked down, her eyes were still closed, but her lips were in a tight smile, oh man she was lucid. "You know, I may be dying right now but anyone would think you're the sick one. I think you've got a heart problem, mainly being that you in fact now seem to have a heart."

Rolling my eyes, I shifted, allowing my head to rest on the pillow "Shut up Donna or I'll smother you in your sleep."

"Whatever Specter. And don't think you'll get away with the fact that you undressed me whilst I was unconscious, I could have you locked up for that"

The woman was ridiculous. I couldn't help but wonder why Donna wasn't being nursed back to health by some other man, why she was available to play this game with me to begin with. I had known Donna for 10 or so years yet I had never seen her with a serious partner. I had seen random guys pick her up from work but never someone who stuck around more than a couple of weeks. Was there a side of Donna that I hadn't seen, which makes her undateable? Or was she just like me- too independent for her own good. Maybe no one got her like I did. Perhaps no one understood her jokes like I did or realised how the simple things like a decent coffee or a weekly stroll in Central Park were to her. Maybe the male population was just blind and didn't know a good thing when they saw one.

Who knows.

**Okay I thought yesterday was Wednesday so I thought I had another day to write this, but alas I didn't. And I'm not one to break promises, so here is your update. It's a shorter one as I have worked 12 hours today and I start works again in 8 hours. 74 reviews in 5 chapters though… you have literally made my day. You are all amazing. Please keep it going, show me your love and If you do, Sunday night you will get a massive long update where some drama goes down.**

**Some questions you asked in reviews:**

**Why has Harvey changed his clothes- each page break (horizontal line across the page) is another seen, its not necessarily linked straight away, hours have passed etc.**

**Why does Donna smoke- no one Is perfect, they each have their flaws, it a staple theme in the story**

**Why did Harvey sleep with Scottie- he has a dick, and doesn't use his brain**

**How do you write Donna like that- Personal experience, she's basically me.**

**SO, that's enough from me, hope you enjoyed a Harvey centric chapter, hopefully it highlights his confusion and that he's not as together as everyone thinks. And before you ask why Donna has suddenly come down ill; stress does crazy shit to you, so does a change lifestyle/routine, or maybe she ate a bad burrito, Go with it.**

**CHEERS! XXXX**


	7. Chapter 7

**Donna**

I have no idea what's going on. The last 24 hours have been a complete blur, and for a fraction of it I think I was dead, or at least in a coma, because nothing makes sense. First I find hidden photos of me in Harvey's office, next I take a nap, and before I know it I have a fever, I'm talking more shit than usual, and Harvey is being… nice. In fact, I don't think you could even describe it as nice; it was so uncharacteristically nice, so unlike Harvey that I'm still uncertain whether or not I imagined it all. Harvey undressed me and put me in pyjamas, tucked me in, played nurse, and held me all night as I was experiencing what I can only imagine to be what the plague felt like. There was no ulterior motive, no resentment, no snide comments about how much of an inconvenience I was, he was just there. What do you do or say when someone like Harvey does a 180 on you and willingly stays by your side _all _night and day? Thank you? Does that even cut it? Do words of gratitude work for people like Harvey or do I need to produce a contract stating that a kidney is his if ever he should need it?

And now, now he's sitting, _out of choice_ may I add, next to me watching the big bang theory, in bed. At first I was convinced that he would soon realise what this programme was and would flee, but 6 episodes later he was still here deeply engrossed, laughing along. How the hell was I supposed to function now? It was bad enough struggling day to day with the burden of being in love with my boss, but _now? _When he's acting nice?!

I tell you, I am so close to having a mental break down. So close. Perhaps I already am, who the fuck knows. All I know is that if I didn't escape this fucked up fantasy soon, one of us would probably not make it out alive. And my money's on me.

It was all too suffocating. I had been living on my own since I was 18, I was used to being independent. Guys would stay over, but never for an extended length of time. Hell, the longest I've spent in anyone company continuously before this 'situation' began was 24 hours, and I thought that was tough.

I was constantly on edge here, afraid of saying or doing something that would blow our covers in front of his mom, not to mention the general awkwardness of living with your boss. Sure, Harvey knew more about me than probably most people in my life, but I had always kept my personal life, personal. In the space of a few days Harvey has seen more of my life and me than I've let anyone in years, and vice versa. It was unexpected, it was hard to comprehend, and it was just plain weird.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as the show went for a commercial break, shifting on top of the covers, making himself comfortable. In all honesty, I felt okay, not amazing, but a million times better than in the night, but I was going to milk this for just a little longer. I mean, there's a very high chance that I will never get to experience _the_ Harvey Specter nursing me back to health ever again, I've got to make the most of it, for mankind's sake.

"Pretty meh" I responded with a shrug.

"Meh? That's not even a word let alone a feeling."

"It's how I feel so shhh. I am hungry though; I haven't had anything to eat in like a day! I'm practically wasting away" I could murder a burger right now, a nice greasy burger with about 13,000 calories, but I don't know if my stomach would allow it.

"Would you like me to knock you up something?" This is what I mean- who is he and what the fuck has he done with the real Harvey!?

"Toast" I shot him a toothy grin, "Peanut butter on toast would be incredible!"

I watched Harvey roll off the bed before disappearing into the kitchen. I paused the TV as I listen to him sing to himself, Harvey surprising me for what felt like the millionth time this week.

_"__Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep, dreaming about things that we could be. But baby I've been, I been praying hard, say no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars, yeah we'll be counting stars…" _Harvey could sing? Harvey knew popular music? See if you would have asked me what sort of music I thought Harvey would listen to, I would initially say none, because Harvey does not have fun and does not enjoy recreational activities unless they usually involve women with daddy issues. But if you would have asked me if I thought Harvey could sing, I would tell you that you need to shut up because the pure thought of Harvey having a melodic singing voice may just make my ovaries explode.

Queue ovary explosion.

He was attractive, he was successful, he was confident and now he could sing. Anything else you want to surprise me with Harvey? The ability to personally achieve world peace with a single smile?

I pressed resume as I heard the fridge door close, acting like I hadn't just eavesdropped and had an eargasm.

"Here you go m'lady" he passed me the plate as he scooted on the bed, throwing an arm around me before grabbing one of the slices of toasts on my plate.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. Bitch please. Nothing comes between peanut butter and me.

He stuck his tongue out before taking a bite "This is payment for me looking after you all night."

" You saw me in my underwear, if anything, you owe me."

I yawned, stretching my arms above my head as I woke up from quite possibly the best nap I've ever had in my life. After complaining that I felt sick again, I made Harvey tuck me into bed so I could have a nap wrapped up like a cocoon, remembering how amazing it felt being tucked in so tightly as a child. I was about to call out for Harvey when I heard the sound of voices, muffled from the other side of the door. Who the hell was out there? Wriggling out of my cocoon I scrambled to the door being as quiet as possible.

I pressed my ear up against the door, wondering whom the hell Harvey was talking to, his mom had gone to a Broadway show for the evening, and I was in here. Perhaps he was talking to himself, it's a viable option.

"Why _are_ you here Mike?"

"In all the time that I've known you, you have always been contactable, you've always been doing work of some kind, but this weekend you went completely silent, your phone has been switched off, you haven't replied to my emails, I thought you had died." Mike responded as I raised an eyebrow, why had he unplugged himself for the weekend, Harvey never stopped working, not really. No matter how much it appeared that he was enjoying his weekend, he was always up to something, it's just how his mind worked.

"My mom's in town" he simply stated.

"Since when have you been a family man?"

"Mike, I've been busy. You're not my mom, I don't have to answer to you, and as much as I would love to say that I appreciate you checking up on me, you shouldn't have wasted your time. You can save your amber alert for somebody that needs it."

"God you're sassy tonight." I rolled my eyes, Mike was one of the only people, besides myself of course, that could take Harvey's crap and give him it back just as good. I loved Mike, he's like this cute little puppy that has some deformity but you decide not to put them down because you love his quirky ways. "Hang on…why is Donna's handbag on your kitchen counter…"

Shit, fuck, bollocks. "It's not Donna's its my moms." Harvey quickly blurted out.

"Bullshit, that's Donna's bag. Trust me, she goes on about it enough; I know what it looks like. Is she here? Is _that _why you've gone all quiet, are you two… Oh my god, I knew it, I always knew it. Fuck me, this is HUGE. Oh my god!"

I face palmed at Mike's excited, verging on teenage girl excited voice, mentally thanking god that I went for another nap. This was not a situation I wanted to be confronted with, no thank you.

"No Mike."

"How long has it been going on? Are you guys serious? Please tell me you're not just sleeping with her, she's not the kind of girl you can just fuck and drop. She's Donna, she deserves way more than that." I love Mike. Seriously, if I had enough balls to open this door and face the music, I would go and hug him and maybe give him a treat for being such a good, loyal boy.

"Mike, shut the fuck up will you! She's asleep." I sat down on the carpeted floor, my ear still firmly attached to the door as I continued to listen to this interesting exchange, kind of pissed that we had been exposed to yet another person, but also kind of beyond giving a shit anymore. Actually, I'm surprised that Rachel had managed to keep it a secret.

"So she _is _here?! I knew it!"

"Yes she's here, but it's not what you think."

"Well explain then! Because so far all I've got if that she's asleep, presumably in your bed."

I heard Harvey sigh as I decided to have a look at what was going on in the other room. Opening the door ever so quietly, I allowed it to open just a tad, giving me just enough room to peek out yet still see everything without raising suspicion.

"You're a pain in my ass Ross." He took a swig of scotch as the two of them sat down opposite from one another. "Look" he said in a slightly quieter voice "I asked Donna to pretend to be my girlfriend whilst my mom is in town to get my mom off my back for being married to my work and not having a personal life."

"And Donna said yes to that bullshit?"

Harvey nodded "Not without a fight, but it wouldn't be Donna if that wasn't the case." It's true.

"Okay… I still don't understand how that results in Donna being asleep in your bed?"

"I stupidly told my mom I was living with her as well, so I begged her to stay here for the duration so we looked legit. And she's asleep in my bed because she's been ill, so she's resting at the moment."

Mike shook his head in disbelief, letting out a short laugh "That is messed up, even for you Harvey. How long have you two been pretending to play happy families?"

"Few days" Harvey shrugged

Mike tried to process all the information as he drank his drink "So you're telling me that you and Donna, are pretending to be together, and living together whilst your mom is in town because you don't want to get lectured by your mom about being single?"

"Yes. Why aren't you a genius piecing that together all on your own."

"Are you two sharing a bed?" Awkward, awkward, awkward.

"Yes."

"Oh you're such a sleaze, Specter." Mike didn't sound impressed as I couldn't help but wonder what he meant by that comment. "You had a late night booty call with Scottie whilst you were sharing a bed with Donna, Jesus Harvey, where is your class?" my face fell at Mike's words, he was with Scottie.

When?

I didn't even know she was back in town. Then it hit me- the night I was begged to take his mom to dinner because he had a 'merger'. I bit my lip as a wave of emotion hit me, my eyes watering slightly as I felt tears well up, what an ass. He couldn't even keep it in his pants for one week; he couldn't even pretend to be with me for one week without having to screw someone else.

"Its just Donna, Mike. She doesn't care. She knows what I'm like" Yeah, and just when I was starting to doubt your cold, selfish personality, you go and confirm my original assumptions. Nice one, dickhead.

"She's still a person Harvey. She deserves respect. She agreed to your ridiculous plan, and you continue to do whatever the fuck you want, whilst she has turn her life upside down to suit you. How do you think she would feel if she knew this?" As much as I appreciated Mike fighting my corner right now, I couldn't help but stare at Harvey's face, looking for any sign of emotion, of regret, or agreement to what Mike was saying.

"Mike… Donna is not my wife, she is not my girlfriend, she is just my secretary. That is all. Will you give it a rest."

I closed my eyes as his words echoed, my body finally deciding to stop fighting the tears. My lip quivered, _she is my secretary that is all._ That's all I Am. Not even a friend, just a secretary. A decade of my life I have dedicated to his man, trying my best to fix his problems, compliment his successes, clean up the string of broken hearts he leaves behind him, and I'm just a secretary. I all of a sudden lost interest in whatever the fuck the two of them had to say as I hoisted myself up off the ground, stray tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn't want to be here anymore, I felt unwanted and used. I silently dragged my weak body to my suitcase in the wardrobe, pulling it into the bedroom as I unzipped it. Gathering up all my things I threw them carelessly in the suitcase, before ripping his clothes off my body, shoving the nearest outfit on. Stuffing my phone in my pocket I inhaled deeply, wiping the tears from my eyes as I psyched myself up. Fuck Harvey, I was done.

I grabbed the handle, opening the door as both Mike and Harvey's attention moved to me, their conversation halting. Silently I walked past them, grabbing my purse off the counter as Harvey stared at me with a shocked expression on his face. I stopped in front of them, cocking my head to the side as I feigned confusion

"You okay Harvey? You look a little pale." No response. I pursed my lips together and faked a smile, trying so fucking hard to keep my cool. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Donna-" Mike spoke up softly, knowing exactly what had happened. I turned to Mike as I gave him a genuine sad smile

"Sorry Mike I think you mean 'just Donna' or you can just refer to me as the secretary."

Harvey got up as he walked towards me, his mouth opening, preparing to say something. "Save it." I interrupted, putting my hand up "I'll see you at work." And with that I left, slamming the door firmly behind me. I stood still on the other side of the door mentally counting up to ten as part of me hoped he would chase after me but with every second that passed hope faded and tears reformed. I was stupid to think anything different, every time I built myself up with this misplaced hope I had for him, and every fucking time he let me down. He really didn't have the ability to care for anybody but himself.

With tears blurring my vision I watched the streets go by as I sat in the back of a yellow taxi, finally going home, where no body could hurt me, where I could finally be me again. Even though it had only been a few days, it seemed like a lifetime since I had stepped food in my apartment, everything so different, yet so familiar as I entered. Letting the door click shut behind me I dropped my bags, throwing myself on the sofa, letting my emotions get the better of me. In this moment I felt lonely, and lost. Everything I was used to had just been shit on and I wasn't about to just forget about it.

Harvey Specter was nothing more than a self-obsessed, arrogant, asshole who doesn't care about anyone else but himself. And tonight, he could go royally fuck himself.

**Well I said I was going to give you a long update, but I'm sick and I could barely write this, and because interest in the last chapter decreased. Maybe you guys hate what I'm doing? I received 1000 views in 2 days but only a couple of reviews, besides my friends who tried to cheer me up. Reviews really are motivation and they let me know people are still interested. Will update soon, how soon depends on how much love you show me. It takes 10 seconds to review; it takes me 2-5 hours to write you a chapter.**

**Poor Harvey, what an ass he is. But he didnt have a chance to respond. Next chapter i think will probably be Harvey centric, it's going to be a good one.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Harvey**

"You're a fucking asshole, you know that right?" I exclaimed, downing my scotch before slamming the glass on the counter.

"Me?" Mike scoffed shaking his head "Like fuck are you going to blame this one on me. I simply asked you questions, you're the dick that said all of that shit."

"Well if for once in your goddamn life you were able to stop sticking your nose in to other peoples business, this wouldn't have happened. Do you realise what you've done?" I stepped towards him, getting right in his face, my breathing heavy as I continued getting worked up more and more.

"I don't know if you heard me the first time but get it through your arrogant, self righteous head that _this_ is not my fault. You've fucked it up. We _both know_ that Donna is not just a secretary to you, she never has been, it doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to see. Yet you had to go say all of that, its as if you're on a self destruct mode, anything that could be good for you, you ruin before it has the chance."

I clenched my jaw, using all my strength to not punch Mike in the face right here and now, I didn't need some pubescent fraud preaching to me about life and love. "Shut up Dr Phil." Mike grabbed his jacket off the counter, slinging it on around his shoulders before stopping in front of me, his eyes burning into mine.

"It wouldn't hurt you to just for once show some emotion Harvey. You act as if the world is against you, when you cant see that you're the one hurting yourself, and others. Donna is the best goddamn thing to ever happen to you, and you know that. You need to figure out just how much she means to you because she's not going to hang around being your enabler anymore. I just hope you realise before it's too late."

I didn't respond. I didn't know how to respond. I watched Mike make his dramatic exit from my apartment as for the first time in a long time, I felt truly alone. Donna hated me, Mike thought I was an ass (not that that's anything new, but it was at a whole new level) and my mom thought I was living the dream life. She had no idea. The silence in the apartment was almost painful, the absence of Donna's singing, laughter or snoring making my stomach knot uneasily.

For someone who uses their words, and has to think about what they are saying for a career, you would have thought that I would have mastered the ability to say the right thing, but I didn't have a clue. Emotions, for me, aren't expressed. They're a sign of weakness, and instead I have taught myself to remain stone like at all times. If people know your vulnerabilities, they know how to destroy you. Besides, I felt uncomfortable openly showing my emotions, I didn't know how to act or respond, even when my dad died the only time I cried was when I was on my own. I didn't bat an eyelid when Donna broke the news to me, or when I was standing at his funeral, I was afraid of expressing myself in such social situations.

Dragging my hands across my face, I inhaled and exhaled deeply, a headache now forming as I tried to figure out what to do next. I should have chased her out the apartment, but I didn't. She was no doubt halfway to Brooklyn by now, and if I was honest, I didn't want to go after her. I wasn't prepared; to be honest I still don't entirely know what I did wrong. I switched myself off, letting my body go on autopilot as I got ready for bed, not even registering a thought as I undressed and got under the covers. I frowned as I rolled over, my nose filling with the scent of signature perfume on the pillow that had been occupied by her for the last few days. Closing my eyes I attempted to push the waves of guilt aside, hoping that when I woke, this would have all been a dramatic, unnecessary dream.

* * *

**Donna**

"Ugh, this is so not a good look" I spoke out loud as I assessed my face in the mirror. It was the morning after the night before, and if I had thought that last night had all been a shit dream, then my face sure confirmed it was reality. I winced as I poked at my puffy eyes stained with old eyeliner and mascara, my cheeks covered in black blotches, my hair resembling one giant dread lock.

I let out several yawns as I showered and got ready, my body reacting to the little sleep it received last night. Between the tears, the tub of ice cream and the shot or five of vodka I passed out sometime after three, sad, angry and confused. I wanted revenge, I wanted to be a bitch, to show Harvey how much of a fucking ass he was last night. His words hurt, more than I would have ever expected and although I wanted to be irrational, I just didn't see the point. In that moment, and now to an extent, he just wasn't worth it. I wasn't some eighteen-year-old girl anymore, pining after her first true love, I was an adult and shit happened. Life is too goddamn short and messy as it is to complicate it with individuals who aren't worth your time.

But that didn't mean I didn't want to listen to sad songs, write ambiguous Facebook statuses and eat my weight in chocolate until I'm too fat to leave the house without assistance.

Instead I decided for once in my life to take the high road, if Harvey only saw me as a secretary, than that was what he was going to get. Choosing the most conservative and formal attire I had in my wardrobe, I threw it on, sticking my hair up into a boring hairstyle before hardly applying any make up. I was comfortable with how I looked. I could wear a bin bag and I would know I still looked hotter than 99.9% of the females in the building, but Harvey loved the fact he had a glamorous secretary, that I was nothing like Louis' secretary Norma. Well not anymore. For a split second I thought about just not going into work, perhaps even quitting but then I remembered my pay packet, the perks of the job, and the fact that I could make Harvey silently regret the day he ever fucked with me. Grabbing my purse, and shoving a granola bar into my mouth I left my apartment determined to rise above the likes of Harvey 'forever alone' Specter.

* * *

**Harvey**

My heart was racing the whole duration of the elevator ride up to the office, my palms sweating as I was anxious to come face to face with Donna. I have never been in a situation where I have fallen out with someone like her, whatever that was exactly. Was she going to be angry? Would she hit me or poison my coffee? Am I worrying about nothing? All these questions swam through my head as I silently wished I were seeing a client out of the office today, I wasn't in the mood for petty personal politics, and not because I was scared that I wasn't going to win. Because I knew I couldn't win. I exhaled deeply as the elevator doors opened, keeping my head high and my back straight I walked through the office as if nothing had happened, passing several nameless associates before reaching the part of the floor where my office was situated.

I saw her before she saw me, her auburn hair looking different than usual, in fact everything about her looked different than usual. Her normal professional yet suggestive attire had been replaced with a simple ivory blouse, a pair of black fitted trousers and a pair of black flat pumps. She wasn't wearing heels? Donna _always_ wore heels when working, that was Donna. Her hair, usually cascading over her shoulders and back was scraped back in a tight bun. Even though she was still just as hot as she had always been, this was not the Donna I knew. Had I done this in any way? Surely not.

I cleared my throat as I approached her office, her attention caught as she kept a blank expression, her eyes quickly returning to her work as she completely brushed me off. I walked into my office, sitting down at my desk as I mindlessly checked my emails, knowing that any second now Donna was going to walk through the door and tell me my schedule for today.

And as if on queue, she strutted into my office, hands full of paper, a pen stuck in her bun. "Your schedule for today is the following…"

**"**Donna, can we talk?" I said as I pushed myself off my chair, my schedule could wait, if I didn't fix this now I was going to go crazy. I had spent too much of my night over thinking and not sleeping, I couldn't go through all that again tonight.

"Mr Specter you have Richard Hodgins coming to see you at 11:15, and you have an afternoon meeting with Louis at 2 to arrange the finalities of the Killingbeck merger." She didn't even look at me, her eyes fixated on the pile of paper resting in her arms. She called me Mr Specter, she has _never_ called me that. I hated it.

"Donna-" I tried again, my voice softening, I needed her to talk to me, or at least look at me.

"If you need anything, just let me know Mr Specter" and with that she walked out of the office and returned to her desk, picking up the take away coffee cup as she took a swig. My expression fell a little at the realisation that she hadn't picked me a coffee up. Not that I was sad because I didn't have a coffee, but rather that she broke a routine that we had had going for years, each taking turns on alternate days to buy the other one a coffee. I slammed my closed fist on my desk in frustration, I hated this. I could tolerate the majority of the world hating me, but I couldn't handle Donna hating me. I had some time before my first appointment, and I couldn't just sit here a matter of feet away from the women knowing that in that pretty little head of hers she is probably thinking of how she can murder me whilst making it look like a suicide. I was going to do something I hated, but had no other option, I was going to ask for help.

* * *

"Rachel, can I speak to you for a moment?" she looked up from her desk surprised, and so she should, I never visited her, or really spoke to her for that matter. She was the best paralegal that this firm has ever seen but I have always taken advantage of her excellent work ethic without giving her the time of day.

"I-I guess" I shut the door behind me, taking a seat opposite her as I crossed my right leg over the left.

"I know you know." I stated simply "If Donna hasn't told you herself, I know Mike has, he probably came running home last night crying over it."

Her expression hardened "With the greatest respect Harvey, you're an ass."

"I've been told. How do I fix this?"

"Harvey Specter asking me for help? I must be dreaming."

"You spend too much time with Mike, his mediocre attempt at sarcasm has rubbed off on you"

She shot me a fake, sarcastic smile as she leant back in her chair, she knew she had the upper hand in this situation "Why should I help you?"

"Because my name is on the door, making you my employee."

"And being rude is not going to get you anywhere" who knew Ross' girl could bite back, I was minutely impressed, she made Mike look like even more of a pussy.

"Look, you can either help me or you can not, I'm not going to hang around and watch you play god in this situation. I fucked up, is that what you want to hear? I fucked up."

She smiled "As much as I would love to give you the answers so my friend can be happy again, you need to figure it out on your own. She was in hysterics on the phone to me last night Harvey, you hurt her. I have never heard or seen Donna cry in all the time I have known her, what you did was 100 on the douche scale. Neither of you know what you are to each other because for years you've hidden behind snide and sarcastic comments, you know each other, but at the same time you don't know anything about each other at all."

"We've known each other for years." Poor response Harvey. Poor, poor response.

"I've known the bagel vendor outside for years, doesn't mean I know him Harvey. When was the last time you and Donna had a conversation that didn't involve work, or doing something for your benefit, when did you last take interest in something she did or cared about?"

"if I had wanted to see a shrink I would have paid for one" this was useless. I pushed myself off the chair and turned to leave when Rachel spoke up once more.

"Run away, like you always do. This is exactly what I mean Harvey, you know I'm right and yet instead of acknowledging that you too are human and can make mistakes, you run away."

"I'm not running away, I'm busy, this firm doesn't bring in the millions on its own."

"Whatever Harvey, I hope for your sake you find a heart to fill that dark void you have in your chest before its too late, because you need Donna a hell of a lot more than she needs you."

* * *

**Donna**

Sitting on my own in a dark, dingy Irish pub in Tribeca I took a large swig of my pint of Guinness, remembering that I really did not like Guinness. Why the hell was I even here? Looking around the place I noticed an old man in the corner staring at me with a creepy smile on his face. Winking at me and blowing me a kiss I turned around, eyes wide as I downed half my pint. Today was…boring. I had successfully given Harvey the cold shoulder despite his several attempts to talk to me, but my god it was boring. I was angry at him still, there was no denying that, but I missed our banter, I missed verbally abusing him for no good reason, I missed pretending I ruled the firm by Harvey's side. Who knew just doing your job was so dull!

"This place is a dump" the voice said as I felt someone slide onto the stool next to me. For the love of god, was nowhere in this godforsaken city sacred? "I can't believe I came all the way down here"

"There are over 8 million people in New York and yet somehow you manage to always find me." I kept my eyes fixated on my glass, mentally taking note that next time I want to avoid someone or generally just be on my own, I need to skip the state. "How did you find me?"

"Hired a private investigator. Nah, you left your 'find your friends' app on, makes stalking pretty easy"

"Great" I rolled my eyes "Now you've found me, you can fuck off because I have nothing to say to you."

He signalled to order what I was having before he swivelled on his chair to look at me. "Brilliant, because I'm the one that's going to do the talking"

"Nothing new there" I muttered under my breath, finishing off my drink before ordering another. If I had to be here, with this company, I was going to do it intoxicated.

"I know you heard what I said to Mike last night"

"Oh wow, good one Sherlock." I retorted, twiddling my ring around my finger.

"Jeez, someones sassy tonight." I slammed my hands down on the bar as I turned around, making eye contact with him for the first time. He was dressed in his suit pants and a white shirt, his shirt unbuttoned a little too much, showing just enough chest for me to temporarily forget I was angry.

"Look, if you're going to talk, get on with it. Or go, because my patience is running thin and my tolerance for your face is incredibly low."

Harvey smirked, shaking his head before turning serious again. "I'm sorry." He blurted out quickly, so quickly that I'm not sure I heard it right the first time.

"What was that?" I squinted

"I'm sorry. What I said was out of line."

"How was it out of line Harvey?" I wanted to know if he really knew why I was upset.

He looked up at the ceiling momentarily before looking back at me, licking his lips "Because it was all bullshit. You're not just a secretary to me. Well, you are my secretary but you're a lot more than that. You're my friend."

"You have the most fucked up way of showing it" I stated.

"If you hadn't noticed, I don't really do friends. I say and do the wrong things, the only thing I truly know is the law. I fucked up, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put you in such a shit position. I should have never asked you to pretend to be my girlfriend, it confused the boundaries of what we are, and I don't want it to change."

"And what we are is friends?" I asked in clarification, my heart sinking a little bit. Here he was, making the most sincere apology I was ever going to get out of Harvey Specter, yet at the same time he had unknowingly told me everything I needed to know. He didn't want us to change.

He nodded " You're my friend. And I'll try to make more of an effort to not be such an ass all the time"

"Right…"

"Do you not want to be my friend?" he asked, my eyebrows furrowing at my response.

As cute as vulnerable Harvey was, the simple answer was no, I didn't want to be his friend. I never did. I had always just settled for it, hoping that it was just a temporary thing before we progressed into something more. I needed to decide whether or not I could continue this 'friendship'. Do I go on pretending like I'm not head over heels for the guy, silently hanging on to the single thread of hope I have left, or do I cut ties, count my losses and move on?

I sighed "Of course I do." Well, I guess that's that.

"Well… do you forgive me?"

"No, but I don't hate you. You have a lot of making up to do."

Harvey grinned as he picked up a large black gift bag that was hiding down the side of his stool, my curiosity peaked. "Is this a good start?"

I quizzically took the bag before opening it carefully, my mouth falling open slightly in surprise. I pulled out the most beautiful black leather Kate Spade bag, my name embossed in gold on the front in tiny delicate letters. It was a bag I had never seen before, and I knew every item in every Kate Spade collection, trust me. "Is this…"

"A custom made Kate Spade bag? Yes." He looked proud "I was going to save it till your birthday but I needed some damage control and I thought this would help"

"How did you..." How the hell did he get his hands on a custom made bag, how did he get it so perfect?

"I pulled in a few favours. I met with the woman, told her what you were like, what you liked and what I thought you would like, and this is what she came up with, there wont be a single person in the world with a bag like that." I knew that material items cant buy love or friendship, but in this case I was just about ready to promise him my first-born child. "Did I do good?"

I wanted to pretend I wasn't impressed, and that I wasn't in love with this bag, but I couldn't. "The bag is amazing, but your still an ass, and you still have a lot of grovelling to do…"

He slung his arm around me, pulling me close "I wouldn't have it any other way."

**Wow, so thank you for all your amazing reviews, I am a very sick but happy girl, that's the sort of thing writers love to see! I want to clear one thing up as a sassy person left me a 'review' (not really a review as they didn't actually comment on my story) that I was begging for reviews- I'm not begging, i'm just stating that reviews are motivational. If I can see people enjoying what im writing, ill bash out an update in next to no time, im not going to waste my time writing if no one is enjoying it/secretly thinks its terrible. I've always lived by two mottos- if you haven't got anything nice to say, doesn't mean you have to be a bitch. And 'those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind' apply it however you see fit!**

**Anyway, let me know what you thought about this chapter/Harvey/Donna/ what you think im going to do next. I love seeing your responses, keep em coming!**

**Right im off to attempt to eat this hospital food, although im pretty sure this isn't even legit food. Yay life.**

**p.s i havent read this through as i am drugged up to the eyes on painkillers and can barely stay awake for more than 5 mins. so if it makes no sense then damn.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Donna POV**

I've been staring at this bag for 48 hours. Staring mainly in awe but also in annoyance. Harvey always thought the answer to all of life's problems was money. He wholeheartedly believed that everyone has a price, and apparently mine is a gorgeous handbag that _sooo_ belongs on my arm, but out of principle, I just can't. Damn me for being such a stellar member of society with rock solid morals… Okay maybe not rock solid, but pretty fucking admirable. I sighed as I put the handbag back in the gift bag, running my fingers over the hand written tag on the bag, Harvey's signature scrawl simply saying "I'm an ass x"

"Goodbye sweet treasure, you are too beautiful to be used as a pawn in our fucked up game" I said to the bag sadly as I placed it on Harvey's desk before returning to mine, already in a state of mourning over the loss of the most beautiful thing to have ever graced my life.

I hadn't really seen Harvey since the other night, not that my memory of that night is too fresh. Half a dozen pints of Guinness followed by numerous rounds of tequila, Harvey decided to take yesterday as a 'personal' day whereas I battled through and spent the vast majority of my morning having an intense relationship with the 45th floor ladies bathroom. I couldn't help but wonder what he had said to his mother about my sudden disappearance from his life and house. Had he owned up to his lies and put her straight? Or did he just fabricate more and more, saying that I had gone on some last minute pilgrimage or had fled to west coast for a girl's holiday. It's weird, for days I was complaining about the arrangement, just wanting to go back to the life I knew and liked, yet now my wish has been granted, I'm not so sure if I even liked it that much.

I now hated walking into a dark, quiet apartment where I have only my thoughts to occupy me. I missed being part of something, having people around me who had a constant interest in my wellbeing and me. I missed feeling the warmth of someone next to me at night, or waking up at 2am to find someone's strong muscular arms wrapped around you protectively as if it was our little secret that only our sleep induced selves knew. In the space of 5 days, I had gotten attached to a life I had never truly experienced, only seen as a spectator of my parents, others and in the movies. I wanted more from life. I'm getting old, every day is another day wasted as I pretend that I'm content with life.

But I'm not. I want the white picket fences, the husband, and the children. I always had, I just believed that somehow I could manage it all whilst being successful in New York City. What are my priorities? Do I even have any? It's about time that I put me first, to be selfish as I strive to achieve the life I want, that I deserve. I can't keep chasing after someone who is just so oblivious; who I'm not even sure has the ability to be someone's significant other for the long haul. I had to move on. As much as I didn't want to, I had to move on. Hell; I had to grow up.

* * *

**Harvey:**

Feeling 5000% better than I did yesterday I waltzed into the office with a smile on my face, knowing that although things with Donna weren't 100% back to normal, they were pretty much there. I couldn't help but smile wide as I remembered the moment I gave her the one of a kind handbag, proud that I had managed to create something she loved by being observant. Who said I only thought about myself?!

"Goooood morning beautiful!" I exclaimed as I passed Donna's desk, putting a vanilla latte in front of her, her face falling in shock as she suspiciously watched me enter my office. Today was a good day and I was in a good mood. Taking a sip of my coffee I walked to the window, admiring the sheer beauty of the city in the fall. Adjusting my suit jacket I turned around, my movements stalling as I noticed a familiar large paper bag resting on my desk. What the…

I just stared at her through the glass with a confused look upon my face, why the hell was this here? Was she lying to me? I know she was drunk, but I really thought she liked it, she did almost try to make out with it. Several times.

"Harvey…" she spoke as she entered the room, her expression firm yet soft as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was wearing a teal tailored dress, one that I hadn't seen before, but appreciated immensely.

"The bag" I pointed to the bag "Why is it here? I thought you liked it… I thought we were fixing things?"

She sighed, stepping towards me as she placed a hand on my arm, the skin under the suit jacket and shirt breaking into goose bumps at her touch. "You came begging for forgiveness after I had consumed 5 drinks on an empty stomach and then you waved an expensive bag in my face. You could have committed mass murder, and in that situation you would have still had the same initial reaction as I gave you. I was incredibly close to jumping you there and then, but this doesn't fix us Harvey."

"Donna, I don't know what to do or say, you're the one that usually helps me out of situations like this." I didn't want to speak because I didn't want to ruin things further.

"Look Harvey, I'm going to be honest here; you mean a lot to me. You have been this permanent fixture in my life for a decade and I don't want that to change, but it has to."

I sucked in a breath, not wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say. It was too early in the day to be receiving bad news; it could have at least waited til it was socially acceptable to have a scotch. "Are you… leaving me?" I had had many near losses with Donna over the years, but every time I managed to keep her around, realising that my life in any sense without her is a darker, lonelier and quite frankly more boring place.

Her hand dropped to her side as she took a step back "I love my job, and I love working for you, but this-" she signalled between us "can't go on. You said so yourself, I'm just your secretary, and whatever this is, isn't healthy for either of us."

"I told you, I fucked up, I was speaking bullshit. You're my friend Donna, first and foremost, you're my friend."

She smiled softly as she perched herself on the edge of my desk "And before I heard you speaking to Mike, I would have said the same thing, but it really made me think and reevaluate a lot of things in my life. Do you want to know how I see the two of us, right now?"

"How?"

"We're two people who have worked together for a long time, we've formed attachments and understandings that we think are concrete. We flirt, and push the boundaries of a professional partnership so beyond its comfort zone at times, that people speculate as to what the deal is between us. We justify all of our actions towards one another and others by saying that we're friends, but our definition of friendship Is not one that is universally acknowledged. We know _nothing_ about each other. We both have so many secrets, skeletons in the closest, and we cant even confine in each other because we don't know how to, because this, isn't normal." She looked sad, the usual sparkle in her eyes, non-existent.

"But we worked before I said that bullshit." If this were a court case, I would be losing. I would have zero confidence and sense of direction. I was at a loss.

"Because neither of us ever brought the subject up, and now I am." She shrugged

"This would have never happened if I hadn't made you play a long with this bullshit idea" I pulled at my hair, the lack of control I had, frustrating me. I wanted to fight. For what, I don't know, but I wanted to fight, I just didn't know how.

"I don't think that's true. I don't think we'd be having this conversation now, but down the line we would have."

I felt uncomfortable, the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach making me feel slightly nauseous. "I… don't want to lose you." I admitted. I needed her life, she was my good luck charm, she got me, even though she's saying she doesn't.

She closed her eyes momentarily, a tight lipped smile forming on her face " I don't want to lose you either Harvey, I just think that we need to establish some boundaries. If you want to just be employer, employee than say so. If you want to be friends as well, then we need to be friends, not a hybrid of every social relationship in the history of time. I'll play girlfriend until your mom leaves town in a couple of days, but I'll do it from the comfort of my apartment. The balls in your court Harvey, you're the boss, you decide"

I didn't even have a chance to respond as she hurriedly exited my office and disappeared down the hall, "Shit" I muttered out loud "Women are so complicated."

* * *

**Donna:**

"Holy fucking shit, Holy fucking shit." I chanted to myself as I power walked down the hall and towards the elevator. "Holy _shit_" I had acted like a grown up and actually confronted the situation. I hated myself, I shouldn't have given Harvey the option to leave me out in the cold and never speak to me again, but then again, I stood up for myself. I did something, for me. I cut the bullshit. There's a very high chance that I wont like the decision that Harvey comes up with, but it's a decision I will live with, it's a decision that in the long term will make me happier than I am now.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" I was so in my own little world I didn't see the person approaching me, nor did I avoid their line of path as I bashed into them, causing their pile of documents to fly everywhere. Crouching down I began to gather them in my arms, as the victim let out a low laugh.

"It's not often a beautiful woman knocks me off my feet" I looked up as I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks, Wow. Where did Mr Abercrombie and Fitch in a suit come from?

"If I wasn't so impressed by your face, I would have probably scolded you for saying such a cliché line, but its also the truth so I'll let it pass" we both got to our feet, a stupid smile still on my face.

Harvey who now?

Who was this guy? Why had I never seen him around here before?

"Well I'm pretty much rendered speechless at yours." Oh Donna does love a good compliment. "I'm Nick" he extended his hand

"Donna"

"I know this is pretty direct but what would it take for a girl like you to have dinner with a guy like me, say tonight at 8?"

And he's forward; well, what's the point in beating around the bush, especially when someone as drop dead gorgeous as this is at stake. "A decent bottle of red in a restaurant that is not pretentious but gives me a good enough excuse to go and buy a new dress"

Raising his eyebrows "Well I'm pretty sure that can be arranged."

I nodded satisfied "Good, well pick me up in the lobby at 8, I don't do tardiness"

"See you then" he winked and walked off in the opposite direction as I mentally broke out into a happy dance. What the fuck is happening Donna?! First you grow a pair and confront Harvey, next thing you have a date with a fine piece of ass. This was just the sort of distraction I needed.

Oh god, now I need to go dress shopping. Would it be bad if I used Harvey's credit card?

* * *

**Harvey:**

I loosened the tie around my neck as the elevator pinged open, the lobby of the building swarmed with people wanting to escape into reality. Inhaling deeply I let the cool fall air wash over me as the lights illuminated the dark sky. Donna's words swam through my brain all day, my concentration shot as I tried to figure out what I wanted and how I could get it. Donna's forgiveness was a goal, and I always achieved my goals. Even if my work is cut out for me on this one.

I scanned the street a head of me for Ray's car amongst the hoards of headlights as my eyes landed on that signature head of hair; it was as if I had a special sense for it. She had her back to me in the distance, her eyes fixated on her phone as she stood shivering, the teal dress she wore this morning replaced with a black number, significantly shorter with a low back line, the fabric hugging her figure. Where was she off to?

I watched her from a far, feeling a little bit like a stalker as she tucked her phone away in her purse, her face erupting into a smile as someone strode towards her, open armed. When I say someone, I mean a guy. I squinted as I tried to get a better look at the douche bag who was now kissing Donna on the cheek, saying something that caused her to throw her head back in laughter.

Donna only laughed like that around me. Fact.

I didn't like this guy.

I watched as she walked away with him, his hand on the small of her back, as I couldn't look away, I wanted to, but I couldn't. A feeling i couldn't quite pinpoint bubbled inside of me as I felt the urge to rip the guy off of her and throw him to the curb. But I didn't. I just continued to stand out of sight, clutching my phone as I illuminated the screen, my eyes falling on the lock screen- the two of us at the 2004 DA's Christmas party. It was nice photo, what else was I going to have as my screensaver? The shitty pictures of flowers and the desert that Apple supplied?

I scanned through my contacts until I reached Scottie's name, knowing she was still in town, needing a pick me up. My fingers hovered over the call button as I watched their taxi disappear down the road into the sea of break lights. Sighing loudly I exited the screen, locking my phone before stuffing it in my pocket.

"You look like shit" I raised an eyebrow at the voice before turning to face the source. My lips pulled up to one side as I gave Mike a sorry attempt for a smile.

"And you look like a bag full baby vomit" oh wow Harvey, that's mature. You're losing your touch.

"What's up? You were fine 15 minutes ago when I saw you in the office, what's changed?" Mike always cared. Despite the shit I continuously threw at him, he always cared. It's irritating.

"I want to get drunk. You're coming with me, and we're going to get drunk."

"But, Rachel is at home waiting for me… she cooked…"

"Screw Rachel, I'm your boss and I'm telling you, that we are going to consume some ridiculously overpriced alcohol and regret being born in the morning."

"Yes boss…" he replied, his voice uncertain. I nodded in the direction of Ray's car as Mike followed suit, quickly texting away, no doubt to Rachel, warning her that she may never see him alive again.

I gave Ray the directions to the best bar I knew in the City, a bar I knew I could relax, drink and use Mike as an emotional punch bag without being bothered by anybody I knew.

* * *

"You should probably slow down, you have to meet with that new client tomorrow" Mike slurred, propping himself up against the bar, his tie, tied around his head like a child.

"Ugh" I groaned, downing my drink before signalling for another "What client?"

He tapped his chin to contemplate thought "Oh, Oh, I know!" he exclaimed excitedly "Nick Fields. Jessica set it up, apparently he's this pretty boy who inherited his dads business when he died."

"Brilliant, another kid wonder who doesn't know how to tie his shoelaces"

"How are you and Donna?" Mike asked as he stared at the glass in his hands, putting all his concentration into raising the glass to his lips without spilling it over his $200 shirt.

"Shit." I shouted over the music and voices "She gave me an ultimatum, she said she can't continue the way we were" I blurted out, not caring who I told.

"And what's that?"

"Oh" I sighed, rolling my eyes "Apparently, flirt, pretend we're friends whilst trying to work together. Donna says it's confusing"

"I will not lie to you Harvey" Mike pointed at me "When I first met you and Donna, I thought you two, were, you know."

"What?" I did not know, but I was amused to find out.

"Together, Sleeping together." He responded. I laughed. "What? It isn't far fetched, I could totally see it happening"

I downed yet another drink as I slammed the glass on the counter victoriously, my body numb as my head spun "It did" I snorted out, running my hand over my face.

Mike's mouth fell open. His eyes growing wide "WHAT?"

Ah shit, that was supposed to be a secret "Yeah, years ago. One time thing."

Mike shook his head, unable to process what I had just told him "You're lying, there's no way that happened and you're the way you are today."

"I'm telling you, it did. I have it all up here" I tapped my head, my brain flashing back to that night all those years ago.

Mike leaned over the bar towards me, lowering his voice "Well… err… how was it?" he sounded embarrassed.

I leant back as I smiled smugly "A gentlemen never tells… but let's just say I'm still waiting for someone to exceed Donna's incredibly high standards"

"I thought as much"

I raised an eyebrow as I laughed, "Mike, are you telling me that you think about Donna having sex?"

He threw his hands up in defence "No, but I can not be held responsible for what my subconscious dreams about every now and then."

"Oh Mike, you little perv"

"As you always say Harvey, you taught me everything I know."

**Sorry it took a few days for me to update, I am still so under the weather. So bored of being ill and feeling miserable. Someone cheer me up. Im getting too emotionally invested in tv shows because I cant have a life at the mo haha.**

**What did you guys think- who noticed the little upcoming conflict? Next update provisionally tomorrow or Monday.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Harvey :**

I am too god damn old to be this hung over. This shit should have been left in the early 1990's, but yet here I was fighting back the urge to spew my insides on my bespoke suit. Throwing my head back I threw a couple of aspirin in my mouth, washing it down with a glass of water before letting out a yawn. Everything about last night was a regret. Everything. Not only did I blow a small fortune on alcohol, but I also said far more to Mike than I should, than I have to anybody. I was a gentleman; I prided myself on my ability to compartmentalise information without the needing to bring it up in the future, yet last night I gossiped as if I were a teenage girl. So many thoughts swam through my head that I needed to vent, and it was either Mike, or my mom. Stumbling home drunk and incoherent was embarrassing enough when your mother just so happens to be awake getting a drink, but when you're 38 and that happens, it's just wrong. I'm sure she thought I was winning at life; stumbling home at 4am stinking drunk after the sudden disappearance of my 'girlfriend' from our home together. If that doesn't scream pathetic or a midlife crisis, then I don't know what did.

I let my head fall to the desk as I closed my eyes, mentally wishing that the sun would dim ever so slightly and the voices outside would shut the fuck up. I stayed completely still, enjoying the relief that ran through my body at my lack of movement, the waves of nausea subsiding slightly.

"I want to die" I raised my head off the desk as I looked at Mike through squinted eyes, who was sprawled across the leather sofa in my office, half a bacon bagel hanging from his hand, a can of coke secure in the other.

"Harvey Specter does not feel great." I groaned my response

"Does Harvey Specter refer to himself in the third person when he's hung over? Is there any escape from your egotistical traits?"

"No."

"Nick fields will be here in 20 minutes. "

"Good for him." I wasn't in the mood or physical state to deal with some kid who has zero insight into running a business, not today. They were all the same- all big ideas men. Waltzing into every room, clad in an expensive suit, thinking that they are god's gift, when we all know there's only one person who can adequately play that role.

Me.

"Jeez, what the hell happened here?" We both jumped slightly at the sound of a voice that belonged to neither of us, our heads turning in the direction of the source, slowly. Very, very slowly. My body tensed up as I saw her, not even the sick feeling in my stomach could disguise the reaction my body had to her entering the room. Yet even though she sounded concerned, the grin on her face told another story, that and her outfit. She was wearing the dress. The 'day after' dress. She thought that none of us knew about the dress, but I did. Whenever Donna has… a successful night out where she doesn't make it back to her apartment, she always wears the 'back up dress' she leaves in the office- a simple grey shift dress. My hands balled up into fists as I was suddenly overcome with a sense of anger, I hated that douchebag I saw her with last night, even more now. "Guys, seriously what the fuck happened to you two?"

I remained silent, my gaze falling to the floor by her feet as Mike decided to fill the awkward silence "Can you please speak quieter? You're shouting"

She put her hands on her hips; raising an eyebrow in amusement "You two are hung over! Where was my invite?" she feigned being offended as I rolled my eyes, looking away.

Where was her invite? Are you kidding me? She was too busy giving herself to some random guy she hardly knew.

"Mike had some stuff on his mind, he wanted to drink in the company of someone who didn't give a shit" I spoke up, lying. Trying to change the topic of conversation. Mike looked at me and mouthed 'what the fuck' before his expression changed, realisation hitting him, hard. He knew the reason why I wanted to drink myself into a state of oblivion was because of her, perhaps he didn't know why exactly that was, but that didn't matter, I didn't really know either.

"Oh" her face fell a little, as she looked at Mike "Are you okay?"

He nodded, chewing on a mouthful of bagel "Peachy."

She gave him a tight lipped smile before she turned back to me, looking at me intensely for a few seconds before shaking her head, breaking out from whatever day dream she was having this time "You're meeting is in 5 minutes, I suggest you sort yourself out because no one is going to take either of you seriously looking like this." Her preachy tone irritated me as she walked out of the office, Mike slowly getting to his feet as he fixed his suit and tie, discarding the wrapper of his bagel into the waste bin.

Pushing the chair away from the desk, I got up, straightening my jacket as I checked myself out in the reflection of the window. Even hung over, I still managed to look exceptional. Grabbing all of the necessary documents and handing them to Mike, I stuffed my phone into my jacket pocket, leading the way towards the conference room.

Passing Donna's desk I kept my head up and eyes forward as I tried to ignore the fact she was singing to herself whilst happily tapping away at the keyboard.

"Why's Donna so chirpy today? She hates mornings." Why does Mike feel the need to ask so many pointless questions, he is like a child who has just grasped the concept of asking 'why?' to _everything_.

"Because Mike" I retorted, my voice thick with sarcasm "She got laid last night."

I took a seat at the conference table as Mike sat next to me, a confused look upon his face "How the hell do you know that? Unless you…"

"Shut up, Mike."

"Alright, alright, I was just asking, jeez-"

"Hi, I'm Nick Fields, you must be Harvey Specter and…Mike Ross, his associate" I looked up to the door as I leant back in my chair, but blood instantly starting to boil. It was him. It was the fucking douchebag I saw Donna with last night.

The one she was _with_ last night.

I already didn't care what he had to say; we'll just accept him as a client and palm him off to Louis. Mike got up and offered his hand as I continued to sit, staring the guy out.

"So" Mike started, looking at the case file, which I admittedly hadn't seen yet. I prioritised Scotch above this 12 year old in a suit, and it looks like I made the right choice. "You acquired the rights to your fathers data verification company upon his death last year."

"Correct"

"And your company deals with clients in 193 countries-"

"Yeah, we're pretty impressive if I say so myself." Douche.

"Very impressive" Not impressive. Mike has low standards.

"Yet an ex-employee has started a rival company which you believe is using algorithms that belong to your company, yet are currently not functionally within Fields Data?"

"Right. To put it simply, I want to destroy the guy, without these algorithms our verification data with global companies cannot exceed US borders. I want the algorithms and every penny to his name"

I really couldn't give a shit; in fact I wanted to represent the poor son of a bitch that he wants to destroy. I pulled my phone out of my pocket as I scrolled through the settings to the ring tone page, pressing one of them for a sample ring, as I pretended it was real. "Sorry, I have to take this. Mike will run you through the plans and your options and we'll schedule all the necessaries after. At Pearson Specter, we don't accept defeats" My response seemed to be adequate enough for the guy as I excused myself, Mike rolling his eyes as he saw straight through my little act.

I took myself to the roof, not wanting to have to walk past Donna to get to my office, not wanting to be separated by only a pane of glass. I didn't want to look at her. Sure she had technically done nothing wrong, she was her own woman and she could date and/or sleep with whomever the hell she likes, but this guy, seriously? Mr One Direction in a suit?

He still has floppy hair. That hairstyle died in 2007, or on your 15th birthday, whichever one came first. I never let this kind of shit get to me, ever. I hate the personal crap, I was all about business, and I was all about winning. Yet here I was, staring out into the City feeling angry towards Donna who in all honesty is the only person in this situation who has any right to be angry at someone, and that someone is me. My phone vibrated in my hand as I opened a text message up from my mom:

_Is my highflying lawyer son free for lunch with his mom today, or do I need to arrange an appointment? X_

Typing a quick reply, I made my way back into the building, now having the perfect excuse to avoid certain people for the rest of the day before my meeting this afternoon across town. I rung Ray to collect me from work before shutting off my phone, today I really didn't care. I was too hung over and irrationally angry to care, if someone needed me, they could go to the next best thing, and when I say next best thing, I mean 37% of what I am- Mike Ross.

* * *

**Donna:**

"Mike, have you seen or heard from Harvey, his phone is going straight to voicemail and I need to talk to him!" Do you know how hard it is to do my job sometimes? All day, everyday I am exposed to egotistical, narrow-minded lawyers and businessmen who lack general compassion and manners, meaning that more often then not I get verbally abused for no better reason than today is a day ending in 'day'. So when your boss decides to turn his phone off in the middle of a working day when he has a full schedule, you push past the fears that he has been killed in a horrific accident or is trapped down a well and you move straight on to anger because he is making your day unnecessarily more stressful.

And I didn't want to be stressed today. I made a good job of de-stressing (and undressing) myself last night and I would like to feel relaxed for more than 5 seconds. But alas, Harvey is and always will be, a massive pain in my ass.

"Nope. He used the old fake phone call excuse to get out of a meeting with a new client this morning and I haven't seen him since."

"Well if you hear from him before I do can you please tell him that if he wants children in the future and fully functional male anatomy, he should return my calls or I will rip his balls off with my bare hands." I seethed, getting worked up, as my screen blew up with emails all needing to be read and replied to by Harvey.

Mike spluttered out his coffee, his eyes going wide and his cheeks flushing pink. "You alright Mike?"

He nodded quickly, whacking a fake smile on his face "Yeah, its nothing, sorry just misheard and misunderstood what you just said. Inappropriate mind!"

"Right…" weird child. "You're weird."

"That's what I've been told! I'll let Harvey know, bye Donna" I watched perplexed as he hurried off down the hall, what did I say?

I smile as my phone screen lit up, stating I had received a text message from Nick. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I opened the text, remembering last night and how much fun we both had.

_So was last night good enough for a repeat performance? X_

I smirked, feeling like I was 18 all over again. _Only if we skip the dinner and go straight to dessert. _I replied.

_You're my sort of woman, I'll call you later to arrange dessert ;) x_

Was this going to turn into some fling? Most probably. Did I care? Not really. I had preached to myself so much that I had to grow up if I was ever going to achieve having a family before my ovaries shrivelled up into prunes, but as far as I'm concerned I'm making that first step.

And before you ask, no I don't mean by just having sex, I mean by moving my attention from the gorgeous mindfuck that is a named partner at the firm I work for, to someone else, someone who actually acknowledges that I am a woman, and not just a machine there to cater to their every need. If this is my midlife crisis- I would be okay with that. Running into a hot 27 year old who owns his own company, has impeccable taste in everything and leaves me feeling satisfied, doesn't happen often. In fact it only ever happens in movies that feature Jennifer Lopez, and right now, it's my time to be Jenny from the block.

Looking back at the computer screen I sighed, how the hell was I supposed to deal with all of this if I had no lawyer? Setting an automated out of office message to the email account I closed my desk top down, grabbing my purse, a mediocre purse in comparison to the one I know that is locked away in Harvey's filing cabinet, and headed for lunch.

Fuck the system!

* * *

**Harvey:**

I pushed my food around my plate, my appetite gone, my mind so swamped that I couldn't separate one piece of information from the next. "Harvey, what's wrong? You've barely said a word since you've got here, and you're not eating… is something the matter?"

I looked up from my plate to my mom who was staring at me concerned, I shook my head. "Just a few things on my mind, nothing to worry about, mom."

"I may be getting old, but I'm not stupid. Don't you think I've realised that Donna has suddenly disappeared from the house? And that your mood has done a complete 180? What's happened between the two of you?"

I didn't want to talk about. Partially because I didn't know how to tell her what was wrong without admitting to her, that we had put on an act the whole time, and also because I didn't know what to say. "She's gone to see her friend back home, she had some sort of girl emergency." I shrugged, reluctantly shoving a mouthful of bruschetta in my mouth.

She frowned, she saw right through me, but she wasn't going call me out on it, she never did. "Harvey" she sighed, putting her knife and fork down "What happened to you in life that has made you so closed off from everyone? You're so private and emotionally unavailable to everyone. To me, Donna, no doubt your friends and colleagues…"

"I'm not mom."

"You are, ever since you moved to the City. Something happened to you that made you lock your heart and feelings away. But your father and I never knew why, because you never talked. Nothing was ever more than small talk with you and it still isn't now."

"What do you want me to do mom, watch Bambi and cry? It's not going to happen. I'm me. If people don't like who I am, that's fine. I'm not going to change who I am."

She looked sad "You're missing the point Harvey. You don't need to change, because this isn't you. You've just constructed these concrete walls around yourself to protect you, because although you wont admit it, you were hurt in past, and you don't want that to happen again. It's logical, I get that, but all the time you keep these barriers up, you're keeping everyone at arms length, and eventually they'll all give up."

They already have. "Mom…"

"Please, just let me finish, then you can make your excuses that you have to get back to the office or whatever, please." I nodded, letting her continue "Just break down a little piece of that wall for someone. I'm not saying me, but someone. Donna, your friend Mike, the bagel guy outside your work, just let someone get to know the real you Harvey, because if they think you're an amazing man now, they'll be speechless when they see what else you have to offer."

I wordlessly got up from my seat and went over to her chair, hugging her tightly, knowing that if someone I knew saw me right now, my reputation would be tarnished. But I didn't care; my mom was awesome. "Just let someone in Harvey"

But who?

There's really only ever been one option, Donna.

* * *

I let out an over exaggerated yawn as I stretched my arms over my head, it was 10:30pm and 99% of the staff on the floor had gone home, but I didn't want to. My mom had left town a few hours ago, meaning that once again, I was on my own. I thought I would have a ton of work to do after flaking for most of the afternoon, but unsurprisingly Mike had already done it all, like always.

So once more, I was left alone with my thoughts and a glass of scotch. Was this really the life I was destined to lead? Working 80-hour weeks, representing rich assholes, then going home to an empty apartment? Once upon a time I would have screamed yes, that was the dream. But now? Now I find myself craving the company of others, whether it's having someone next to you or merely knowing that they're in a reasonable proximity to you.

I could ring Scottie, or Zoe, or any other girl I have in my address book for that matter, but did I want a hook up for company? Sex is great, there's no denying that, but is there a limit to the amount of times you can have meaningless sex with someone before you want more from life?

I look at the photo of my dad on my desk; he has always been my idol. I never told him that, its one of my biggest regrets in life, but I had always looked up to him, admired everything he had achieved. He wasn't a big shot lawyer, or even someone who brought home millions of dollars a year; he was just a respectable, modest hardware store owner from a little town. He had it all. He put his all into his work, building it up from the ground whilst managing to find the love of his life and start a family. I always prided myself on the fact that I believed my dad and I were so similar, from our appearance, to our personalities and qualities. But we weren't; I had fallen short by a league, I haven't been able to score a home run in the game of life.

I had no one. That's not a cry for help, or the basis for a one-man pity party, it was just the cold hard truth. My mom was right, Donna, Mike and Rachel, were all right. I had these barriers permanently up, if someone got to close, I'd push them away. I knew that, I'd always known that. I chose to be like this. No one could hurt me that way again. I didn't hate it, but I didn't like it. This is why I couldn't lose Donna, without her I would just be a handsome, successful, but extremely lonely lawyer, living in New York City. She may not believe it yet, and the handbag didn't work like I had hoped, but I was going to win Donna back, I'm Harvey fucking Specter, and I don't lose.

Mr One Direction in a suit, however, may be collateral damage.

**Howdy! How's it going? Thanks for the reviews, I am finally home from hospital, which is amazing, because I was going crazy in there. Still cant really get out of bed or function, but at least I have internet access 24/7.**

**What did we think of this chapter? I'm hoping people are seeing this as the beginning of Harvey's transition/realisation. We've been introduced to this third wheel in the Donna/Harvey relationship, plus anyone pick up on Harvey's secret from the past that's made him this way? No?**

**Show me lots of love, and I'll show you some more Harvey Specter and sarcastic Donna. I have so much of this written now, and it's exciting for me to share this with you. So come on, you know what to do. Happy Sunday! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Donna:**

It's not even remotely funny how tired I am right now.I felt wonderful, and could die a very satisfied lady, but I was exhausted. Everything ached. I let out a yawn as the elevator door pinged opened, everyone working away busily and it was only 8:25am. Smiling politely at everyone I passed, I let out a dejected sigh as my desk came into sight, meaning that I couldn't prolong the inevitable any further. I glanced at Harvey working away on something as I walked around my cubicle, placing my bag on the desk before letting myself sink into the leather office chair. Stretching my arms out in front of me my face scrunched up as I scanned my cubicle, my once immaculate cubicle, now covered in dozens of bright neon post it notes. What the fuck? I shook my head, quickly glancing back at Harvey, who still hadn't clocked my arrival as I decided to look at one of the many post it notes.

"What the actual fuck?" I muttered, noticing that they were all in Harvey's handwriting. My initial thoughts weren't to look and see what the writing said, rather being semi impressed that after all this time Harvey had finally found the office supply cupboard on his own. My confusion grew as I began to read the notes, my brain too sleep deprived to understand the reasoning's behind the words, yet with every note I found myself more and more…impressed? Is that the right choice of words? Maybe, touched? I don't know, either way I wasn't quite sure how to react, I mean, I didn't even realise I had said half of this stuff, let alone believed that he had been listening to it.

_Your favourite colour is blue, because you know you look hot in it and it compliments your hair._

_Your favourite film is 10 things I hate about you, but you refuse to watch the film or any other Heath Ledger film, as you still don't accept his death. _It was true, I haven't been able to bring myself to watching the Dark Knight because of it.

_Before we worked at the firm and we were both on low wages, you would paint the soles of your heels red so everyone believed they were louboutins _

_When you're happy you drink white wine, when you're sad you drink cheap vodka mixers, when you're stressed or confused you drink daytime margaritas. When you're…horny, you drink rum. _What?! I do not… okay, wow I do. Shit.

_You have two sisters and a brother. You always resented being the eldest sibling because you wanted an older brother to protect you._

_The first day I met you, you were wearing a black pencil skirt and a white blouse that had a tiny coffee stain on the front, which you tried to hide with tipex. Your hair was tied up in a ponytail and you had these dodgy bangs going on. _He remembered that?! I was convinced on my first day in the DA's office that he didn't even know I existed; he waltzed around like the big shot, ignoring the little people under him.

_You were offered a job at Jefferson and Pierce, with a starting salary 5 times larger than I pay you, and you stayed. _How the hell did he know that? Nobody knew that, I made sure of it.

I collected all the post it notes off of the surfaces of my cubicle as I avoided looking into Harvey's office, confused at what his motive was, yet before I could even register someone approaching my cubicle, a large vase of sunflowers and a box were placed in front of me. I wordlessly accepted the card off of the delivery guy as I stared at them dumbfounded. What the fuck was happening? It's too early for this, it was too early to be a part of a low budget film that passed cinema released and went straight to Netflix. Opening the card I gulped harshly at the printed writing, my stomach flipping uneasily.

**Your favourite flowers are sunflowers. You think they are beautiful and underrated. You said that no one had ever brought you sunflowers before.**

Picking up the box, the smell of something delicious filled my nostrils as I undid the string holding the box together. I opened the box labelled 'Carlos bakery', my eyes landing on two massive cannoli's with a note placed next to them.

**Your guilty pleasure is watching Cake Boss. You watch it when you're on your break, when no ones watching and when you have nothing to do. You also have a secret crush on cousin Anthony.**

My mouth fell open, how the hell did he know that? I bit my lip as I felt the sudden urge to run to Rachel and vent. What game was Harvey trying to play?

* * *

**Harvey:**

I watched discreetly from my office as Donna read the post it notes I had spent all night writing. She said that we knew nothing about each other that I didn't know her beyond being my secretary for a decade, but that wasn't true. I knew her better than she knew herself. Every story, every little detail she had told me whether it was unknowingly or on purpose over the years had been stored away. So I decided to show her the only way I knew how, and that was in the form of many, many post it notes. I racked my brain for hours, scribbling down every piece of information I knew about Donna down, from the obvious to the absurd. What reaction was I expecting to get from her? I honestly don't have a clue. For all I know, she could strut into my office any second and slap me, Donna was unpredictable, and I loved that about her. Continuing to doodle on a plain piece of paper I watched as the delivery boy turned up with the gifts I had for her. I had learnt my lesson, that buying her expensive items, no matter how thoughtful they were, did not buy her affection or forgiveness. Donna wasn't about the material when it came to relationships with people.

I watched, an amused smile tugging at my lips as she looked at the vase of sunflowers in front of her, shocked. She had once told me when we were driving upstate, passing a field of sunflowers, on the way to see a client, that they were her favourite flavours. That roses and lilies, as beautiful as they were, were just predictable and overrated. She told me that when she and her siblings were young, they would have a sunflower growing competition every year where her dad gave them each a seed and it was their task to grow the tallest flower.

I quickly picked up my phone, putting it to my ear as I pretended to talk to someone, Donna's attention moving from the flowers to me, her eyes wide. I looked away, scared that if I looked at her any longer I would burst into laughter, amused at how she was reacting to everything. She finally picked up the cardboard box of cannoli's I had driven over from Hoboken, New Jersey first thing this morning from Carlos Bakery, knowing that she had always wanted to try one of their signature goods. Plus, Donna was a sucker for cakes, as much as she tried to convince the world otherwise. I got up, walking to the window as I grinned, I was pleased with myself, knowing that her mind was, at least for the moment, on me rather than Mr boy band. Yes, I was desperate to get everything back to normal, to have my Donna back, but I was going to enjoy every single second of making her sweat. Donna loved drama, and I was going to give her a goddamn show.

* * *

**Donna:**

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!" I chanted in a state of panic as I hurried into her office, shutting the door firmly behind me as I gave her an alarmed look.

"Donna…are you okay, you look a little pale"

"Code red, I repeat code red." I paced her office for a minute, as she looked at me in a confused silence.

"Okay, I don't know what that means so you're going to have to explain" I threw myself down in the spare chair, running my hands through my hair.

"Harvey is… I don't know how to explain it. Harvey is bombarding me with information about myself."

"I don't get it."

"I come into work and there's like a hundred post it notes all over my cubicle with facts and observations about me, and then I get a delivery of my all time favourite flowers and some baked goods. What the fuck is he doing?" My breathing was heavy as I was pretty sure I was about to have a panic attack. Ugh this is where I die, in a confused heap. I always knew Harvey would end me in one-way or another.

"Yeah…" she started "I have no idea."

"It's like…he's read the encyclopaedia of Donna. I don't know if I should feel touched or creep out by it all."

"It is kind of sweet that he knows all this about you…"

"NO!" I exclaimed, still worked up "No this is not sweet, this is weird, like fucked up weird."

"You did say to him that you guys didn't really know each other, maybe this is him trying to make an effort to prove you wrong." It made sense, I know it did, in fact it could be the only logical explanation but I still felt uneasy about it all. This was not the sort of thing Harvey did. He didn't listen; he relied on money to fix his problems. I know I told him that that wouldn't work with me, but I didn't think he'd actually take my advice. Oh god, I need a drink, now. Is there a delivery margarita service in this town? Or maybe an IV drip of pure alcohol I could just hook myself up to and sit in the filing room until hell has frozen over and I'm the only human left on earth? No? Fuck.

"I think it is. Just talk to him. Harvey's not one to play games with friends, and to me, that's what he's trying to achieve. He wants to be your friend. This is probably incredibly hard for him, so take it easy."

I rolled my eyes, she was still spot on. "whose side are you on? You're supposed to be Team Donna, not Pro Harvey."

She laughed, "I am team Donna, but I also like happy team Donna, and that's not going to happen until you two children kiss and make up."

"Fine, _mom"_ I huffed playfully, folding my arms across my chest.

"Now, can you please tell me about that hot piece of ass I saw you leaving the building with the other night?"

I laughed my eyes lighting up mischievously "Oh it would be my absolute pleasure…"

* * *

**Harvey:**

I sighed, closing my eyes momentarily as I closed my laptop down, once again I was the last person in the office. Or so I thought.

"What the fuck is this?" I nearly jumped in my seat as Donna stomped into my office loudly, arms in the air as she waved her latest gift. I pursed my lips together, trying hard not to smirk as I watched her freak out.

"Good evening Donna." I greeted nonchalantly, folding my arms.

"What is this? Where did you find this, how did you _know about this?_" she was flapping her arms all over the place, her left hand gripped tightly around the bottle of perfume. It wasn't just any bottle of perfume though; it was her signature perfume from when she was in high school, a perfume that was discontinued around the same time mobile phones decreased from the size of a brick.

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

"Harvey" she screeched in frustration. "What are you playing at?!"

Choosing to ignore her question I got up and grabbed two glasses and a bottle of scotch, pouring a glass for myself "You know, once you told me that this suit made you hot for me" She looked in horror at me, her hands mindlessly searching for a glass as she quickly filled it with scotch. "You said that this suit was tailored to perfection, and that even you found it hard to resist me in it. You were drunk, but you know what they say, drunken words are sober thoughts…"

"Okay Harvey, enough!" she cried out, raising her voice as I smirked. She had finally cracked.

"What?" I asked innocently, swirling the scotch around in my glass tumbler.

"With all the facts! Stop with all the facts." She gulped down half of her drink, her face scrunching up as the burning sensation of the scotch erupted in her throat.

"You're the one who said we didn't know each other, I'm just proving you wrong. You've never just been a secretary to me Donna, and I hope that today has showed that. If anything, you know nothing about me." Her facial expression relaxed as she bit her lip in contemplation, her legs taking slow and deliberate steps towards me. She perched herself on the windowsill, looking at me with her signature smile on her face.

"You graduated fifth in your class at Harvard, but on your resume it says you graduated first. You failed your driving test 3 times and when you did pass you crashed your dad's old mustang into a fire hydrant within a week. You believe that 'Clueless' is one of the most underrated films of all time, and you can recite practically all of it. You claim that your favourite drink is scotch, but when you are at home relaxing you will shamelessly drink a class of rose." I raised an eyebrow at her, touché. The girl had game. "You secretly admire Simon Cowell and if you weren't a lawyer you think you'd make a great replacement for him on the Xfactor. You were part of the drama club in high school…"

"So where you!" I shot back quickly as she jumped off the windowsill, standing in front of me, only inches between us. I gulped harshly as her perfume filled my senses, that same perfume that still faintly lingers on my sheets even though they had been washed since she left.

"And… you have a picture of me as Ophelia" It was my turn to look in horror as I felt a bead of sweat run down my face. How the fuck did she know about that?

I laughed uneasily, waving my hand to dismiss her as I finished my glass of scotch, this woman was making me an alcoholic. "Right…"

"You can deny it all you want Harvey" she grinned victoriously "but we both know its true." How do I respond to that?

"You lost your virginity in the back of a mini van in a McDonald's car park, to your college volleyball coach" I retaliated, taking my jacket off and rolling up my sleeves, if she wanted to play dirty, she was going to get dirty. Her mouth fell open as she shook her head in disbelief.

"How did you…" I smirked, I was winning, I always won. Her eyes darkened as she kicked off her heels, she wasn't going down without a fight, I poured us another glass of scotch. "Well you lost yours in the woods on a camping trip, you ended up doing it in a bed of nettles and had a rash on your ass for a week."

"Son of a bitch, did Mike tell you that one?!" Note to self; skin Mike alive next time you see him.

"The boy will tell me anything, he loves me more than he loves you"

"Lies." I put the glass down and crossed my arms "Mike is loyal to me"

She rolled her eyes "Regrettably so, he is like your surrogate son, that kid worships the ground you walk on."

"And so he should, I'm awesome."

"Says the boy who played Wendy in his 6th grade production of Peter Pan" I was going to have stern words with my mother when I next saw her, I knew I shouldn't have left the two of them alone. I had a reputation to maintain.

"At least all of me is real."

"WHOA. Low blow, Specter. If you had seen the nose I was born with, you'd understand." I couldn't imagine Donna looking any less beautiful, no matter what she said, but I wasn't going to tell her that. "Besides last time I checked, you're the one with the more expensive beauty regime, Mr $250 facial moisturiser."

"You mean the $250 moisturiser that has miraculously disappeared from my bathroom cabinet since you stayed at mine?"

Donna bit her lip, her cheeks flushing pin as she moved her gaze to the window "I have _no_ idea what you're on about…"

"Is that why your skin is looking phenomenal at the moment?" I asked curiously, cocking my head to the side.

"Err…" she pointed at me "Firstly, look who's bashing out the long words, is this your word of the day calendar Harvey? And secondly, my skin has always been flawless, you just can't handle my natural beauty"

I threw my head back in laughter as I walked around to my desk, opening the top draw as I lifted out a small metal tin, popping it open as I pulled out a joint I confiscated from Mike ages ago, along with a cheap plastic lighter. I raised my eyebrows at her, holding the joint out, wordlessly asking if she wanted to make the evening just a little more interesting. I mean, I kind even remember the last time Donna and I had been so brutally honest with each other, let alone get absolutely shitfaced in the comfort of my office. She nodded as I put the cigarette in my mouth, raising my hands as I lit it. Inhaling deeply, my body instantly relaxed, remembering all the stupid times we had got high together over the years, pretending we were still stupid college kids. "Natural beauty? Is that why you rushed into the bathroom before I woke up the morning after that night to apply a fresh face of make up?"

"No I didn't!" she exclaimed, embarrassed, stealing the joint off me. "I was simply…brushing my teeth?"

"Bullshit!" I smirked, downing my drink as I grabbed another bottle of scotch from my secret stash whilst unbuttoning the top three buttons of my shirt, feeling hot. "I had made goddamn sure you worked off all that make up the night before. When you're with Harvey Specter, you break a sweat"

She clutched her sides, laughing, "The size of your ego is alarming. I wouldn't be surprised if you give yourself a pep talk before sex."

"At least I don't walk around with 'I just had sex' plastered all over my face. The only way you could be any more obvious would be if that Lonely Island and Akon was playing in the background wherever you went."

"I literally have no idea what you are talking about" she giggled, high as a kite.

I danced around the office to the music playing in the background, my body feeling light as I enjoyed feeling out of control temporarily. "You have a 'I got laid dress,'" I sang. She strutted towards me, well, more like stumbled as she swatted my arm playfully.

"That's ridiculous, I have no such thing!"

"You leave a grey dress at the office that you always wear when you haven't made it home the night before. Just like the other night when you rolled into work straight from Harry Style's place" I slurred, my fists balling at the very thought of that douche bag.

"Harry Styles? As in the kid from that British boy band that sleeps with all those older women?"

"Yep" I replied, popping the 'p' "You're new boy toy slash my new client looks like some boy band reject. Who knew you liked sleeping with children."

She spluttered out her drink as I took a drag, laughing at how hilarious I am, as she looked at me shell-shocked "Harvey! That's a disgusting thing to say! He's 27!"

"He's practically a foetus." I stated, standing my ground.

"At least I'm getting some."

"I could have anyone, anytime, fact."

"God!" she scoffed.

"It's Harvey, I find God a bit too formal"

She burst out into hysterics at my lame joke her face turning bright red as she continued to uncontrollably giggle. Looking at the crazy woman I couldn't help but laugh too, my laughter increasing as she stumbled over herself, falling into me with a loud 'umph'.

We were centimetres apart, our breathing laboured as our laughs subsided, our heads hazy from the intoxicating substances we had allowed into our bodies. Our eyes locked as we stared each other down with hardened expressions, waiting for the other one to break. My eyes flickered momentarily from her eyes to her lips as she shifted just a bit closer. I sucked in a breath, my heart rate increasing, most probably from the affects of the pot as I found myself leaning in, my balance faltering. Her eyes scanned my face, wordlessly asking me what I was doing. What was I doing? Granting that as permission I continued my slow descend towards her lips, the sound of my pulse echoing in my ears until I could feel her warm breath against my skin-

"HA!" she erupted into laughter, breaking away from our close proximity as she raised the burning joint that was in her hands to her lips, inhaling deeply. I stared at her blankly, wondering what the hell that just was. Did see even realise what the hell that just was? I plastered a fake smile across my face as I snatched the joint from her hands, taking a drag before stumping it out against my desk. I looked a Donna, her hair dishevelled, sprawled across the sofa in a fit of giggles, her mascara smudged from where she had been laughing so much a few tears escaped from her eyes. My lips curled into a smile at the sight of her, glad that we were somewhat back to being as normal and Donna and Harvey could be. "Oh you are SO into me" she squealed. Yep, definitely back too normal.

* * *

**Okay, I had SO much fun writing this chapter. I really hope you like it. Please tell me what you think; I adore hearing your opinions even if they are one or two words. When I updated yesterday I was absolutely shocked to see that I had 1200 views in a 24 hour time period, so amazing. Thank you. This week is majorly hectic for me, so the next update might be Wednesday, might be Thursday/Friday- motivate me! Have a great day guys!**

**PS. What do we think of Harvey in this chapter?!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Donna:**

"Why do we keep doing this?" I groaned into my bacon sandwich as my head felt like it had been run over by a freight train.

"We're too old for this shit," He agreed, staring absentmindedly at his cup of coffee.

I scoffed, flipping my disheveled hair over my shoulder "Speak for yourself Specter, I'm in my prime."

Harvey snorted, looking at me amused, a piece of bacon hanging loosely from his mouth. God, this man was sexy, how the hell am I not jumping his bones right now? "I think I'm still drunk."

I nodded very slowly "Preach! I am about 87% scotch and 13% bad life choices right now."

"Oh Donna" he replied softly "you don't give yourself enough credit. It's at least a 50/50 split'

He gave me a smug smile as I reached over the counter and slapped his arm playfully, my body scolding me for making such an impromptu movement, my muscles crying in agony.

"I hate you." I muttered as my head flopped to the counter, my messy hair falling in front of my eyes.

"That's such a lie, you think I'm sexy" I rolled my eyes, what a dork. I stretched my arms over my head as I let my eyes scan the kitchen, my gaze falling on the digital clock that was on the oven before, my stomach flipping uneasily.

"Holy fucking shit" I blurted out, causing both of us to wince at the volume

"What?" he asked semi confused and a little bit alarmed.

I looked at him with a panicked look upon my face "You know how we thought it was 6am and we were really proud of ourselves for getting up, let alone being alive at that time?"

"Yeah that was only like 20 minutes ago Donna, I'm hung over not senile"

"Yeah, well… that 6 is actually a 9. It's 9:20am and we're horrifically late to work" Harvey's eyes widened, as he looked at me for a few seconds trying to work out our next move. He shrugged as he finished the last bite of his sandwich, brushing his hands free from crumbs. "Harvey, one of us should really start getting our asses into gear, we're late!"

He groaned "I know but if I move, there's an incredibly high chance my head is going to explode into a million pieces and then you'd have to clean it up, and I'm just too nice to do that to you."

I raised my eyebrows, wow, someone was talking some A+ shit this morning "Such a charmer Specter, but I'm pretty sure Jessica will eat you alive if you don't show your face-"

"Beautiful face" he interrupted

"Ugly face in the office sometime soon." I finished, grabbing my phone from the other side of the kitchen counter.

"But my head hurts" he whined like a child, scrunching his face together.

"You do realise that you look like a pug when you do that..."

Harvey narrowed his eyes at me "Shut up. What does my schedule look like anyway?"

"Hmm" I opened up his appointments on my phone, squinting as the light from the screen threatened to destroy my retinas "Well you had an appointment with Louis at 9, but he's probably already in tears in the filing room by now… You have Mike's quarterly review at 12, a meeting with Ray Melissa at 3 and the end of week round up with Jessica at 5."

"So really I don't have to be at work till 3" Harvey concluded, hastily getting off the kitchen stool as he threw himself down on the sofa.

"No" I said as I walked over to him, pushing his legs off to accommodate my small frame. "12. You have to meet with Mike at 12"

"Nope, I'll text mike and make my excuses, he'll understand"

"That's all well and good for you, but at least one of us has to show their face at work today." I sighed; I didn't want to go to work today. Not only did I feel like an 18 year old with the worst hangover of my life, I also was more than okay with just lying in a dark, quiet room, regretting ever being born, until this throbbing inside my head decided to subside.

"Take the day off. I'll tell Jessica I sent you somewhere to find out some information for me."

I know I shamelessly love this man, but if I could love him anymore, this would be the moment, I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his body as I nestled my head into his neck "Thank you, thank you, thank you." He laughed as he accepted the hug, releasing me after a few seconds. My shoulders relaxed as a wave of relief washed over me "I don't think I would have survived today, I'm pretty sure I'm sweating scotch and I think the very sight of Louis' face would make me want to inflict serious bodily harm on someone or just myself."

"So, no different from usual then?" he questioned with a smile, grabbing the remote as he turned the TV on.

"Ugh, I should really go home and shower and sleep this off, but Brooklyn is such a long way away, and the sun is so bright, it wants me to die."

"Stay here" Harvey replied nonchalantly "There's still a few items of yours in my closet, go have a shower and then come here and join me, we can watch some shit TV and feel sorry for ourselves."

"Pity party for two!" I exclaimed excitedly, completely ignoring the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach regarding Harvey's invite to stay, I mean, I had already spent the night… No not like that, even though its not like it didn't cross my mind.

What can I say? I get a little handsy when I'm drunk. You try and control yourself when you have someone like Harvey Specter in front of you, intoxicated and willing to do pretty much anything. Besides, I had Nick, well, I was seeing Nick, I don't think it would be right to brand what we are just yet.

My mind wanted to jump off the sofa and skip happily into the shower instead my body reluctantly dragged itself across Harvey's apartment like a caveman into his bedroom and then his bathroom.

I choked on my own breath as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, damn, I did not look pretty. How would I describe how I currently looked? Well if you got a clown and a panda to procreate, the offspring would be me. I looked around his bathroom, noticing my toiletries were still where I left them, even though I had been gone a week. I bit my lip, why where they still here? I left on bad terms, we fought, he knew I wasn't coming back, there was no reason for me to come back, so why, why were they still here?

What about the girls he had brought back to his place since? What would they have thought? Well, I guess that's if he's had girls back to his place since. But this is Harvey Specter we're talking about, international ladies man. Of course he's had women back since.

* * *

**Harvey:**

I slung on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt has I heard the shower run before cancelling my appointments for the rest of the day. Donna didn't need to know, I would just tell her they rescheduled when the time came. Today I wanted to be normal and hang out with Donna. Did I have an ulterior motive? I'm not quite sure, but I'd like to say no…

I mean, Donna and I were back on track. Sure it was only a few days that I was in the doghouse but even one hour on Donna's bad side felt like an eternity. I wanted to spend the day with her, I wanted to have a day where it was just Donna and I, no pretending, no work, no distractions in the form of douchebag boyfriends, or whatever the fuck he was.

Why was I not man enough to go to work with a hang over and instead take the second personal day off in 2 weeks, more than I have taken off in two years, you ask? Because my mom made me realize that there are some things in life more important than work. Besides, the firm wouldn't collapse or burn down if I missed one day, and even if it did, that would be Mike's fault for sure. I had told Jessica that one of my clients was having a personal crisis and needed some urgent legal advice; she had no reason to doubt my word, even though it was a blatant lie.

I grabbed a spare blanket out of my closet and a couple of pillows off the bed as I created a comfy environment for Donna and I on the sofa, equip with several bottles of water, diet coke and a large bag of popcorn. I made myself comfortable on the sofa, ensuring that there was enough from for her, as I heard the shower shut off and the sound of her voice singing, filling my ears. I smiled as she sang a Beyoncé song from the bedroom, no doubt trying to impersonate 'Queen B' as she got changed.

"Comfy enough Specter?" My gaze moved to the sound of her voice as she leant against the doorframe wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of shorts, even though she had her own clothing lying around in my room.

"I should ask you the same thing? Are you going to make a habit of wearing my clothes?"

She smirked as she strutted towards me "well…" she started "they do look a lot better on me" she was right, they really do. I patted the space on the sofa next to me as she hopped under the covers, pressing the recliner as the footrest popped up.

"Ah, this is the life" she sighed in content, fidgeting in her seat as she made herself comfortable.

"So" I handed her the remote, opening up the list of films I had stored on my television hard drive, which was pretty much any good film in the history of film. I was a bit of a nerd when it came to movies, if you hadn't of guessed already. "We'll take turns to pick movies, every film on here is Harvey Specter approved"

She scrunched up her face, as she looked at me worried "these films are all legal and decent, right?"

I laughed "No promises."

* * *

"Okay, but street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones." I found myself quietly quoting alone as we watched Clueless. What? It was a good film, and of course Donna picked it after our game of 'who knew the other person better' the night before.

"It worries me how well you know this film" she spoke from beside me, now nuzzled next to me, head on my lap, which by the way, was testing my self control.

"You're just jealous that you cant quote this film" I retorted in defense

She scoffed " I don't think any other heterosexual male on the planet can quote this film"

"Whatever. I sleep with women"

"You don't have to tell me, Specter, i know all too well." she winked patting me on the knee. That she did.

"I know, just clarifying."

* * *

**Donna:**

I yawned as our second film- Turner and Hooch ended. I looked up to Harvey who was asleep, mouth open, snoring lightly. I smiled, wanting to take a picture at the adorable sight as a better idea popped into my head. Peeling myself away from him carefully I tiptoed towards the kitchen area, grabbing my cosmetic bag out of my purse. Slipping back in my previous position, I picked up the bottle of neon pink nail varnish, opening the lid quietly as I picked up Harvey's hand that was resting on his land. Holding his hand gently, I picked his little finger, carefully painting it. I nodded in accomplishment as I stared at the finished product, proud that I had managed to complete the task without interrupting Harvey. He would kill me, there was no doubt about it, as soon as he saw it, he would end me, but I didn't care. It would be worth it. Besides I was only helping him get in touch with his feminine side a little bit more after watching Clueless.

I snuggled up next to him, pushing the inappropriate thoughts out of my head as I closed my eyes, but they wouldn't go away. I know I was kind of seeing Nick, and I know that he's made me feel more content and more like a woman than any man has in years, but there was just something about this guy next to me that I couldn't ignore. Harvey Specter got inside your head, whether you liked it or not. And right now, I couldn't give a damn.

* * *

**Harvey:**

"I hate you." I smiled as Mike waltzed into my office, face like thunder, dressed in yet another one of his $500 suits.

"Why hello princess" I greeted as I leant back in my chair, putting down the baseball that was in my hand. It was 8pm and after blowing all my appointments to spend the day with Donna, and 7 sassy text messages from Mike later I finally decided to drag my ass into work to give Mike his goddamn proposal before the kid gave birth to a litter of kittens.

"This is the last time I cover for you. I saw you and Donna getting all kinds of fucked last night, that's why she was 'getting you information across town' and why you had to reschedule your meetings"

"Cut the dramatics Mike, remember I'm the one that covers for you on a daily basis. I'm here now so let's get to it." Mike rolled his eyes as he sat down. I slid a cartoon of Chinese over to him as his face lit up slightly, I was an ass for cancelling on him, but Chinese makes everything better. "So good news, you're not shit, you're above average and that's good enough for me." I concluded quickly, scribbling some notes down on his appraisal form.

"Can you seriously just tell me how I'm doing?"

"Look Mike, this isn't an exercise to boost your ego. If I thought you were underperforming you would have heard by now, because you would on the street. I'm not going to pat you on the back after every case or give you a treat when you behave. Just keep doing what you're doing and if you really want a pointer for improvement, buy a better suit. Seriously your suits make _me_ want to cry."

Mike looked down to his suit offended "What? This suit cost more than a months rent for me!"

I finished chewing my chow mein "Oh and I got you these" I reached into the top draw of my desk and pulled out two season tickets for the Knicks, best seats in the house "and when I say I got you these, I expect to have the other ticket"

Mike's face fell in shock before breaking out into a shit-eating grin, bouncing up and down in his chair like an excitable child. "Oh my god!" he whisper shouted grabbing the tickets, examining them to make sure they were real "This is, this is amazing…" he looked at me in disbelief "_thank you_"

"Alright, alright, let's not have an emotional moment here" Mike pursed his lips tightly together as he slipped a ticket into his bag, giving me the other

"Does this mean we're friends?"

"Don't push it" Of course we were, but I wasn't going to admit that, I had a reputation to maintain.

"Harvey, what's that?" I looked at him confused as he stared towards my hands with a puzzled expression upon his face. I followed his gaze, my eyes widening in shock.

"Donna" I muttered to myself. That bitch! When the hell did she do that? I stared at the bright pink neon nail on my little finger, trying to keep a straight face.

"Donna?" mike echoed my response, even more confused. "You let Donna paint your nails? Does this mean you two are okay now or was this some drunken act of revenge?"

"We're fine"

"Can I make an observation?" he asked, popping a sweet and sour chicken ball into his mouth.

"No" I put my chopsticks down as I gave him a firm look.

He shook his head, rolling his eyes "I'm gonna say it anyway. In any other capacity, as in, if you guys didn't work together, you two would make a totally awesome couple." It took all my restraint to not jump over the desk and strangle the kid as I took a few deep breaths, my expression turning to stone.

"But we're not" I replied, attempting to put an end to the conversation.

"But you would like to...?"

"Mike…" I warned, getting irritated. If he wanted to lose those season tickets, he was going the right way about it.

He threw his hands up defensively " I know its none of my business but I'm just saying, she's hot, she gets you, hell she's a fricking saint, if I weren't with Rachel…"

"You're right it's none of your business" I interrupted, not wanting to know where that conversation was going to end. I did not want mental images of Mike and Donna in my head, I felt sick enough as it is.

"Plus that Nick guy is a major douche" Well, I agree with him there.

"Mike why are we talking about this?" he was digging at something and I wasn't in the mood to play games.

"It's the firms Halloween party next week and Rachel and I thought it would be cool if we went as a gang, you know, maybe even did some couples costumes."

"Get out." I ordered, I had heard enough, we were not a 'gang'.

"Harvey!"

"Mike get out." Mike rolled his eyes as he gathered his things, snatching his carton of food off of the desk.

"It wouldn't do you any harm to just loosen up for once in your life Harvey. Who knows, you may even have fun" I watched as he walked out the office as I grabbed my laptop, opening the screen to check my inbox. Sure enough there was a group email from Jessica regarding the Pearson Specter Halloween party next Friday, attendance and fancy dress compulsory. I didn't do fancy dress and I certainly didn't so crappy parties.

There is no way in hell, I'm going to this.

* * *

**Donna**

Don't ask me why I'm still here, I don't know, okay? I should have left a long time ago, I shouldn't have really stayed the night, but hey ho, a bottle of scotch doesn't usually lead to good life choices, especially for me. I found myself once again snooping through Harvey's apartment. It was bad, I know but the man was a mystery, I just wanted to know a little bit more. I let myself back into his office, determined to not snoop around picture frames at the risk that I may find some more photos of myself, and who knows what they'll be of.

Trust me, I've done some thing in my 35 years that I'm not proud of, especially in front of a camera, but that wasn't my fault, that was Sangria's fault.

I scanned his bookshelf, rolling my eyes at the numerous autobiographies from various powerful individuals, knowing that Harvey secretly wished his name was up there with them. The life of Harvey Specter- The best closer in the City. I could see it now, and unfortunately I knew I'd be first in line to get a signed copy.

"Jackpot!" I exclaimed finding his old high school yearbook, yanking it off the shelf as I began to flick through the numerous pages. Oh, the late 1990's were not a good time for Harvey Specter's hair. I held back a laugh as I got my phone out of my pocket, taking a photo of Harvey, aged 18 with _the_ most ridiculous hairstyle I had ever seen. Was it a mullet? Was it a mop? Who the fuck knows. All I know is that this hairstyle belongs in the hall of shame, and should never be modeled by a living human being ever again. I rolled my eyes at his yearbook photo tagline "_New York City's future number one lawyer"_. God even then his ego was the size of Florida. I continued flicking through the book until I reached photos from the senior year prom.

"What the? No way!" my jaw fell open as I was confronted with a double page spread of Harvey and some gorgeous blonde as Prom King and Queen. How did I not know that?! I nodded in approval as I noticed Harvey had ditched the horrific hairstyle in time for the photo, sporting a shorter look that no doubt made the girls fight over him. I couldn't help but wonder who the blonde on his arm was, they looked like they were friends at the very least, hugging and smiling with one another, well that was until I saw the photo in the bottom corner of the second page. The two of them kissing. Even at the young age of 18, Harvey Specter was already dating drop dead gorgeous women, whereas I went to senior prom with the laughing stock of the school, but that's a story I'll save for a rainy day.

Stuffing the yearbook back on the shelf I exited the office, turning on my spotify on my phone as I danced around his apartment. Throwing my arms in the arm like a mad man I swayed along to the music wishing that I lived in a place like this. No disrespect to my one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn but Harvey's en-suite bathroom was the size of my kitchen and living room combined, and that made a little sad. I mean, Harvey has a walk in wardrobe for crying out loud! I have at least twenty times the amount of clothes and shoes than he does and I manage to shove it all in a small wardrobe and in many, many, _many_, boxed under my bed. Perhaps Harvey would be interested in a house swap, but we would continue paying rent for our own places of course…

Did Harvey even pay rent? He probably paid in cash… or gold…

Damn Harvey Specter.

My crazed dancing was rudely interrupted my a ping from my phone, indicating that I had a new email. Singing to myself out loud, I opened the email, my face breaking out into a grin as I read the content.

"PEARSON SPECTER HALLOWEEN PARTY!" I practically shouted to myself. This was perfect. I loved a party, if you hadn't already of guess, and a party where I can dress up and pretend to be somebody else? Even better. I lunged for Harvey's MacBook, excited like a kid at Christmas, I was going to look so fucking hot.

* * *

**Harvey:**

I yawned as I entered my apartment, ready to throw myself on my bed and pass out for the rest of the night that was until I saw the sleeping beauty sprawled in a rather interesting position on my sofa. With one leg on the headrest, the other dangling off the chair and her head somewhere in between, I looked in amusement as she slept peacefully, mouth open. Slipping my jacket off my shoulders I grabbed the folded piece of paper out of my pocket containing the email invitation to the firms Halloween party. If I had to go, and after receiving an ear full from Jessica, I was pretty sure I had to, I was going to find a plus one I could stand, and my brain instantly screamed Donna. No one would say anything, in fact it made the most sense, and we were guaranteed to have a laugh together.

I gently shook her as she stirred; her eyes fluttering open as a small smile spread across her lips, her eyes locking with mine. "Opps" she said whilst yawning "I was planning on going home I promise, but I got too caught up looking at Halloween costumes." She sat up, brushing her hair out of her face as she showed me a page full of costume ideas on the computer screen, each picture a little more provocative than the last. Okay, I was definitely going to have a good time with Donna.

"Trust you to already be searching away"

"We have less than a week, and I need to look amazing, like not just 'average day Donna amazing' I mean 'whoa look at that girl, she should be in a sexy version of vogue' amazing."

I shook my head as I laughed at spiel "Mike was talking about the four of us going together, Rachel as his plus one obviously, and you as mine?" I suggested, not really knowing a better way to approach the subject without it sounding a little odd.

"Oh" her face fell a little bit, "that sounds like a great idea, but…I kind of already invited Nick as my plus one, I hope you don't mind…" she bit her lip, scared that she had just offended me.

I shrugged, trying to hide my disappointment, and annoyance that once again this idiot was showing his face where it wasn't wanted "of course, I forgot."

"You could always invite Scottie or Zoe or even Catrina if you have trouble…" she suggested, trying to be helpful.

"Yeah, good idea…" Not going to happen.

* * *

Saturday had rolled around all too quickly and I was thankful for it, I finally had a day to myself where I could just run, relax and not worry about work or anything else for that matter. Taking my usual route through central park, I smiled contently as I raced past several dog walkers, trying to beat my personal best, and trying to get to my destination a little quicker. Saturday, of course, is also Donna's Central Park day, and if my timing were correct I would bump into her any minute now.

A smile erupted on my face as I finally spotted that head of ginger hair that I had been searching for, she was here, just like I expected. I was going to make myself known; I was going to say hi. I slowed my pace down, wiping the sweat off my face as I prepared what to say, when my feet came to a complete stand still. I watched as someone sat beside her on the bench, handing her, her Saturday morning vanilla latte. I gulped, muscles clenching as Mr. Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys circa 2000 kissed her on the lips. God I hated this guy. I retracted a few steps, fully aware that I was standing in the middle of the pavement staring at two people with a displeased expression upon my face. I should have ran away, my mind was screaming at me, telling me to just continuing running, but my body wouldn't let me. Everything about the scene in front of me pissed me off. The guy was a no good low life who wanted to destroy a man's life because he was more clever than him. He was just another spoilt kid who had no business sense whatsoever and was merely concerned with the material luxuries and power that came with having CEO after your name. Why couldn't Donna see that? She was usually such a good judge of character, why hadn't she seen through his bullshit and got rid of his ass the first second she met him? What did she even see in him?

I mean, I was better looking, successful and funny than he could ever aspire to be, in comparison to me, he was a damn right peasant. Sure he had more money tied up in various trust funds and accounts but at least I earn my millions, I doubt this kid even knows what a hard days work is. I stuffed my headphones back into my ears as I turned away, picking up my pace as I gained distance on the sickening scene I had witnessed.

There was no way that this kid was coming to the firm Halloween party, there had to be some rule about clients attending firm functions and if there wasn't, I sure as hell was going to create one.

**So I'll let you into a little secret, I've kind of planned this story out completely now. Now, I need your opinion here, I have two versions, one version ends with 18 chapters, the other has more chapters. Let me know which one you'd prefer! I am so excited to write the rest of this story; I have so many crazy wonderful things coming your way. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, so happy you liked the last chapter- it was my favorite to date, keep up the lovely reviews, or negative reviews i dont mind, criticism helps me improve.**

**So this was the longest chapter yet, 5000 words. I wrote this in about 3 hours so i have no idea if it makes sense, but its the foundation for some pretty sweet chapters ahead. And before you guys question it- they near kiss from last chapter will be spoken about, just not yet. Show me lots of love and i'll hit you with a update tomorrow, if not it'll most probably be Sunday/Monday as work have me working 16 hours on Sat! xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Donna:**

There is no way I'm going to fit in this, in fact I have more chance in hell of winning every lottery in the world, than getting my ass in this costume. Why did I even think that this would be a good idea? Well besides the fact that the a slinky leather ensemble would not only cling to my every curve to perfection, but would knock the wind out of every man going to this forsaken party tonight, including Harvey.

Three days, _three days_ since this costume arrived at my door thanks to the incredibly attractive UPS driver and for three days I have consumed nothing but foul colored juices. You know the ones that look like sewage water, kind of taste like sewage water but apparently contain so much goodness that you are convinced that you will be a supermodel in a matter of days. Has it turned me into a Victoria's secret model, you ask? No. Instead it has turned me into an extremely grouchy woman who craves a five guys burger, a large pinkberry and just generally anything that is a carbohydrate. Zipping the clothes carrier up I shove the costume under my desk as I see Harvey approaching me, an unusually genuine smile spread across his lips.

"Good morning Donna!" he chimes, setting a coffee down on my desk in front of me, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling my nose causing me to let out a content sigh. Raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow in question I narrow my eyes slightly, looking at Harvey as if he had just grown a second head.

"…Hi" I replied slowly, unsure of how to react to a happy Harvey. Okay, I mean it's not like Harvey has never been happy in the 10 years I've known him, but I've never seen him smile, _with teeth,_ unless he had just won a big case, and it's only 9am so there's no way he's done that yet. He's good, but I presume even Harvey Specter has his limitations.

"Are you looking forward to the party tonight?! Should be fun!" Okay now I'm officially worried. Harvey hates work functions and he hates commercialized holidays, you could call him the year round Grinch it was that bad.

"Are you drunk?" I asked "Is there scotch in that cup and not coffee?" he popped open the coffee lid to show me the latte inside "…Are you high?"

He threw his head back, letting out a laugh "no I'm not, besides you and I both know that coffee cart guy doesn't work on Friday's"

"Then you clearly got laid." I concluded, it was the only other option I could come up with, besides a serious head injury causing him to act this way, and I don't see any blood or brains…

He perched himself on my desk, taking a sip of his coffee "Nope. I'll have you know, that this gentleman hasn't taken a lady home in nearly a month, well besides you and we both know how that ended."

I choked on my mouthful of coffee, my eyes going wide, my jaw dropping…what? "I'm sorry?" perhaps I didn't hear him right, I mean it was still early and I didn't get much sleep last night…

He sat up proud "I've stopped slutting it around"

I shook my head, pushing my chair away from my desk slightly as I got a better look at him "I don't believe you. There is no way _the _Harvey Specter has given up women. You must be ill"

"Why is it so hard to believe?" his face fell slightly, sounding slightly offended.

"Because you're…you. You love women, you love sex and you love the combination of the two on a one off basis."

"People can change, Donna"

It was my turn to laugh, and a sarcastic laugh at that "people can change, but Harvey Specter cant."

I watched as he pursed his lips together tightly and nodded, the previous sparkle in his eyes disappearing. He jumped off my desk, handing me a file of papers that needed sorting out "I'll see you at the party, Donna"

I frowned as he walked into his office, instantly regretting the words that had just escaped my mouth. Maybe I was a tad harsh, but how else was I meant to react? Harvey was one of New York City's most prolific ladies men; anyone would have reacted in a similar way. I sighed, turning back towards my computer screen as an incoming email from Jessica popped up in my inbox titled "Regarding Halloween Party tonight".

I clicked open the email and began to read, my face falling further with each word. What the fuck? I wanted to throw my cup of coffee across the room, how could Jessica decide something like this at the last minute, and why does it feel so personal towards me?

* * *

**Harvey:**

_People can change, but Harvey Specter can't._

I stormed into my office, throwing myself down on the chair as I opened my laptop, pissed at Donna for what she said. Everyone has the ability to change, except me? What does that even mean? First she interrogates me over being in a good mood, the next thing I know she's casually insulting me. But I wasn't the victim here, in fact, I'm the one in the wrong, and that's why I was, and I am extremely happy.

With every meeting I had with Nick, or sighting of him with Donna I found it harder and harder to not lose my shit. The guy is a tool, and I'm 97.8% sure I think that because he's dating Donna. He just gets under my skin. From his face and his mane that looks like pubic hair glued to his head, to his nasally voice, his shiny suits to the way he demands public displays of affection from Donna in the middle of the office, Nick was a fucking tool. Perhaps he had brainwashed Donna, or maybe she was losing her mind, either way, this guy was not cut out for her. Donna has standards and she's always prided herself on that, so why, why had she settled for the first guy with bright blue eyes to fall at her feet? Didn't she know that there were hundreds of men who would give their right arm just to take her on one date?

So, like I do, I played God. I took matters into my own hands. Maybe she wouldn't see it from my point of view right away, but later on down the line, she'll thank me for helping her dodge a Nick shaped bullet. So as managing partner I expressed how uncomfortable I felt towards the prospect of having clients attend the party, afraid that seeing us intoxicated or not in our professional persona would put Pearson Specter at risk of consequence. Jessica agreed, and that's why I'm currently sitting at my desk watching Donna's face fall as she read the email addressed to all staff.

No one is allowed to bring a plus one to the party if they are past, present or future clients, or have any conflict with Pearson Specter and any of their cases. To summarise, you can bring each other, and a random off the street.

Do I feel bad that Donna is now dateless and that I pretty much ruined her evening? Yeah of course I do. But am I happy that I don't have to see Nick's face there? Of course. Watching her discretely, Donna grabs her cell phone and calls Nick, my fingers turning the intercom on so I could eavesdrop on her side of the conversation.

_"__Hi babe, I have some bad news." _Babe? She call's him babe? Well, I guess he does kind of look like that pig from that movie.

_"__It's about tonight, Jessica has sent round an email stating that no one who has a conflict of interest regarding the firm can come as a plus one to the party… I know, it's shit, I was so looking forward to it." _Silence as I watched her nod and shake her head several times.

_"__No I don't think Harvey had anything to do with it, he wouldn't do that." _I closed my eyes, letting the guilt wash over me _"I told you before Nick, Harvey is my friend, that's all, you have nothing to worry about" _I'm sorry, what now? Donna and Nick had discussed me before? Did Nick feel threatened by mine and Donna's relationship? God, they've only been seeing each other a couple of week's, no one likes a cling on. "_I'll call you later, okay? Bye." _

I quickly switched off the intercom and pretended to be working as Donna ended the call. "I'm going to the roof if you need me" she said through the intercom, gathering her purse before abandoning her desk. I watched her walking away, determined that by the end of the night, I'd be the one to put that beautiful smile of hers back on her face.

* * *

"Thanks for letting me get ready at yours" I rolled my eyes at Mike who was lounging on my sofa, beer in hand, already dressed up and ready to go.

"You do realise that you sound like a 16 year old girl right now? No body does this Mike, and if anyone asks, I picked you up on the way" I finished buttoning up my shirt, purposefully leaving the last undone, allowing the blue lycra to poke through. Running my hand through my hair, which for once in my life was not gelled and slicked back, I put on a pair of thick-framed novelty glasses and nodded to myself, impressed.

"Harvey, wearing a suit and a pair of glasses does not count as a costume, you going to the party in track pants would be more of a costume" I rolled my eyes and turned around to show Mike that what I was wearing wasn't _just _a suit. "Whoa!" he exclaimed, knocking back his beer "That's awesome, you look so much like him"

I nodded in agreement, I looked good. Everyone would think so, everyone including Donna, I hope.

"And what exactly are you supposed to be?" I asked, looking him confused as I took a swig of beer.

"I'm Jack Sparrow, you know, from Pirates of the Caribbean!" he stood up and did a twirl.

"You look homeless." I stated, eyeing up the matted dreadlock wig he was wearing.

"I look great. Rachel is going as the Keira Knightley character, we're going to look awesome"

I gave him a thumbs up and a sarcastic smile "A couples costume, how cute."

"You're just jealous, hey, what is Donna going as?" Well done Mike, you successfully lasted an hour and a half in my company before mentioning Donna, that's a new record for you.

I shrugged "I have no idea" but that didn't mean I hadn't thought of all the possibilities, because I had, multiple times.

"I bet it's epic. Donna was telling me the other day about how much she loves Halloween and all the crazy things she's done in the past, who knew Donna was such a party animal"

Me. I did… I sure did, and I loved it. My phone buzzed on my counter as I opened up the text from Ray, letting me know that he was outside waiting for us. "Come on princess, Ray is downstairs waiting for us"

"Hey Harvey, do you think I need to put a little more eyeliner on?"

"Just get in the car Mike before I make you walk."

* * *

The car journey to the hotel was long enough for Mike and I to consume another 3 beers each, meaning that I was sufficiently tipsy, and Mike was already talking more shit than usual when we rolled into the hotel. "Wow" Mike breathed taking in the impressive decorating that the team Jessica hired had put together in a short matter of hours "this place looks amazing! Oh my god, Harvey look at that!" I followed his gaze as he pointed at the ribbon acrobatics dangling from the ceiling. Mike looked in awe, like a little kid in a toy shop as he gazed at all he performers and entertainers around the place, as I wondered just how much Jessica had blown on this party.

Dragging Mike to the open bar I ordered us two more beers and a shot of tequila each, having every intention of finding out what Mike Ross is like blind drunk to the point where his legs give out on him. Passing Mike his drinks, he downed the shot before I had a chance to even count to three, his face scrunched up in disgust as the burning sensation slipped down his throat. "Tequila, really?" Mike groaned, wiping his lips "where's your class Harvey?"

But I was too preoccupied to reply, necking my drink as my eyes scanned the crowd for the familiar face I longed to see. "Rachel said she might not come you know" I snapped my head back to Mike, well, that got my attention.

"What?"

Mike nodded, body swaying to the music "she text me on our way over here saying that Donna wasn't feeling up for it now Nick couldn't come."

"Oh" was all I was able to say, deciding that alcohol consumption was the better option.

"Funny how Nick got banned, a little crazy in fact…"

"Yeah, Jessica instated a no douchebag allowed rule, shame she made an exception for Louis"

We both erupted in laughter at the sight of Louis, his fuller figure unforgivingly hugged by black lycra "Is he seriously supposed to be bat man?" Mike asked through fits of laughter

"God knows, he looks like he ate batman"

"I heard that he's got another costume at the ready to change into, you know, to mix it up later on" Mike nudged me as I stared at Louis in disbelief; the guy was honestly something else.

"Oh Rachel just text, she'd here, act casual" Mike straightened himself out as he leant against the bar acting 'casual' yet looked a little constipated instead. "Seriously though, do I need to put on more eyeliner?"

* * *

**Donna:**

"Rachel help me out of this taxi, now" I whined as the leather outfit stuck to the leather seating of the cab, this was embarrassing. She laughed as she grabbed my hands, pulling me forward, out of the cab and onto the street. I attempted to stretch my limbs as I steadied myself on the brand new pair of black patent louboutin's I had purchased, courtesy of Harvey Specter's credit card of course.

"Ugh I cant breathe" I grabbed hold of Rachel's arm as we entered the hotel, the cat suit so tight against my body it could have easily been mistaken as a second skin.

"But you look hot as hell Donna. Trust me, everyone is going to have a heart attack at the very sight of you"

"Everyone?" I questioned. Did everyone really mean _everyone_?

"Yes! Even Harvey is going to be a shuddering heap on the floor when he sees you. Girl, even I'm finding it hard not to jump your bones right now"

I giggled, happy at her answer as the bottle and a half of wine I had consumed before we left my apartment took its effect. "This place looks amazing, I don't even want to know how much Harvey and Jessica spent on this."

"Do you think Harvey knows that half of this is coming out of his wallet?" Rachel asked.

"God no! And don't tell him, Jessica swore me to secrecy"

We entered the main function area where the room was already packed with partners, associates and mail room staff having a wail of a time, my eyes scanning the crowd for the two men we had planned to meet.

My eyes locked on Harvey who was standing by the bar, chatting to Mike with a beer in his hand and a smile on his face. I checked out his costume, my heart racing at the sight of him, my cheeks flushing red. Oh god, I had had a dream about this, and when I say a dream, I mean a dirty fantasy and he knows that. I drunkenly told him that once. He was Clark Kent, as in Superman. He was wearing a grey form fitting suit with a crisp white shirt button up half way, with just enough undone to expose the superman costume that was underneath. I bit my lip as I examined his face, his usually slicked back hair, free from product, not only making him look 5 years younger but also…softer, his eyes framed by a pair of thick rimmed glasses. He looked great.

Oh who the hell am I trying to convince here? He looked fucking hot. If I didn't have an x-rated dream about this tonight, then there must be something seriously wrong with me.

"Wow, Harvey looks hot" Rachel nudged me, eyeing up my boss and completely overlooking her boyfriend who was standing right next to him.

"Y-yeah, Harvey looks good" I agreed, stumbling over my words as I struggled to form coherent sentences whilst looking at him.

"Let's go over there, come on!" That's if I'm not a puddle of hormones and sexual frustration before I get there.

* * *

**Harvey"**

"Oh my fucking god, how hot does Rachel look" I rolled my eyes as Mike grabbed me my the shouters, forcing my body around to face the entrance where Rachel stood, hair cascading down her back dressed in an old fashioned grown, intricately embroidered that was corseted around the waist, accentuating everything else. She admittedly did look beautiful, but she was Mike's girl, and she was far too young and bossy for my liking. I looked away to take a swig of my beer as Mike started to relentlessly hit me on the arm once more, "Donna! OH MY GOD, look at Donna! Holy fucking shit."

My head snapped around at the speed of light, as I looked directly next to Rachel, a lump forming in my throat, feeling like I was about to pass out. "Fuck" I muttered out loud unable to tear my eyes away from the woman approximately 50 meters away from me. I couldn't move, I was glued to the ground, frozen in place, with the bottle millimetres away from my lips. "Wow". She was wearing a full body leather cat suit, zipped down to show just enough cleavage to cause me and every other hot blooded male in this room to drool. Her hair was in lose curls, a pair of small black cat ears resting on her head, her eyes breath-taking highlighted by what I can only presume is a pair of fake eyelashes. She looked incredible. If I had been feeling guilty about banning Nick before, I sure as hell didn't now, there was no way that I would share _this._ She smiled widely as she locked eyes with us, dragging Rachel by the hand, through the crowds. Neither Mike nor I had moved, our jaws still on the floor.

"Hey guys!" Rachel exclaimed, throwing herself towards Mike who looked like a horny teenager who had never seen a real life girl before.

"Donna" I breathed, passing her a drink as I gave her the once over, again. "You look…" I was at a loss for words, no words could do her current appearance justice, I mean, and since when did she have a body like that? "You look, phenomenal, wow"

She blushed, looking away momentarily, her overly confident demeanour disappearing for a few seconds before composing herself "You say that like you're surprised…"

I grinned "And they must be the shoes that I didn't buy…" I observed, looking at her feel.

"How did you know…"

"Because there's only one woman in my life who knows my bank details and has the balls to use them."

"Would you forgive me if I told you that you looked very dashing this evening?"

"I forgot you were such a fan of Clark Kent" I winked as she hit my arm playfully.

"You did this on purpose!?" she asked in disbelief, her mouth forming into an 'o' shape. I smiled sweetly, finishing my beer as I looked at her innocently.

"I have _no _idea what you're talking about"

"Donna you look hot!" Mike exclaimed as he threw his arm around Donna, pulling her close. She gave him an uneasy smile, bursting into laughter at the realisation of how drunk he was already.

"Harvey, how much alcohol have you given the kid?"

"Not enough. Who knew the kid could talk even more shit when drunk"

"Hey!" he exclaimed, breaking away from Donna's grip as he stumbled towards me, trying to look offended " You love me Harvey Reginald Specter, everyone says you think of me as a son"

Both Rachel and Donna burst into laughter, as I looked at Mike unimpressed, pushing him away, causing him to stumble back into the bar. "Michael Specter" Donna mused, chuckling into her drink as I shot her a death glare.

"I'm a lawyer, I could change my name legally to Mike Specter"

"Rachel take him away before I do something I probably won't regret."

* * *

**Donna:**

"Can I please have a rum and coke and a beer please!" I shouted across the bar to the barman as I turned back towards Harvey, "Please can you take the suit off, I really want to see what's underneath"

He laughed, shaking his head. God knows how much time had passed, but we lost Rachel and Mike shortly after saying our hello's meaning that Harvey was blessed with my amazing company for the evening, and as per usual, we were getting drunk. I grabbed our drinks, popping the straw into my mouth,

"How the hell do you go to the toilet in that thing?" Harvey asked, giving me the once over "I mean it's ridiculous."

"It takes a lot of will power, drunken tears, curses and wishes of death but its manageable." There was a hidden zip, but I wasn't about to tell Harvey that. I found him staring at my cleavage shamelessly "My eyes are up here, Specter"

"He smirked, embarrassed that he had been caught out "sorry, you just look really good in that outfit."

"As you keep saying Harvey! Gosh, anyone would think you're having a hard time keeping it in your pants around me tonight" I joked "is that why you've still got the suit on, or is it because the lycra wouldn't leave much to the imagination, and would highlight your…downfalls"

Harvey looked at me offended "_excuse me_. I do not have downfalls, especially in that region, you should know that."

I cocked my head to the side, leaning against him, drink in hand "I don't know Specter, it's been a long time since I've seen the sergeant, my mind could have failed to remember it in its correct scale."

Harvey raised his eyebrows in shock as he took my drink out of my hand, placing it on the bar before wrapping arm around my waist and dragging me into the middle of the dance floor. "Are you trying to get me to show you my junk, Donna?"

I shrugged, it's gone through my mind approximately 4 million, 6 thousand times, so I don't see why it has to be any different now. "Hmmm" I wrapped my arms around his neck, dancing to the music, eyes closed. "Maybe not, I don't want to have my expectations dashed" he grabbed my arms from around his neck and put them to my side. I opened my eyes as he looked at me determined.

He slid off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor as his fingers slowly worked on his buttons, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. Oh my god this was actually my fantasy turning into some weird voyeurism reality, and I wasn't complaining. My heart was racing in my chest and my body was giving away clear tell tale signs that I was enjoying this show.

"What the…" I muttered as the shirt went. His fingers went to his zipper as he slowly unzipped it, as I gulped harshly. He knew what he was doing, he knew the affect this was having on me. "Oh lord" I watched helplessly as the trousers fell to the ground, leaving him in only the Superman lycra one piece, hugging every inch of him to perfection.

I wanted to throw up, I wanted to die. It was just too much for me to handle, he was physical perfection embodied. My face was bright red as he had attracted quite the crowd, including Mike and Rachel who were looking at me in shock, Louis who cried out "Oh c'mon" before storming off and Jessica who had her arms crossed, starting appreciatively.

"Does this clear up any uncertainty?" he asked as I tried my best not to let my eyes travel south, but it was no use. Why wasn't there a drink in my hand right now? Oh god.

"I-I err… well…okay… yeah" I stumbled over my words, impressed that I was still standing. "I was right, it doesn't leave much to the imagination"

"You don't need to imagine Donna, all you have to do is ask" Stop, please stop the torture. My body cant take much more, one more suggestive comment and I would be on the floor convulsing in pleasure. I thanked the powers above as a waiter walked past us with a tray of champagne, my hands desperately grabbing two flutes as I downed them in a matter of seconds, my body instantly relaxing.

"Want to dance?" I asked quickly, putting the flutes on another passing tray.

"Sure" he replied, pulling me closer, in fact, flush against his body. Ohhhh boy. I bit my lip to the point where I was convinced it was bleeding as several songs passed, the two of us pressed up against each other getting lost in the music.

"What the fuck is this?" I was knocked out of my semi drunken haze at the sound of a familiar voice. I broke out of Harvey's grip as we turned around to see Nick standing, staring at us, with an unimpressed look on his face.

"Nick, what are you doing here?" I asked, my words slurring slightly.

"I was here to see you, I thought screw the rules, if I wanted to see you, I would. But it looks like you've found someone else to keep you company" his gaze burned into Harvey who had his arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders, pulling me tight against his body.

"What? No, Harvey and I were just dancing, that' all"

"Really?" he asked sarcastically, clearly a little drunk himself "Because I don't know about you but that's not how co-workers act."

"We're friends" Harvey piped up.

"Friends? Dude, you must think I'm fucking stupid if I'm going to buy that lame excuse off you."

I was too drunk for this, I had had too many rum and cokes to even begin to comprehend Nick's presence, words or generally giving a shit. "Nick, we're friends, like Harvey said, just friends."

"Donna" he shook his head at me, his expression softening ever so slightly "that may be what you believe, but I see how this guy" he indicates to Harvey " looks at you, there's nothing platonic or friendly about it."

"I think you should calm down…" Harvey spoke up again as I just looked at him confused, how did Harvey look at me? I mean always with two eyes but other than that, I am dumbfounded.

Nick laughed " I am calm, Specter, I knew that you had something to do with this all. You're the reason I'm banned"

"Get over yourself Fields. Arrogant douche." Harvey muttered.

"If I didn't need your help bringing down the loser who stole my algorithms I would punch you in the face right now" Nick seethed.

"Well let me save you the hassle of having an emotional break down, I'm firing you. Go find another equally egotistically, delusional man child to represent you because you don't have shit."

Nick scoffed, his face going red as he turned his attention to me "Do you know what? The two of you deserve each other" I stood in silence, unable to keep up with what was happening as he turned to walk away "Oh and Donna?" he piped up, looking over his shoulder " You're not even that hot."

My face fell at his words as I blinked several times, a stray tear falling from my eyes. "Oh man I hate being an emotional drunk" I sniffed as Harvey grabbed my shoulders, turning me around to face him.

"You know he's talking shit, right?" Of course I know he was talking shit, Harvey and I were friends, nothing more, never would be, and now once again I'm single and getting older and uglier by the second. "You're beautiful" he wiped the tear from my eye with the pad of this thumb, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. I looked down, letting my hair fall in front of my face to cover the heat that was running to my cheeks.

"No I'm not" I slurred sadly. He wrapped his muscular arms around me, swaying me slowly along to the music as I looked up at him.

"I'm Harvey Specter, and I'm always right, and I say that you're beautiful"

"You're drunk" I concluded, letting my head rest against his chest.

"Not really."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"Why do you keep me around?" I didn't look up at him because I was scared of what his face might portray or the words that may escape his lips.

"What sort of question is that?"

I shrugged against him, the sound of his heart faster than usual beat soothing as we continued to sway. "I don't know, I just wanted to know why you've stuck around all this time and no one else has."

"I could say the same for you."

I looked up at him and smiled, "Do you think you'll be into me just as much when my boobs head south and my ankles expand?"

He chuckled, brushing a strand of hair away from my eyes before replying "of course. Do you think you'll still be into me when I'm grey and my eyebrows are unruly."

"Hmm" I pondered "Probably not. Mike would have reached his prime by then, I'll probably try my luck with him"

Harvey rolled his eyes "Way to kill a moment, Donna."

* * *

**Sorry it took so long to update, work killed me this weekend. So thanks for your responses, it was a mixed bag so I'm just going to figure out what's best for the story. A couple of you said you'd stop reading, that's a shame you feel that way but who am I to tell you what to do. Some of you also hate my style of writing, once again that's okay to think that. I'm not a professional. I work 70 hours a week, go to university and manage to frequently update for you, which usually means I write this in the middle of the night. Anyway, tell me what you thought of this chapter, thanks to everyone for reading. I have a couple of days off this week so show me the love and I'll update Thursday **


	14. Chapter 14

**Donna:**

Eavesdropping is bad, I know that, but when you're having an extremely slow day in the office and you've already completed all tasks you had set out for you, and more by 11am, what else is a girl to do? I absentmindedly stared at the computer screen as I attempted to discretely listen to all of Harvey's phone calls. I know, I know, it's an invasion of privacy, but I was in desperate need for gossip, big fat juicy gossip.

Had I found out anything good as of yet? No, well besides Mike has had a dodgy hair cut, and Louis has become even more desperate to swap Norma for me. What can I say? I'm Donna, i'm in high demand.

I tapped my fingers excitedly against the desk as Harvey's phone went off once again, as I pressed the connect button "Good Afternoon, Pearson Specter, Harvey Specter's office, this is Donna, how can I help?"

"Donna!" the voice gushed on the other end of the line as I froze, my eyes going wide, I knew that voice, I swear I knew that voice…

"Hello" I replied, unsure of who I was speaking too

"How are you dear? I'm so disappointed we didn't have the chance to say goodbye properly when I left town last month." Oh, OH. It was Harvey's mom. Well, this is awkward.

"I'm so sorry" I bit my lip "life has a habit of throwing curveballs, especially in my direction" it wasn't a lie, it didn't go into too much detail, I think it was an adequate response.

"Don't worry Donna, we can catch up soon enough!" Ah yes, about that… "Is Harvey about, I need to ask him something"

"Sure, I'll just put you through, nice speaking to you Mrs Specter"

"How many times do I have to tell you, its Ruth" I quickly pressed the hold button before pressing the intercom to Harvey's office where he was sitting casually on his sofa reading a case file. I watched Harvey set down his case file to look at me, giving me an expression that read 'do I really have to get this call?'. I nodded as he reluctantly got off the sofa and walked towards the phone.

"Who is it?" he voice came through the intercom, sounding a little short tempered, but then again, I guess that could be easily mistaken as Harvey's usual tone.

"It's your mom"

"She knows not to ring me on my work line, unless its an emergency…" his face fell a little as the words escaped his lips, quickly disconnecting me and picking up the call from him mother. I listened into the conversation carefully, knowing that it wasn't really my place, but if Harvey was about to be bombarded with bad news, I wanted to be able to mentally prepare to deal with the downfall.

"Mom, are you okay?" he blurted out In a hurry, sitting himself down at his desk.

_"__I'm fine honey, i-"_

"Then why are you ringing work, you know that work is for emergencies, I thought something had happened" he interrupted, running his hands through his hair, his body relaxing slightly.

_"__Calm down Harvey, I needed to ask you something and get an instant reply, I didn't want to leave you a message at home and wait 2 or 3 days for a response"_

I laughed to myself as Harvey got told of by his mom, finding It funny how one of the hardest people in New York City can still be put in his place by his mother.

"and what's that mom?"

_"__Your brother is surprising Carla next Thursday with a surprise vow renewal for their 10 year anniversary and he wanted the whole family there, I was just hoping that you and hopefully Donna if you can give her the time off could come upstate and spend some time with everyone."_

I looked away from Harvey as my eyes went wide at the mention of my name, why was this godforsaken lie still hanging over us. "Well…"

_"__Harvey, you haven't seen your brother and his family for over a year, and no one from town even remembers what you look like. I know you have a busy life but for the sake of a couple of days, please."_

Harvey sighed "Fine, I'll clear my diary, but I don't think Donna will be able to make it, we both cant leave the office mid week." It was a lie, if Harvey wasn't around there wasn't much use for me, in fact, an answering machine could pretty much fulfill my role during his absence. But I appreciate that Harvey had not committed me to anything.

_"__Well that's a shame dear, everyone is excited to finally meet the girl that tamed Harvey Specter, I haven't stopped going on about your red haired beauty" _Your red haired beauty? God, I wish.

"Okay mom, well just send me over the details and I'll get my calendar cleared"

_"__Thank you sweetie, give Donna a big hug from me, love you"_

Harvey rolled his eyes "You too mom, bye". Harvey hung up the call, letting his head fall and hit his desk, picking it up and letting it fall numerous times.

"I'll do it" I spoke as I entered his office, mainly to stop him giving himself brain damage or permanent facial disfigurement. He lifted his head slowly off the desk and looked at me with a raised eyebrow

"What?"

"I'll do it." I repeated

"Do what?"

"I'll come to the anniversary thing with you" his expression shifted, his back straightening up as he just stared at me, trying to figure out if I was lying or if I had any secret motives.

He shook his head "No, I'm not putting you through all that crap again, It wasn't fair the first time and that was only with my mother, this would end you, seriously, you do not know my family."

"They cant be that bad?"

"They're the opposite of me!" he exclaimed

"So they are normal human beings then? Wow that's so scary" I replied dryly "Besides I think it's important that they meet the most important woman in your life for the last ten years… or however long we agreed we've been dating for"

I sat down on the chair opposite him and stretched out my legs, resting them on the table "I don't know Donna…we've just got back to a good place, I don't want to go fuck it up again."

I rolled my eyes "Will you man the fuck up Specter, I've agreed to come along, just accept my kind gesture that puts Mother Theresa to shame and sort things out with Jessica so we both have the time off."

Harvey jumped out of his seat as his face erupted into a goofy smile, his hands grabbing mine, pulling me to my feet "have I told you recently how amazing you are?"

I laughed as his strong muscular arms wrapped around me, picking me up off my feet momentarily as a cough interrupted Harvey's show of appreciation.

"Jeez guys, get a room" I smirked at Mike who was standing in the doorway, clutching a pile of folders, an amused look on his face.

Harvey let go of me, straightening his suit jacket as he gave Mike an unimpressed look "I think you'll find that we did, until you barged in"

Mike waltzed further into the office, throwing the pile of files onto the table as he sat down on the sofa, looking at us with scrutinizing eyes "You know people are talking, right?"

I crossed my arms over my chest as Harvey mirrored my movements, both of us staring at Mike with narrowed eyes "What are you on about?" I asked.

He waved his hand between the two of us "You two. I mean, there's always been an underlying tone of gossip regarding the two of you and your fucked up friendship, but ever since the Halloween party everyone thinks you two are doing the nasty"

Oh I knew about that, I knew full well, girls talk and unfortunately the girls in this office like to participate in speculation and gossip as if it were an Olympic sport. I hadn't mentioned it to Harvey mainly because I didn't want to have a casually insulting response thrown back in my face like 'why the hell would they think that?' or 'as if you and me would ever be a couple, I mean c'mon I'm Harvey Specter'

Yet Harvey shrugged at Mike's words "let them talk" I'm sorry, what?

"I'm not joking Harvey, everyone is convinced that the two of you are in a relationship" Mike clarified, the expression on his face reflecting what I can only imagine my face in this precise moment in time.

"Good for them, let them talk. As far as I'm concerned I couldn't think of a better woman to be the centre of attention with."

Okay I couldn't stay silent anymore, what the fuck was Harvey going on about, even Mike looked confused. "Harvey, you hate gossip"

"I do, but the more we deny it, the more it fuels the fire. At the end of the day we know, and this delinquent" indicating to Mike "knows what we are, who cares what everyone else thinks"

"But you have an image to maintain" I protested further, still not quite believing my ears.

"I know, and personally having you on my arm would only better that image" my eyes went wide as this conversation shifted into a whole new direction. Harvey sensed this and quickly added "…in a professional sense, of course"

Mike fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably, sensing that perhaps he had opened a can of worms. "Okay, I'm going to go, this sounds like a conversation that the two of you need to have alone." Yet before I had the chance to respond to Mike he was already half way down the coridoor, leaving Harvey and I in yet another awkward situation.

"I'm err, going to clear your schedule for next Thursday and Friday and look about booking a rental car" and with that I quickly walked out of the office and towards Rachel's office, knowing that I could get all my work done in there without having Harvey stare at me the entire time. What the fuck was that?

I barged into Rachel's office, pushing her office chair out of the way as she looked at me in a combination of shock, worry and confusion "Err hello Donna"

"Need to work in here." I robotically replied, my fingers tapping away at the keyboard as I started sending out emails to everyone Harvey had an appointment with late next week

"You do realize you have your own cubicle and therefore your own computer?"

"Need to be away from Harvey."

She rolled her eyes, taking a swig of water, leaning back in her chair as she looked at me. "What has he done now?"

"Code green" I muttered, my eyes moving away from the screen towards her.

"You've gotta stop using these codes Donna, nobody knows what the hell they mean. What's happened…"

I exhaled deeply, "Well it all started with your stupid boyfriend…"

* * *

**Harvey:**

"Donna, what is taking you so long?" I called from the hall, growing increasingly more impatient with the red haired wonder.

"I cant find a dress!" she screamed from her bedroom, frustration evident in her voice

"You have hundreds, just pick one, we've got to get going"

She poked her head around her door, her eyes narrowing as she looked at me with a look that could kill "Do not tell me to just pick a dress. You're the one that failed to mention the specific dress code for the party tonight" admittedly I had failed to mention that attire had to be grey or silver inline with the traditional symbol of a ten year wedding anniversary being tin.

"No one will care, you will look great in anything"

"It's like you don't know me at all!" she screeched, throwing a pair of silver louboutin's at me

"Will you not throw around $900 pairs of shoes that I brought you please"

"Oh shut up Specter, a pair of $900 shoes is a mere drop in the ocean of what you owe me for being…well, me, over the years." I rolled my eyes as I picked the shoes up, tapping my foot impatiently against the ground as she finally emerged from her room carrying a clothes carrier in one hand and an overnight bag in the other.

"Finally" I muttered sarcastically, receiving another death glare.

"It's not too late to change my mind you know." She handed me the bag and the clothes carrier as she strutted past me in a pair of tight, dark, skinny jeans and a pastel blue jumper.

"You know, you're going to have to try and be a little bit more of a people person at the party tonight"

"I am a people person!" she protested as the elevator slowly made its decent to the ground floor.

I scoffed, readjusting the bags in my arms "right… so what about right now then?"

"Right now? Well this is what I like to call 'Donna wanting to inflict pain on Harvey"

"Oh kinky" I joked, shooting her a wink as she hit my arm, unimpressed at my attempt to lighten the mood. "Will you grab the car keys, they're in my back pocket" I turned around so she could grab them as she looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not touching your ass, Specter"

"My arms are full, and don't act like you haven't been fantasying over touching my ass for years. Go on, I wont bite. Unless you want me to, of course." She quickly grabbed the keys out of my back pocket and unlocked the car

"A jeep grand Cherokee, really Harvey? You couldn't have possibly picked a smaller car?

"Get in the car woman."

"Err, do not woman me, thank you."

"Get in the fucking car and we'll go get you a coffee, jeez, I forgot how grumpy you get without your morning caffeine fix"

Donna jumped in the car, an innocent smile spreading across her face as I clearly said something right "Yay, coffee" Yep. Slinging her stuff in the boot alongside mine I jumped in the drivers seat, ready for 48 hours of 'family fun'

* * *

_"__I don't care who you are, where you're from, don't care what you did, as long as you love me…"_

I took my eyes off the road for a split second as I looked towards Donna, throwing her head about, waving her hands in the air as she belted out a backstreet boys song beside me. I laughed, amused at how engrossed she was in this song. She frowned as the song ended, her hands fiddling with the radio controls as she searched through the stations to find another song that suited her.

"Ugh, why do all radio stations play the same one song over and over again!"

"I'm sorry that my company bores you so much" I laughed

"Sorry" she mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Let's play a game"

I refrained from making a sarcastic comment asking if we were children and instead replied with a simple "okay."

"20 questions, no topics are off limits, be as daring as you want, but you have to answer the other persons question, no passes"

"…Okay, you first" I kept my eyes on the road, enjoying the rural scenery, a pleasant contrast from the concrete jungle I was so used to.

"You are stranded on a desert island and you're only allowed five people on this island with you, they could be anyone, people you know, famous people, or people that have died. Who would they be?

Oh that one was easy "My mom and dad, Barack Obama, Mike and you."

"Aww" she cooed "I think it' so cute how much you and Mike get along, even if you don't like to admit it."

"Okay my question" I interrupted "When you were younger, what did you want to be?"

"A ballerina and then an archeologist. I used to roll around in the dirt and dig up my parents back garden for historical treasures, they hated it."

"See, I couldn't imagine you wearing old clothes and digging up ditches, let alone exposing your nails to manual labor"

"Ha ha, very funny. Here's one for you, a little more personal; do you know how many people you've slept with, if so how many?"

"Yes and that's two questions" a gentleman never tells. Besides it was a lot, well, not a lot but I guess more than I'm proud to say.

"Oh come on, that's technicalities, answer the question"

"Nope" I replied popping the 'p' "Do you want to get married?"

She huffed, knowing that she had lost "Well that depends if the question you just posed to me was a proposal or not. Which in both instances I'd say yes"

My stomach flipped at her words "Good to know" I replied, trying to hide a smile that was tugging at my lips.

"Harvey, how many people have you slept with?" she tried again

"I'm not telling you Donna, I'm a gentleman"

"You're an animal." She sighed "Fine, what your favourite position"

"Donna" I exclaimed in disbelief as I stopped at a stop sign

"What?" she asked innocently, a mischievous grin on her face

"I'm not telling you that."

"and why not"

"Because why would I want to ruin the mystery?" I winked as her mouth fell open.

* * *

"Well this is it" we pulled up to my mom's house, a large house with a few acres of land surrounding it. It was the house we grew up in, it was the first place that I called home. I had offered to buy my parents somewhere new when I started making serious buck, but they refused. To them, this was the only place they could ever imagine living, and even now, my mom would never leave.

"This place is so cute! I cant believe you grew up here" Donna gushed, quickly unbuckling herself as she pressed her face against the car window in awe. "This is like _the_ house that every girl envisions owning when they start their own family, white picket fences, rose bushes. Oh god, I want to live here!" She hopped out the car as she saw my mom open the front door, the two of them literally skipping towards each other as they ran into each others arms. I sat in the drivers seat, watching the scene in front of me with a smile on my face, an emotion I couldn't quite place overcoming me at the sight. They talked animatedly for a couple of minutes before bursting into hysterical fits of laughter, both of their attentions shifting to me. Getting paranoid I jumped out of the car and walked over to them, a quizzical look upon my face.

"Ladies, what are we talking about?"

They both smiled innocently and replied in unison "nothing."

I didn't believe them. I hugged my mom tightly as I took in the surroundings for the first time properly, the air so much fresher here than in the city, the sky a little more blue.

"Come on let's get you two inside, we need all the hands we can get!" My brother had decided that hosting the event at my mom's house would be the only place that wouldn't raise suspicions from his wife Carla. Therefore meaning that my mom, my extended family and by the looks of it Donna and I, had the task of turning our house and garden into a venue to impress.

Donna followed us inside her feet coming to a standstill as soon as she stepped floor into the house, her eyes scanning the countless photos of my brother and myself growing up. "Oh my word" she muttered in amazement, grinning. She approached a photo of myself in the bath aged 2 or 3, holding nothing but a rubber duck "You were so fricking cute, oh my god!"

Mom came up besides her, looking at the photo "Who knows" she piped up "that's what your future kiddies could look like, if not even cuter"

Donna's cheeks went red as she went silent, pursing her lips together as she silently looked at the rest of the photos. I coughed, grabbing my mom lightly by the arm, desperately wanting to change the subject "Mom did you get the delivery of food and decorations I had ordered for tonight?" I kind of went overboard. Donna had told me that my efforts, as nice as they were, were subconsciously a way of showing everyone that I had the most money and live the flashy lifestyle. I however just did it because he's my brother.

"I did, it's all wonderful, everything looks so beautiful. I've just got to get the living room sorted for the vow renewal and then we are good to go, any chance you can help me move the furniture" I smiled, pulling up the sleeves of my jumper

"Lead the way momma"

* * *

**Donna:**

I stared at myself in the mirror, unsure of how I looked, unsure of what to expect everyone else to look like. I wanted to look good, of course, I wanted to impress, but I didn't want to outdo the 'bride'. Is she even a bride if she's already married? I sighed in frustrated, spraying hairspray onto the ends of my hair before admitting defeat. This was the best I could do. I took one final look at myself, my hair straightened, light make up and a grey sweetheart cut dress. Oh and of course, my silver louboutins.

"Harvey" I called from the adjoining bathroom, not wanting to storm in on him if he were half naked (as much as I would appreciate that)

"Yeah?"

"Can you come and tell me if I look okay please?"

"Come out here" and so I did, I tried to walk as elegantly as possible on the uneven wooden floor, not wanting to get my heels stuck between the tiny gaps. I looked down to the ground as I entered the room

"Wow" Harvey whispered, his eyes raking over my body quickly before gaining his usually professional composure. "Gorgeous, just gorgeous."

"Thank you, you look pretty damn fine yourself" he did, he really did. He was wearing grey suit pants and a crisp white shirt, his hair au natural with the appearance of light stubble on his face.

"Hmm. I think I need to shave"

"No!" I replied a little too quickly and enthusiastically "I mean, I like it, it's nice."

"You mean it's sexy?"

My expression fell "No."

"Admit it Donna, you think I'm sexy"

"I think Mike's sexy…" I countered

"Ew! Take that back, take that back, right now." I laughed at Harvey's horrified expression "He is a child!"

"Come on, the service is going to start shortly, lets go" I opened the door, slipping out first as Harvey followed closely behind me, the sound of people filling our ears instantly. I felt slightly intimidated as I entered the living area where most people had already found a place to sit or stand ready for the surprise vow renewal. Harvey grabbed my hand, interlocking our fingers as he moved us through the group of people. I tried my best to ignore the feeling of his touch, or the shot of electricity I felt shoot through my left side, but it wasn't so easy. Harvey's face scrunched up as he noticed only one chair available at the end of the front row of seats.

"I think we're going to have to step this whole pretending thing up a notch"

"What do you mean?" I asked, whisper shouting into his ear.

"Sit on my lap."

Erm, no.

"Donna"

Still no.

He sat down on the chair and pulled me down by my waist, landing on his lap with force. "Ouch" he groaned.

"Serves you right."

He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder as everyone poured into the room, including a very surprised looking Carla. The service was beautiful, Harvey's brothers vows nearly made me cry, and when I say nearly, I mean, they made me cry. I found myself wondering if I would ever be standing up in front of my friends and family listening to the words of someone who loved me, and wanted to spend the rest of their living days together.

Harvey's brother was my age and he had already been married for 10 years, what hope do I have now? I mean, why have a classic when you can have a brand new model?

"Harvey!" my eyes shot up as Harvey's brother came up to us, hand in hand with his wife.

"Steve." He greeted

"And you must be the famous Donna we've all heard so much about!" I hopped of Harvey's lap to shake hands and hug as I smiled politely

"So nice to meet you, the ceremony was beautiful" i said sincerely as Harvey draped his arm around my shoulders.

"And here was me thinking that Steve had forgotten!" Carla spoke, the biggest and most genuine smile on her face.

"Would I ever?" he turned and looked at his wife, briefly kissing her on the lips. My stomach dropped. I wanted that. Steve turned back to us "Come on, let's go party, I cant wait to hear all about you Donna! Especially how you put up with this grumpy sod over here"

* * *

**Harvey:**

I stood in the garden, cigar in one hand, glass of scotch in the other. I didn't make a habit of smoking, after all it was a dirty habit, but a celebratory cigar every now and then was acceptable in my eyes

"I know you've had a string of beautiful women in the past Harvey, but damn, you outdid yourself with Donna" I gave my brother a tight lipped smile, nodding slightly "I mean, she's funny, beautiful, she's like the female version of you, I didn't believe mom when she told me, but damn, she is your perfect match."

"She's something alright" I replied, taking a large sip of my drink

"When are you going to make an honest woman out of here and pop the question? I mean, you cant let someone like her get away"

"Oh" I pondered, uneasily. "I don't know"

"Well do you at least she a future with her?" I forgot how irritating Steve was.

I was silent for a few moments, biding my time to figure out the best response, in this moment, not wanting to lie or pretend "Yeah, I do." I breathed, trying to not over think the meaning of my words.

"Good, Joe and Katie would love some little cousins to play with in the future"

"…yeah" I felt sick, too much future talk. "I'm going to go find Donna, I'll speak to you in a bit, bro" I handed him the cigar as I walked through the patio doors into the house, searching for Donna. I smiled as I noticed her sitting in the corner, glass of wine in hand, people watching. She looked radiant, as if she were the only person in the entire room.

"Hey" she smiled as I approached her "you smell of smoke. Celebratory cigar, really?"

"What?" I asked defensively " it's a good enough occasion"

"Can we dance please? Everyone keeps looking at me like I'm the lonely lost girl" I extended my hand towards her as she accepted, getting to her feet. I wrapped my arms around her waist as we swayed to the soft music, my eyes focused on only Donna, well that was until I saw _her_.

* * *

**Donna:**

I looked at Harvey confused as his gaze moved past me, his expression falling, his grip on my waist subconsciously tightening. I felt his heart beat race through my palm that was resting on his chest "Harvey…" I spoke, unsure of what was going on, but I got no response, not even one twitch, he had frozen into place "Harvey, are you okay?"

Still nothing.

I turned around slowly in his grip, my back now against his as we continued slowly saying to the music, Harvey's arms resting dangerously low on my waist. I followed his gaze, squinting as I looked past the group of people before finally landing on a woman standing in the corner, drink in hand, chatting to one of Harvey's relatives.

"Who is that?" I asked nonchalantly, still staring at the gorgeous woman a matter of meters away from me. She must have been around our age, shoulder length blonde hair and a body that even a model would be jealous of, yet dressed in casual attire that I presume was from a high street retailer.

I heard Harvey gulp "That… that's Laura"

"And who is Laura?" I have never heard of a Laura before, out of all the women Harvey has had in his life, I had never heard of a Laura.

"She…" he trailed off, inhaling and exhaling deeply "That woman right there is the only woman that's ever broken my heart."

* * *

I dragged him into the bedroom and shut the door firmly as he sat on the edge of the bed looking…lost.

"Explain" I demanded softly, kicking off my heels.

Harvey shrugged "There isn't much more to tell you, she broke my heart."

I shook my head, refusing to take that as an answer "No one just breaks Harvey Specter's heart. What happened Harvey? What did she do?" he looked up at me silently, searching my face for any indication that I wanted to turn this into a joke at his expense

"I don't talk about it… I've never talked about it"

"Try?" I suggested, sitting next to him, taking his hand in mine.

He nodded silently "We were young, really young. We went to school together, our parents were best friends, we were practically inseparable. We were each other's firsts…for a lot of things."

"She was the one…in the bush?" I interrupted, trying to piece bits of information together, he nodded.

"She was the first girl I kissed when I was 12, we went to junior and senior prom together, we were prom king and queen. We dated from the ages of 17 to 21, I worked my life around her, and her dreams. She was the first girl I fell for, she was the first person I had said I love you to. I was delusional, I was so consumed by her that I was convinced we would work out, that we would make it til the end. Even when I was in New York and she was at college in Boston, I thought we were stronger than ever. But I was wrong." He took a deep breath before he continued "One night I called her and the line disconnected, the number was out of service. I tried calling her friends, the university, her parents, but no one would tell me where she was or if she were okay. She had literally disappeared off the face of the earth. Days turned into weeks, that turned into months and I had made so many attempts to find her, but I couldn't. For all I knew, she could have been dead in a ditch or in some sort of serious trouble. I mean, how could someone just go from talking to someone every day for years, growing up together, planning a life together, to just…disappearing?"

I bit my lip, finding it hard to contain my own emotions as I noticed Harvey's eyes glaze over "Nearly a year had passed when I finally heard something. I went home for the weekend because my dad wanted my help with something and I remember picking up the local newspaper on the Saturday morning and flicking through it like I always did. It was just any other day until I reached page 58, the announcement page. There she was, her face just as beautiful as I remembered, that smile nearly knocking the wind right out of me. She was pictured standing in the embrace of someone I didn't recognise, someone visibly our senior by a few years. She was getting married. She had met, who I letter found out was one of the associate tutors at her college, whilst she was still with me. And instead of having the balls to end it, she took the elaborate route of disappearing"

"Why would she do that?" I mean, why would she?

"I don't know. Maybe she thought it would be easier on me? Easier on her perhaps, she never did like confrontation. She put me through hell and back for a year. There was never a night that I slept the night through, there was never a moment where I didn't worry about her. I would watch the local and national news and hear about homicides and unidentifiable female bodies and my stomach would tie in knots, because I had no idea if she was one of them."

"Is she still married to the guy?"

"No. it lasted two, three years at the max, and then he left her. Steve told me that. Tonight is the first time I've seen her in person in 16 years."

I threw my arms around Harvey, unable to do or say anything else. That was not what I expected. I felt…crushed. How could anyone do that to somebody, especially Harvey?

"And she had the audacity to turn up tonight? Knowing you'd be here? I'll punch her Harvey, I'll go up to her right now and I'll punch her so hard in the nose, it'll fall off." I was serious, my blood was boiling.

Harvey let out a light laugh "I don't know why she's here Donna, my family know what she did. She knows what she did."

"You should confront her, have it out with her!"

He shook his head "No, it's Steve and Carla's night, I'm not going to make a scene, she's not worth it."

"I'm sorry Harvey, I had no idea."

"Why would you? I've done a brilliant job of hiding all these years…" he ran his hands over his face "I'm really sorry Donna but I cant be here, just knowing she's out there is getting under my skin. I've got to go and get some air." I nodded wordlessly, I couldn't argue with him. I watched as he stormed out of the bedroom, door slamming behind him. I sat down on the edge of the bed and ran my hands through my hair, trying to process all this new information that had been thrown my way in such a short period of time. Everything made so much sense now; his behaviour, his mannerisms, all made sense. Harvey had been vulnerable to love in the past, and he got hurt.

She was the reason for his commitment issues and the cold exterior; she was the reason he had become so closed off to his emotions. He didn't want to be hurt again. He had taught himself to turn off all his emotions, to put up a wall, so he never had to go through something like that again.

I wanted to confront her, I wanted to hit her, but it wasn't my place. She had hurt undoubtedly one of the most important people in my life and she is just walking this earth not knowing the consequences of her actions. I took a deep breath, calming myself down as I grabbed the packet of cancer sticks out of my purse. Walking barefoot out of the bedroom I walked past where everyone was dancing, noticing she was still in the same spot. I stared at her long and hard, my gaze burning into the side of her head, and I swear if looks could kill…

She turned around, her eyes locking with mine as she looked at me confused. I strutted up to her wordlessly, stopping a matter of feet away from her, back straight, head high. "You" I pointed at her, prodding her chest with finger "You're an evil bitch. I hope that you've acquired a personality and a sense of conscious because trust me darling, when all of this" I waved my hand in front of her "goes south, and it will, you'll need something working in your favour to stop you from dying alone"

"Who are you?" she scoffed, eyeing me up and down. Girl had an attitude.

"Me? I'm Harvey Specter's girlfriend." Her face dropped, she opened her mouth to talk as I indicated for her to shut up "I'm not finished. I don't know who you think you are turning up to this, but leave."

"I-I"

"I don't want to hear it. You may have fucked up two lives when you ran off into the sunset with Grandpa, but trust me, you're the loser now." I turned around, beginning to walk away "Oh, one more thing. Thank you for being such a heartless bitch. I now live in a $3m condo near central park with the love of my life! As the almighty Queen B famously quotes, 'I guess it sucks to be you right now'"

I walked away, wide eyed, shocked at what I had just done, and that was tame for Donna, Donna could have done a hell of a lot worse. Stepping out into the garden I grabbed a cigarette out of the packet and popped it between my lips. Don't judge, I deserved it.

* * *

I stirred awake at the sound of my phone ringing. Through hazy eyes I looked at the caller ID to see it was Harvey as my finger pressed the accept button.

"Hello" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes

"DONNA!" he screamed down the phone

"Harvey, where are you?"

"DONNA! I'm at Joe's Bar, I'm drunk! The bar man said I had to call you to pick me up" he slurred down the line. I ran my free hand over my face as I groaned.

"I'm coming to get you, hold tight" I ended the call as I groggily dragged myself to my overnight back slinging on a pair of jeans and one of Harvey's t-shirts as I searched his jacket pocket for the car keys. Trying not to wake anyone up I crept out of the house and punched the name of the bar into the Satnav, hoping it would successfully take me to Harvey.

After a short and completely walkable drive to the bar, I noticed Harvey slumped outside, a lopsided smile spread across his face as he waved at me. "Donna, you came!"

He was wasted. In fact, he was beyond that. In the 10 years I had known Harvey, I have never seen him drunk to the point of being paralytic. Harvey always knew when to stop. "You're a mess" I observed as I helped him to his feet, dragging him into the car

"And you're pretty"

I rolled my eyes as I jumped into the drivers seat, turning on the ignition. "Why Harvey?"

"I-I don't know-w. She was there and I needed air, and I just… wanted to escape"

The rest of the ride was silent, the only noise coming from either of us was the sound of Harvey's head drunkenly hitting the window repeatedly

I sighed, resting my hand on his knee as we pulled up outside his family house. "Can I ask you something Donna?"

"Sure"

"What is wrong with me?"

"Oh come on, man up, Specter, you're the best closer in New York. You're a god" his face fell even further at my attempt of a joke. "Nothing is wrong with you Harvey"

"Then why do I live in a city of 8 million people but constantly feel alone?"

Whoa, depressing Harvey. "You're not alone Harvey, you have your friends, you have Mike, you have me…"

"Until you find the next Nick" he mumbled quietly to himself

"What?"

Harvey shrugged "Nothing, I want to sleep"

I threw his arm over my shoulder as I dragged him out of the car, mentally cursing at how much Harvey weighed. I rolled my eyes as he groaned, his limp body making a lousy attempt of helping me get him into the house. "You're a real pain in my ass Specter" I muttered as I nudged open the door with my hip, pushing him through the threshold as I closed the door behind me. Luckily for me, our guest room was on the ground floor, meaning that I didn't have to try and get the successful lawyer up a flight of stairs. I pushed him into the bedroom, quickly drawing back the covers as i helped him shimmy off his shirt and pants until he was standing in a vest and boxers. He collapsed into bed, his body sprawled out like a starfish.

I leant over his body, a fist full of duvet in each hand as I attempted to tuck him in, his bloodshot eyes looking at me helplessly, a lazy lopsided smile on his face. I paused to look at him, our faces only a few inches apart "What would you be without me, aye?" I smiled at him, patting his hand as I tried to hoist myself up.

"I'd be nothing" he muttered, his eyes still boring into mine

He grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him, causing me to stumble and lose my balance, landing on his chest with an 'umph'. I was about to scold him for messing about when his expression evened out, his pulse speeding up under my touch. I looked down at his hand that was still gripping mine, his thumb caressing my skin in abstract patterns, I looked back at him. I placed my spare hand next to his head to balance myself as his spare arm came up to brush a stray strand of hair out of my face. I involuntarily shuddered as his touch lingered on my skin, his fingers resting on my cheek. I closed my eyes, not wanting to portray any emotions through my eyes, not knowing what the hell was currently happening.

"Donna" he mumbled as I opened my eyes to look at him, the hand that was on my cheek, moving to the back of my head. His eyes flickered between mine and my lips, his expression unsure, his fingers tangling themselves in my hair slightly. I let out a shaky breath, the quiet and prolonged eye contact causing my body to go into what I can only describe as the early stages of cardiac arrest. He leant towards me, the distance between our faces growing smaller, the hand on the back of my head guiding me closer. I ran my tongue over my lips self consciously as our noses brushed, his warm breath fanning across my cheeks. I closed my eyes as he tilted his head, capturing my lips between his, his movements soft but urgent as he pulled me closer. I grimaced slightly at the taste of alcohol and stale tobacco on his lips, his mouth working against mine in unison as I swung my leg over his body for stability, causing our mouths to disconnect. I let out an involuntary groan as I straddled him, his mouth continuing its hungry assault across my jaw towards my neck. I let my neck fall back, granting him better access as my mind began to finally focus on what the hell was happening. I tried to push him away, yet my hands grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt, the cool air coming in from the open window fanning against the wet areas of skin Harvey had just been working on, causing a shiver of pleasure to run down my spine. "Harvey" I muttered, surprised I could coherently say his name "Harvey" I repeated, pushing him away slightly as he stared at me confused, his mouth still parted.

"We can't" I couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth, after a decade of fantasying about this moment, here I was taking the higher ground, being responsible.

"Why not?" he pouted, his bottom lip sticking out. Not helping Harvey, not helping.

"Because you're drunk and you don't know what you're doing" The horny side of Donna was currently planning on ways to execute this sensible, levelheaded Donna that is ruining all of her fun.

"I know what I'm doing Donna" he replied sternly, almost sounding completely sober.

"If you did, you wouldn't be doing this"

"Believe what you want Donna." He sighed, " Can we at least cuddle?" I rolled my eyes as I nodded, crawling over him as I settled myself under the covers, kicking off my jeans as his arm snaked around my shoulders pulling me towards him before he draped his arm around my waist. I closed my eyes, a frown on my lips as I ran through he events of the day in my head wondering if the kiss was a reaction to seeing Laura, just another drunken mistake, or more. All I did know was that if I woke up in the morning to an empty bed or a sarcastic joke, it was time that I finally moved on.

* * *

**Well, that was 7900 words haha. This was going to be two chapters, with a bit more on the end but you were all getting so impatient for something to happen. I've wanted to write this for ages because it explains a lot about Harvey, it's a big move for him to tell Donna, not to mention Donna agreeing to go to this thing with him**

**AND THEN THE KISS? I mean come onnnn.**

**Put it this way I started writing this at 10am, its 9:30pm now, fuck my life. Show me some love. Its my results day at uni as well, I got a first class degree! Help me celebrate!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Donna**

I stared at his face, his eyes closed, his mouth parted slightly as barely audible snores escaped his lips. I had been staring at that same face all night, scared that if I closed my eyes, I would wake up and he would be gone. Whether he stayed or left, I was certain that I would still have zero idea of how to comprehend everything. Nor did I know what to expect. This is Harvey Specter we're talking about, he is unpredictable at the best of times, I can only imagine his capability at the worst. Would he wake up with a stinking hangover and no recollection of the night before? Would he wake up, take one look at me and flee the country? Or would he just wake up, and fire me?

They're my top three options based on approximately eight thousand scenarios that have ran through my mind over the last 6 hours, and now I was waiting with bated breath waiting for Harvey to pick his number.

My eyes went wide, my hand flying to my mouth as I sneezed, my body jerking, causing the sleeping lawyer next to me to stir, his body stretching out and tensing as his eyes fluttered open. I gulped as he blinked several times, his eyes adjusting to the light, his gaze falling on me. "Hi" he said, breaking the silence, his voice raspy.

"Hi" I whispered back

"So…"

"So…" I echoed, feeling like an awkward teenager lost for words after her first drunken fumble.

"We should really talk about last night"

"Yeah" I agreed, "we do"

He shifted, sitting up a little too quickly as he groaned "Shit, how much did I drink last night?"

I shrugged, letting a small smile tug at my lips "I presume enough vodka to tie over Russia for a day or two."

He frowned, closing his eyes momentarily "People are going to start thinking that I'm a borderline alcoholic at this rate."

"Borderline?" I looked at him with a pointed look "Honey, you are a fully fledged wino, you have drunk more in the last couple of months than the average person consumes in a year."

He attempted to look offended, but the raging hangover he was experiencing made everything hurt, every moment unnecessarily painful "I would make a sarcastic yet utterly hilarious comeback to that statement, but the room is still spinning and right now I need that to stop before I make comment on your love for the grape."

I rolled my eyes as I flung the covers off of myself, hoisting myself out of bed as I inspected my appearance in the full length mirror "I don't understand how you still manage to look the way you do when you've just woken up" he spoke up from behind me. I looked in the mirror at his reaction his expression soft as he stared into the back of me.

"Like a troll?" I cracked a joke, prodding my face, mentally crying over the bags that had formed under my eyes.

"Beautiful." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, my stomach flipping. I turned around slowly, wordlessly, convinced I had misheard.

"What?"

"I'm just saying that even without makeup and the expensive dresses you're still beautiful"

"Harvey" I warned, taking a step towards the bed. He dragged himself out of bed, stumbling on his heavy limbs as he slowly made his way towards me. I let out a shaky breath as he pushed a stand of hair behind my ear, his hand falling slowly from the side of my face, brushing my arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake.

"What?" he asked innocently his fingers trailing up my side at a painfully slow pace.

I closed my eyes at his touch, my body finding it increasingly difficult to hide the effect he was having on me "Stop."

"Stop what?"

I opened my eyes "_this_" I signaled between us "we can cut the act, no one is here, no one can hear us"

His hand dropped to his side as he took a step back "why do you have to question or dismiss me every time I'm say or do something nice, or at any attempt of me trying to get to know _you _better?"

"Because" I pulled my hair in frustration, unable to formulate a response, because I had no idea what i wanted to say, "because it's you Harvey." I pursed my lips together tightly as I watched his face fall, a slight, sarcastic laugh escaping his mouth.

He grabbed a clean t-shirt, ripping the old one off his body before quickly replacing it. "Because I'm me?' he questioned, throwing the old shirt to the ground, "because I'm _me_?" He shook his head. "Am I that bad a person that the simple notion of me being nice, of complimenting you is so hard to process that it just has to be false?"

"That's not what I meant…" I tried

He threw his hands in the air "then what did you mean Donna? Because from where I'm standing that's exactly what you meant!" I winced as he raised his voice, defensively wrapping my arms around myself. "I'm not perfect Donna, God, I get that, but I thought you of all people would know that I'm not a bad person, that i have the ability to be something other than the hard ass New York lawyer."

"I know that…"

"But you don't believe it." He shrugged "I thought that finally we were getting to a good place, that you and I were finally cutting the crap and being…_us. _I fucked up, you fucked up, we're both fuck up's Donna, but together we're unstoppable. You're not perfect either, but your flaws make you human, but apparently mine make me a monster, and my good qualities? Well to you, they make me look fake, they make me look suspect."

I ran my hands over my face, tears welling up in my eyes, my legs shaking under my own weight. "You beg me to open up, and when I do, you push me away. You say that I'm the one that doesn't know anything about you, but I think that's you. You clearly don't know as much about me as you think, and you certainly have no idea about yourself. Ask yourself something Donna, do you really know how you feel towards me? And if you do, ask yourself, do you _really_ know how it makes you feel?"

I stood glued to the ground as Harvey grabbed his phone off the nightstand and walked out the room, the door slamming behind him. I watched the door shake on its hinges, a tear finally escaping, slowly rolling down my cheek. Why did Harvey always have to go with the unspoken option number 4?

* * *

**Harvey:**

I felt horrific; beyond horrific as I slammed the door behind me, knowing that Donna would no doubt break down the second the door stopped shaking. I snapped. The last 12 hours had been a blur, a blur of events that I would have never imagined would happy in concession to one another. I stormed into the kitchen to find my mom washing the dishes, her face breaking into a smile at the sight of me.

"Good morning darling"

"Morning mom" I grumbled, grabbing a stack of pancakes off of the counter before finding a chair at the table.

"Are you not going to wait for Donna?"

I shook my head, stuffing a whole pancake in my mouth "Nope."

"Are you two okay? I didn't mean to eavesdrop or anything, but I heard the two of you arguing just now…"

"We're fine mom" I dismissed her, downing a cup of coffee.

I watched as my mom sat opposite me, a sympathetic look upon her face "Is it because of what she did last night?"

I raised an eyebrow "What? What did she do last night?"

"You know, her little confrontation with Laura. I'm sorry I didn't even know she was invited, if I had known well I…"

"Sorry, what now?" I dropped my fork on the plate, swallowing my mouthful of food as my eyes widened in disbelief.

"You didn't know?!" I shook my head, of course I didn't know, I wouldn't have let her out of my sight if I had known her intentions. Hell I wouldn't have gone and blown a small fortune on over priced vodka last night. "She waltzed straight up to her and gave it her all, god I knew she was feisty, but damn Harvey, your girl is incredible."

"I don't understand"

"I've never seen anything like it Harvey, she literally destroyed the girl in a few words. Laura left in tears." I groaned, wondering why I was even surprised, this is what Donna does; she gets mad, she confronts, she destroys. Donna was a machine, a force to be reckoned with and despite the happiness I feel over what I have just heard, It's buried deep, deep down inside, under the disappointment and anger I feel on the surface.

"That sounds like Donna"

"The girl loves you. Even if it's not obvious to you, at times, it sure if obvious to the rest of us. She loves _you. _She was defending your honour"

I didn't respond, how do I respond? _Oh yeah mom? You really think that? Well let me tell you something; we're faking it, we're not a couple. In fact I don't even know if we're friends 99% of the time. The girl makes me crazy, and I cant get her out of my head. I cant imagine my life without her, but my life with her is ridiculously complicated and complex and I wouldn't change that for the world._ Now, part of me thinks that wouldn't go down well.

I pushed the chair back, the sound of the wood causing an unattractive squeak to fill the air "If she asks where I am, can you tell her that I've just popped out to do something and I'll see her later?" I didn't wait for a response, I just left. I didn't let myself think, I just let my legs take me to the familiar place, a place that killed a little piece of me, every time I went.

* * *

I starred at the familiar name etched into marble, a permanent reminder of a great man, buried beneath my feet. I crouched down, staring at the grass "Hi dad" I muttered, knowing that in reality I was talking to no one, but I believed that somewhere, my dad could hear me. "I'm sorry it's been so long since I last visited. I wish I had a valid excuse, but we both know I'm just going to blame it on work like I always do." I looked around, making sure that I was alone "You were right" I breathed "How you saw it before I did, I'll never know, but you were right"

Unlike my mother, my dad had come to the City to visit me a handful of times before he died, each time surprising me at work. He loved sneaking away from home, telling mom he was seeking out new suppliers, and instead driving the 5 hour journey to visit me, have a beer and watch a game from the best seats money could buy.

My dad loved Donna, and Donna loved my dad. The first time they were introduced to one another I watched with an amused smile on my face as they embraced, as if they had known each other all their lives. They joked, pulled pranks on me, even kept in loose contact when he was at home, to my dad, Donna was the daughter he never had. A small smile tugged at my lips as I remember the conversation I had with my dad, the conversation that I tried to bury away for years, yet have never truly escaped from.

_"You know, I'm beginning to think that all these trips into the City aren't to see me, rather Donna" I joked as I brought the glass of scotch to my lips, letting the liquid run down my throat, leaving a warm sensation in its path._

_My dad laughed, looking at Donna through the glass, who was busily typing away on the computer "I'm not going to deny it son, that girl right there is a fire cracker." I glanced at the red haired wonder, a smile finding its way to my face as I watched her get angry with the computer._

_"she sure is something."_

_My dad moved his attention to me, his eyes boring into mine as he just…stared. "What?" I asked, wondering if there was ink on my face or scotch on my shirt "What?" I repeated, feeling uneasy under his scrutinising stare._

_"Sometimes I wonder how on earth a man as clever as you can come from the same gene pool as me. You worked your ass off and now you're one of the best lawyers in the country, if not the world. But you're just so goddamn oblivious, you both are."_

_"What are you on about dad?" I had no idea what the old man was talking about._

_"Sitting on the other side of that glass is the best thing that has and will ever happen to you."_

_"Donna?" I asked in disbelief. Donna's amazing, there's no doubt about that, but that's a pretty strong statement that's just escaped my dad's mouth._

_He sighed "Maybe not today, tomorrow, or even a year down the line, but one day you'll realize that that woman was destined to walk into your life. You'll realize that you cant and don't want to ever let her go"_

_"What are you trying to say dad?" I was confused, I didn't understand, in fact I was beginning to think my dad was going senile _

_"Every story has a beginning, middle and an end and conventionally the end is always happy. Yours and Donna's story is just beginning, I'm not going to ruin it for you, but I know it's going to end."_

I shook my head at the memory, remembering how utterly insane I thought my father was when I listened to him; I thought that my mom had subjected in to too many romantic comedies. But the man was right, he always was. He saw something that has taken me 10 years to even contemplate as a plausible possibility. Had I had an epiphany? No. But had something shifted in me causing me to question everything I was previously certain on? Yes.

Am I scared? Damn straight.

"I thought I'd find you here… Hi Mr Specter" I looked over my shoulder to see her standing there, dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and one of my hooded sweatshirts. I wanted to be angry at her, I wanted to scream at her until I was red in the face, until my body was shaking with rage. But I couldn't, I never could and I doubt I ever would.

"What are you doing here Donna?" I asked in my best pretend annoyed tone, getting to my feet.

"I… I wanted to apologize for what I said, I don't think you're a bad person Harvey" she let out a sigh at my lack of response " look, can we please just go somewhere and talk, please?"

"Donna..."

"I'm not going to beg Harvey, you know I'm not so just move your ass and let's talk" I rolled my eyes as she began to walk away, my legs following suit as I took one last look at my dad's headstone.

* * *

We ended up by a small lake down the road, a deserted spot, surrounded by tall trees and miles of vibrant green grass. "Look, I'm sorry for insinuating that you are cold hearted, and that you don't have the ability to be nice, it's just… it's so foreign to me, to hear you say these things, act this way…around _me. _I have no doubt that the string of ladies in your life have heard similar compliments and pleasantries, but this is me Harvey, we don't talk to each other like this, we insult and we joke, that's just what we do." She sat down on the grass, kicking her shoes off as she dipped her feet in the freezing cold water. "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to distinguish your words and the words of this unwritten script we're reading from. I just…I cant keep up, it's confusing, I'm in a permanent state of confusion these days"

"It's confusing for me too" I agreed, breaking the silence that had fallen between us. "But just to clarify, everything I've said whether it was in the midst of our act or when it's just been the two of us, it was genuine"

"Okay" she mumbled, looking down at her hands "are you still angry at me?"

I shook my head, scooting towards her "No. Well not over that anyway. Am I pissed that you decided to confront Laura? Yeah kind of, it wasn't your place to. But am I glad you did it? Hell yeah, she got Donna'd." I threw my arm around her, pulling her towards me.

"Your mom told me that I made her cry" she gave me a sheepish look

"Good, that's only 1% of the tears I shed over that waste of space, she deserved it. Just don't do it again."

She laid her head on my shoulder, staring out at the lake "then don't leave me alone to go and get shitfaced at some bar."

"I wasn't that bad!" I protested, even though I knew I was beyond bad, I was ridiculous.

She laughed, her body vibrating against mine "Harvey I had to drag you into the house, you couldn't even stand."

"Okay, okay, I was bad."

"Harvey, we need to talk about that… other thing" I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I was going to act ignorant, I didn't know what to say.

"What other thing?"

She let out a shaky breath "the kiss Harvey, the heavy make out session you initiated last night."

"I was…"

"Drunk, it was a mistake? Okay I get it" she interrupted, answering her own question, wrong answers may I add.

"No Donna, I was just trying something out."

"What?" she ripped herself out of my grip "what do you mean?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, "I just know that in that moment, I wanted to kiss you, and I did. I don't regret it" I looked away, not wanting to see her reaction, not wanting to see her run away scared.

"Oh" was all she said. Oh.

"Oh? Is that all you've got to say? Oh?"

"Pretty much" she shrugged "I hadn't really prepared myself for that response. I was expecting you to deny it ever happening"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because we've done it before, pushed things under the carpet and moved on as if nothing had happened."

"Well what about you? Do you regret it?"

She shrugged "I don't know… yes…no. No, but this is us Harvey, we cant just make out whenever we feel like it"

"Why not?" I asked, curious of her response

"Are you insane? Because you're my boss, I'm your secretary, we're friends and friends don't kiss"

"Some friends kiss" I pointed out, it was a fact, out there somewhere there were people just like us, crossing boundaries every day.

"We're not some people Harvey, you're Harvey Specter-" I don't know what I was thinking, or what I was doing, I just knew that if she used my full name as a justification of how to act or behave, I was going to explode. I grabbed her face, slamming my lips against hers with force, hoping that it would shut her up. I expected her to hesitate, to pull away and slap me in the face, but she didn't. Her hands worked their way to the back of my head, her fingers tangling themselves in my hair, her mouth parting, granting my tongue access. Last night I may have been drunk, and the vodka running through my veins no doubt partially responsible for my bold move, but right now, this was all me, this was us.

She smiled against my lips as she pulled away, our noses still touching "this isn't a new move you can use every time you want to shut me up, Specter."

"What is it then?" I poked again for answer, I wanted her to tell me where she stood, how she felt what she thought. I wanted her to stop being so passive and give me a honest response.

"It's…nothing."

"Nothing? Wow, thanks Donna."

She put her hand on my cheek "What I mean is, let's not analyse the shit out of it, let's not over think it, let's just…be. For the first time in ages, we're in a good place Harvey, let's not ruin it because we over thought the meaning of a kiss." I pulled away, distancing myself from her as I pursed my lips together in a tight line, giving her a curt nod.

"Okay. Does that mean kissing is off the table?"

"It means nothing is off the table, it means we're just us."

Okay Donna, whatever the fuck that means.

* * *

The car journey back to manhattan was long, tiring and full of restroom breaks acting as the lame excuse to pull over somewhere and make out. We were like horny teenagers. We didn't talk about whatever the fuck was going on between us, we didn't even talk we just sat, in a comfortable silence, enjoying each others company, quietly having our own individual mental breakdowns. I pulled up outside Donna's apartment, helping her up the stairs with her overnight bag as we stopped outside her front door.

"So… I guess I should say thank you for putting on one hell of a show in front of my family the past couple of days"

She placed her hands on her hips, as if she was a statue at the Oscars "and the Oscar for the most convincing performance as a fake girl friends goes to me!"

I rolled my eyes "You're ridiculous, you know that right?"

"Goodnight Harvey" she smiled, quickly pecking me on the cheek

"Goodnight Donna" I replied, stuffing my hands into my pockets as I turned around towards the stairs.

"Hey Harvey" she called as I turned back to look at her

"Yeah?"

"Do you… want to come in?" she asked uneasily, biting her lip as she moved her gaze to the ground, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. Did I want to come in? Part of me wanting nothing more, but the sensible part of me knew that I couldn't. I just couldn't.

"Remember the last time I came into your apartment late at night?" I reminded her, hoping that it would be an acceptable answer without having to actually vocalise the word 'no'.

She leant against the doorframe, her lips breaking out into a mischievous grin as she fluttered her eyelids at me. "It's been such a long time, my memory seems to be failing me a little, perhaps you should remind me" Where the hell did this side of Donna come from?

I cleared my throat as my eyes went wide, surely she wasn't suggesting… no, no, she wouldn't. I stuffed my hands in my pockets as I tried to ignore the thudding in my chest, or the sweat forming over every inch of skin. "Donna…" I started, my body tensing as she stepped towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Donna" I repeated, my eyes involuntarily closing as she got on her tiptoes, her lips dangerously close to my ear.

"Come on" she whispered "I've even got a can of whipped cream in the fridge" I gulped, shaking my head, mentally chanting no as I tried to keep my self restraint in check.

"Donna we can't" I said a little more forcefully, gently grabbing her arms, removing them from around my neck. Her face fell.

"Wow" she stepped back, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that"

"Donna…"

"No, it's okay Harvey, i- I was stupid to think, I was stupid to think that you would want to… with me. I'm sorry, Goodnight Harvey."

"Donna wait" I took a step forward trying to stop her but she quickly opened her door, squeezing through the small gap before slamming it closed. I sighed as I heard her secure the locks through, my head falling against the door with a thud.

Shit.

I got into the rental car, my hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel, my breathing laboured as I looked at the road ahead, the twinkling lights of the city, calming my nerves as I tried to focus on my next move. What the fuck sort of can of emotional worms had I opened last night with that kiss?

I turned on the ignition, putting the car into drive as I raced off down the street, letting the vehicle take me to my next destination, the only destination I could think of. I needed… I needed someone to talk to, and let's face it, Donna was out of the picture.

I raised my hand and knocked it against the painted wooden door, waiting impatiently for the person on the other side to answer, hoping to god that they were in.

"Harvey" Mike looked shocked, no doubt surprised that I had just turned up at his place, unannounced "what have I done now?"

I pushed past him, letting myself into his apartment as I paced the length of his living room.

"Harvey…" Mike closed the door and looked at me, a worried expression on his face "Harvey are you okay? Has something happened at work? Have we lost a client?"

I stopped, the information continuously bubbling up inside of me, working its way up my throat, now on the tip of my touch, begging to be heard, begging to escape. "I don't know why I'm here and I don't know why I'm about to tell you this, but for some godforsaken reason I trust you and I see you as a friend."

"O…kay now you're worrying me."

"I'm in trouble."

"What sort of trouble? Criminal? Legal? Financial? C'mon Harvey give me something, how am I supposed to help you if you're being so cryptic?

I inhaled deeply "I think…I think I may be in love with Donna."

* * *

**Okay, sorry I've been AWOL for a few days but I needed a break and I got some hate mail, which was hilarious looking back on it, but at the time kind of made me want to ignore fan fiction for a couple of days. Anyway here's a chapter for you, please review, favorite, follow. Show the love. **

**I dont know if im happy with this chapter, i just needed to set this up for the last few chapters, the next chapter will be nearly all Donna.**

**Depending on the reception I get from this story and you're opinions, I have 2 new stories lined up for when this one is finished, which will be in the next couple of weeks, and trust me, one of them has a crazy good plot idea.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Harvey:**

"WHHHHAAAAT" I watched alarmed as Mike threw his arms into the air and ran around his living room as if he had just had some sort of mental break. He stopped in front of me, waving his hands, fanning his face, mouth wide open "Finally!" he exclaimed, before his expression fell, his eyes narrowing. "Just to clarify before I die from an excitement induced heart attack, you did just admit to me that you have feelings for Donna?"

I rolled my eyes at his stupidity, wondering why the hell I even came here. I nodded "Yes. I have feelings for Donna and I have no idea where the fuck they came from" I walked over to Mike's fridge and helped myself to a beer, kind of wishing that he was still in his lowlife stoner phase, a joint would be most welcome right about now.

"Okay" he breathed, sitting down on the edge of the sofa, finger tapping on his chin in thought. "Oooookay, this is big."

"Really Mike because I thought this was page 27 news kind of stuff." I shot back sarcastically.

"This is front page material Harvey, this is…damn, I knew it, I freaking knew it! Have you told her yet? What has she said? Have you…?"

"Why did I come here?" I muttered to myself, I was talking to a child; I was talking to a fricking embryo. "No Mike, I haven't told her, do you really think I'd be here, talking to _you_ if I had told her that?"

"I guess not…what has happened in the last couple of days to make you suddenly realize something that the rest of the world has known about for years?"

"Okay first thing is first, the world knows nothing. Whatever you or anyone else has gossiped about, is bullshit. Secondly, if I continue to confine in you, this goes no further, or I will skin you alive. I will take great pleasure is separating the skin from your muscles and I will feed it to cats."

Mike bit his lip, nodding very, very slowly "understood."

"Where do I start?" I asked, looking at Mike for an answer. I had no idea where to start, or what was the start. I had known Donna for 10 years, a lot had happened, and I was, only now realizing that all these things that I once thought were insignificant have silently pilled up into one giant emotional curveball that's just hit me square in the face.

"Why don't you start at the very beginning, who knows, if you talk things through chronologically or whatever you may be able to piece things together more easily."

"Alright Oprah." I rolled my eyes

"Do you want my help or not? Because I had a late night booty call scheduled for tonight which I'm on the brink of cancelling because you're having an emotional epiphany"

I scrunched my face up in disgust "you're a baby, I do not need to know the sordid details of your sex life, please keep that to yourself"

"I'm 28 Harvey, I grew out of diapers a few years back." He huffed "start talking, or start walking" he demanded, pointing to the door.

I let out an exaggerated sigh "Fine. When I started at the DA's office I swore to myself that my main focus in life would be work. I had finally landed a job that that was pointing in the right sort of direction of what I wanted to do as a career. I promised myself that I would be professional, that I would go in, do my job, keep my head down and get on with it, there was no room for distractions." I took a swig of my cold beer, leaning back into the couch "I was doing good, I was in line for a promotion within my first six months, I was going places, everything was working out as I planned. I got the promotion and moved departments, excited for a pay rise and the prospect of having assistants to help with the tedious work. So I went out, splashed out on a $500 suit and waltzed into work, head held high, attitude in tact to show everyone whose boss. I had planned my entrance in my head, I was going to make a statement, but I never got the chance to…"

"What happened?" Mike asked, chin resting on his hand as he looked at me as if I was telling him a bedtime story

Donna happened. "I remember approaching the department and hearing raised voices, well rather, one raised voice, and thought to myself that I was about to walk into a fricking jungle. I walked into the room and was floored; it was as if the wind had been knocked right out of me. I couldn't help but watch in awe as this feisty red head verbally slaughtered this poor quivering guy, who I later found out was my superior, because he fucked up with something. I was convinced that whoever this woman was, had to be my boss, or my boss's boss, she owned that room, everyone would do whatever she said at a drop of a hat. She was…hot."

"I take it that this woman was Donna?"

I nodded, smiling at the memory "Yep. I couldn't believe that this woman was my assistant, she intimidated the crap out of me, but you would never catch me telling her that. I don't believe in God but I thought in that moment that God had dropped the perfect woman down in front of me. She was perfect. Hardworking, determined with an attitude that would make you think twice before you spoke to her, not to mention, she was smoking hot. That day I broke the one rule I set my self- no distractions. Whether I liked it or not, Donna became a massive distraction for me. She was me in female form. We got on like a house on fire from the word go, banter flying back and forth in the office, shots of vodka being knocked back out of the office. She soon became the first real friend I had in this city. Everyone else seemed like acquaintances in comparison"

"Cute" I shot Mike a death glare as he frowned "sorry, continue"

"For the first year of knowing her I relentlessly tried it on with her, I was determined to get her without crossing the lines of sexually harassing an employee, but she was oblivious to all my advances."

Mike put up his index finger to silence me, his eyebrows raised "so you're telling me that 10 years ago you had feelings for Donna?"

"Hmm" I moved my head side-to-side "I wouldn't say feelings as such. She was this attractive and completely unattainable woman who I could tolerate, plus she actually had a brain. She was the whole package, she was the top prize. I took her to dinner's, to show's I even took her to meet my father when he came to town, but as far as she was concerned, it was all platonic."

"Wow, that's fucking frustrating."

My eyes went wide in agreement "Right?! I mean it would have been so much easier if she was hot and unattainable with a boyfriend, but no, she had to be single as well!"

"Donna wouldn't be Donna If she did things conventionally" he laughed, getting up to grab another two beers out of the fridge "So what happened next?"

"Nothing, work continued, our friendship grew, she well and truly planted roots into my life. There was no way I could get rid of her. I remember telling her that I was leaving the DA's office, that Jessica had offered me a position at Pearson Hardman, and it was as if I had killed a puppy right in front of her. Her face fell, her usual confident exterior just vanished. She walked out on me, just like she said I was doing to her. I had screwed up. It wasn't my fault, this was my next career move, I couldn't not go through with it became of Donna, but I also couldn't leave Donna behind. So I begged."

"Begged who?"

"Jessica. I told her that I wouldn't work for her unless I could bring Donna with me. She told me associates don't get secretaries, which I knew but wouldn't accept. So I negotiated; I would work for Pearson Hardman on the condition that Donna remained my executive assistant, and her wages would come directly from mine."

"Does Donna know that?!"

I shook my head "are you crazy? Of course not, she would kill me if she knew that I'm the one that pays her wages. She would hit me around the head with an expensive purse that I brought telling me that she was not my property"

Mike laughed "Sounds about right. So you convinced Jessica then…"

"I wanted to tell Donna the good news, but she was still ignoring me, until I got a text from her telling me to come to her place, which was weird because we had never really hung out at her place, it was always at mine, or at a bar. So I went straight from work, eager to tell her the news hoping that she would forgive me, but when I opened the door, I was not expecting…that."

"That?" he questioned, edging forward even more as I gave him a pointed look "is this the…is this _the _night?"

I nodded once more, a smile tugging at my lips as the mental images flooded into my brain "I tried to keep my cool when she opened the door dressed in this tiny little lilac silk thing, with a white cardigan around her shoulders. I tried to be a gentleman, I tried not to stare, but the way she was leaning against the door, the mischievous look upon her face, and the can of whipped cream in her hand-"

"Hold on WHAT?" Mike spluttered shocked, choking on a mouthful of beer

"Shut up Mike, I'm getting to the good part" he shut his mouth " I knew exactly what was going to happen. Donna had done a complete 180 on me, she was the one initiating everything, she was the one making the advances and who was I to decline."

He shook his head in disbelief "How was it, I mean, whipped cream? It doesn't exactly surprise me but still, tell me how it was"

"Mike, I'm a gentleman, I've told you before." She was amazing, it was _amazing_.

"Fine don't tell me the dirty details but at least tell me what happened after, that's a game changer."

"I left. I left her in a exhausted heap on the sheets and I ran."

"Wow, real classy, Specter"

"You would have too if you were In my position. I had spent the last 2 years before that night trying to win her over, and when I accepted the fact that It wasn't going to happen I pushed it out of my brain. Then out of the blue I have mind-blowing sex with my best friend! That brings up some emotional shit that I wasn't willing to deal with without my good friend scotch."

"And…" Mike prompted as I fell silent

"I ignored her for three days. She wasn't even mad that I left her, but I was. Because I didn't want to admit to her nor myself that I wanted that night to be more than a one time thing."

"You basically wanted a friends with benefits situation?" Mike rolled his eyes "That shit never works Harvey, that's why we leave that shit behind in college."

"Mike Ross, the worlds wisest man, with all his life experience. Oh and Mike, you didn't even go to college so shut the fuck up."

"You're such an ass"

I brushed off his lame attempt off a comeback as I continued with my story "No, I didn't want a friends with benefits arrangement, I wanted to actually give it a go. It sounds girly and like a load of shit I know, but we…connected."

"What did she say when you told her that?"

I shrugged, running my hands through my hair, pulling the ends in frustration "I didn't. I couldn't. I didn't want to lose her; I didn't want to scare her off. I'd rather have her in my life as my friend and as my secretary than not having her in my life at all"

"That…that sucks man."

"I got over it, I dated other women, even tried a relationship or two but it was always Donna I came back to, it was always her face I wanted to see at the end of a stressful day, she was the one that could put a smile on my face. She just got me, in every sense possible, she got me."

I watched as the younger man put his hand up to stop me, his brain working in overtime as he tried to understand how dramatic my life outside of being a lawyer, really was. " So you just _got over_ these feelings you had, and for _seven years_ just accepted that you and Donna were just friends with super powers to read each others minds? You never thought anything more of it, questioned how you felt at any point?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing that Mike had trapped me in some sort of invisible corner "Of course I have, it's Donna. But I just dismissed it. I'm a man, and Donna is extremely attractive, if I hadn't accidentally pictured her in an inappropriate manner once or twice, I would be concerned."

"Ugh" he rubbed his temples "I've had to deal with this for 10 minutes and I already have a headache, I have no idea how you've dealt with it for ten years."

"She's worth it" I stated simply, staring intently at the liquid in the bright green glass bottle "…we kissed you know, last night we kissed. And today, a lot."

"Whoa, that jumped the timeline a bit. What the fuck?"

"I was drunk, like fucking out of my mind drunk. She came and got me from a bar and the entire time I was just staring at her, wanting to kiss her."

I lay out on the couch as if I were a patient at a therapist "and why were you drunk?"

"Saw an ex, got wasted. Anyway, I kissed her, like a horny sixteen year old until she pulled away saying we should stop."

"You also said you kissed _today?_ How did that happen if she pushed you away?"

"We argued, she was talking too much so I kissed her to shut her up. Neither of us put up much of a protest. Then to make matters worse, she tries to invite me back to hers! I mean kissing her is one thing, but revisiting _that time_, it's a big jump that could easily ruin us all because of a few stolen kisses"

"Jeez. Have you ever thought about approaching Universal with this? I'm sure they'd love to buy the movie rights to this fucked up story."

"Fuck off." I wasn't in the mood to be mocked by a man that hit puberty last week.

"So you turned her down? You, Harvey Specter, turned down the opportunity to get laid? Something must be wrong."

"Jump off a cliff Mike. If it were anyone else, I would be breaking a sweat right about now, instead of siting in your intolerable company, but…Donna. I care too much about her, if we were to do it, I'd want to do it right, not some desperate fumble with misplaced emotions."

Mike's face broke out into a grin "So you love her?" he sang.

I fell silent, trying to figure that out for myself. Did I love Donna? Of course I loved Donna, that was a stupid question, but was I _in love_ with Donna? "I don't know, I'm not good with my emotions, I don't know how to place feelings into categories. I love her, I know that, but I don't know if I can act upon it."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because she can do better. She's without a doubt the most amazing woman I've ever met and she could have anybody, so why would she want me? I work every hour of every day, I have a heart of stone, I tend to only think about myself, I'm not commitment material"

"In all the time I've known you Harvey, you never played the 'pity' card, so don't start now. I'm not going to sit here and feed you compliments until your ego is reflated. Man the fuck up and decide what you want. You've wasted ten years, don't go and waste another ten because you've finally decided to act like a human."

I got up off of the chair and walked to the window, the restricted view of the city instantly making me miss the view from my condo. "I'm going to say this once so you better listen carefully… but you're right."

"I'm what now?" I looked over my shoulder, unimpressed to see Mike in the middle of some sort of happy dance, or perhaps it was a seizure, I couldn't really tell the difference.

"You Michael Ross are right." I spoke slowly and deliberately, letting the kid have his moment.

He balled both of his fists as he simultaneously brought his arms towards "this is the best moment in my entire life" he said, feigning emotion as he wiped an invisible tear from his eye. I gave him a death glare, fighting the temptation to slap that stupid expression off of his face. "So now what?"

"No idea" I said nonchalantly as I turned back to stare out the window "I don't even know how she feels"

"Have you ever thought about just doing it the old fashioned way, you know, trying to 'woo' her?"

"Woo her? Seriously Mike, some of the shit that comes out of your mouth…"

"Shut up and listen. If you're scared about just telling her, then win her over, that way you can adjust to whatever the hell you're feeling and get the girl without throwing a bomb of information in her face."

"Fine" I sighed, seeing no other option, my shoulder still feeling heavy even though I had successfully unloaded my thoughts and worries on Mike. "Thank you" I said quietly, yet sincerely giving Mike a small smile.

He grinned, "You're welcome. Now leave, you're making the place look untidy, and I could still probably get Rachel over."

"Ew, I'm going" I zipped up my jacket and walked towards the door, patting him firmly on the shoulder as I passed him, slamming the door behind me

"Rachel!" he screamed, his voice permeating through the door as I rolled my eyes, not even 20 seconds had passed and he had already hastily called his girlfriend "You'll never guess what? You won't believe it. That $20 is mine!"

* * *

**Donna:**

I honestly deserved an award; I was becoming an expert at avoiding people and awkward situations. However my specialty was avoiding Harvey shaped issues, specifically stemming from him rejecting me the other night. A night I would quite happily deny ever existed. Was I humiliated when he turned down the offer to come inside?

Yeah, to put it lightly. I was mortified. I was Donna Paulsen for crying out loud, no man has _ever_ turned me down and for Harvey Specter, international ladies man to run away scared, well that's just…really fucking shitty. That does damage to anyone's self esteem, even me.

But the real question on your lips is why I even tried it on with him to begin with? Well I wish I could answer that for you, hell; I wish I could answer that for me, but the truth is, I had no goddamn idea. I wasn't even drunk! I couldn't blame it on cheap margaritas, or dancing with pretty boys all night, I had just sat in a car, with Harvey Specter, for hours. Perhaps I was in the midst of a mental breakdown, or suffering from a one off case of a split personality disorder.

Maybe, just maybe, I just lost my fricking mind somewhere down the I-80.

I don't know what I expected when he kissed me for the second, third or twentieth time, perhaps a small part of me finally thought he had finally caught up, that after ten years he had finally opened his eyes and seen what had been staring him in the face for such a long time. But in reality it was a drunken kiss that turned into Harvey pushing his luck, testing our boundaries whilst satisfying his urges. I guess I should be impressed or even grateful that he was still gentlemanly enough to decline my offer, but I was just mad. Mad that I let him kiss me, mad that I tried to sleep with him, mad that I had probably gone and screwed everything up, _again._

So I did what I do best when situations get a little hairy, I hide. I had spent the entire weekend in the confines of my apartment consuming unspeakable amounts of cake mixture, mainly because I was too impatient to wait for it to cook, and drink copious amounts of wine. I had screened every incoming call, and ignored every knock at my door, as far as the world was concerned, I had disappeared. But of course, time is never on my side and Monday had rolled around all too quickly, meaning that seeing, speaking and generally being around Harvey was unavoidable.

"Donna" Harvey's voice knocked me out of my daydream as I looked at him through the glass. See what I mean?

"Yeah?" I replied, speaking into the intercom

"Can you please call Mike and Rachel to my office please, and can you pop your head in when they arrive as well." I nodded slowly, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as my fingers slowly tapped away at the phone, calling their extensions. What on earth did Harvey want with Rachel, Mike and me? I watched as Mike and Rachel walked down the corridor, a similar puzzled look upon their face as they walked past me. Pushing my chair back, I got up, adjusting my teal wrap around dress as I joined them in Harvey's office, taking a seat on the other side of the room.

"What have we done?" mike spoke up, quickly jumping to conclusions, his left leg shaking profusely.

Harvey leant back in his chair, his arms extending into the air before resting his hands on the back of his head "For once Mike, you haven't actually screwed up". I laughed silently to myself as Mike let out a relieved breath, his shoulders relaxing as his expression of worry was replaced with that of confusion.

"So why the hell are we all here then? Are you dying? Is this you telling us that you're dying?"

The older man rolled his eyes at the boy "No Mike, but if you actually shut your mouth for a goddamn second I might actually be able to tell you why you're here"

"Okay" he smiled, sinking into the sofa.

"So the err…holidays are coming up next week and I know that regardless of the time of year work is manic, and time off to see our family is pretty much a no go, so I was wondering if you wanted Thanksgiving at my condo, the four of us."

My mouth fell open in shock and both Mike and Rachel looked at each other in disbelief. What. The. Fuck. "Sorry, you want us to spend thanksgiving together?" I asked, I just had to.

He shrugged "Yeah, could be fun, that is if Mike doesn't act like an ass."

"But why?" Mike asked.

"Because as much as I hate the holidays, I'd rather not be alone, and I'd rather have company I can tolerate whilst I consume I shit load of chicken and a bottle of bourbon. I'm not going to ask again, so either you're in or you're out."

I was silenced as I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. My parents were going to be on a cruise next week so I was going to be spending thanksgiving alone anyway, but then again…Harvey? "Sure" I smiled, knowing that if I didn't speak, the other two certainly wouldn't.

"Yeah sounds good."

"Right on!" Mike added, throwing his fist in the air.

"Okay great, you can all leave now."

Rachel and Mike scurried out of the room whispering with wide eyes as I slowly got up off my chair to walk towards the door.

"Not you Donna, I need to talk with you" Fuck, shit, bollocks. I turned around slowly, trying to quickly wipe the grimace of my face, as locked eyes with him

"What can I do for you Harvey?" I asked sweetly, giving him the best fake smile I could muster. He got up off his chair slowly, his fingers undoing the button on his suit jacket as he stuffed one hand in his pocket, the other scratching his head nervously. Nervously? Why the hell was Harvey nervous? Was it even an emotion he knew how to portray?

He took a step towards me, a reasonable amount of distance still between us. "How are you? We haven't really had chance to talk-"

"Great!" I interrupted, sounding overly chirpy

"…Good" Harvey nodded, a bit taken back by my enthusiasm "Hey, I was actually wanting to ask you something…"

"I'm _super_ busy Harvey, If you just add it to my list, I'll get on it as soon as I can"

"Actually, it's not work related."

"Oh" well damn, I didn't have anything prepared to get out of a situation like this. "Okay…well what is it?"

"I was erm… I was wondering if you wanted to go for dinner tonight? There's this Thai place I've been meaning to try out for ages"

I scrunched my face up, damn Harvey, why did you have to go and ask that? "I'm really sorry but I don't want to play the pretend girlfriend game anymore, tell whatever family member that's coming into town that I'm really sorry"

"No, no" he shook his head, taking a couple more steps towards me, my heart rate increasing as the space between us decreased. "There is no family member, no act."

"Then why?" I asked confused, how could he ask me to dinner when things between us were still incredibly awkward, did the guy really not care about what happened the other day? What an ass.

"Because" he exhaled deeply, closing his eyes momentarily "I want to take you out to dinner, just you and me."

"Like for a post work meeting?" I questioned

"No, like a date" he clarified, his voice firm.

I cocked my head to the side, narrowing my eyes as I laughed, "you're kidding right?"

He shook his head, his expression hard "Nope, I'm serious, I want to take you out on a date."

My face fell as I took a seat, my head pounding, my heart racing, I didn't understand. "W-Where has this come from?"

"Don't question it, just say yes."

"I err, um…Y-y-yeah okay." I stuttered, feeling flushed.

A grin erupted on Harvey's face "Brilliant" he clapped his hands together "I'll pick you up at 8"

I nodded wordlessly, my body turning onto autopilot, as I walked out the office like a zombie. I looked at my desk, hearing the phone ring, my eyes burning into the handset as I just stared. Looking around the corridor I noticed everyone else busily working away. I took a deep breath and walked past my cubicle, my pace gaining momentum with every step closer to my destination.

"Rachel!" I screeched, approaching her office "Rachel!" I repeated as I stormed in "Code…I don't fucking know! I need your help. Oh my god, what the fuck" I flailed my arms in the air as I found it difficult to breath, my chest heaving up and down as I tried to calm myself down. I spun around, Louis catching my eye, watching me intensely through the glass as I continued my freak out. I let out a shaky breath as I momentarily composed myself, raising my right hand up in the air as I extended my middle finger towards Louis. Rachel laughed from behind me as his eyes went wide with fear, his legs hurriedly walking away.

"What's up Donna?" she asked as I shakily sat down on the vacant chair, a thin layer of sweat forming on my forehead as I continued to work myself up.

"H-Harvey" I stammered out, gripping onto the desk as I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. "Harvey. He err.. Harvey"

She rolled her eyes "Oh what a surprise that Harvey is at the center of this weeks mental breakdown."

I should have been offended, hell, I would have been offended if I had any control over my words or movements, yet instead I was a stuttering mess with a brain unable to process the last ten minutes of my life. "Harvey asked me out on a date" I blurted out quickly, unable to hold it in any longer, my hand flying to my mouth.

Her mouth fell open as she dropped her pen on the desk "what?" she asked incredulously, probably thinking she misheard what I had said.

"I don't know!" I exclaimed "I think I hit my head, entered an alternate universe and then Harvey Specter asked me out on a date!"

"Like a date date?"

I nodded "yeah. He wants to take me for dinner"

"You've gone for dinner together hundreds of times, what's different about now?"

Are you kidding me? Is she seriously trying to downplay this for me? "The difference is that this is a DATE!" I practically screamed, "Dinner with Harvey is _always_ categorized, that's just what he does. He specifies whether it's a work or a social outing, and dependent on the nature, he picks certain cuisines. Harvey used the word date; he used the word date in a sentence directed at _me. ME."_

"Well this is big."

"Big? This is massive, gigantic, colossal" I clarified

"You did say yes, right?"

"Yeah…but, a date Rachel, this is new territory for Harvey and I, what is I fuck it up? What if he fucks it up, what happens then?"

"Then you cross that bridge _if_ it comes to it. Just go for it Donna, Harvey is hot. What have you got to lose?"

I frowned as I ran my hand through my hair "Him. I could lose him. He's been a prominent figure in my life for the last ten years Rachel, I'm not sure what life would be like without him."

Rachel got up off her chair and walked around the desk, grabbing my hands, and yanking me up until I was standing up, towering over her. "Donna, look at me" she said as she shook me "you are Donna Paulsen, you are an unstoppable force who is not only gorgeous, but smart and funny." I smiled, my body relaxing "Man the fuck up." I choked out a laugh as Rachel grinned, letting me go.

"Okay" I could do this "thank you."

She took a step back "Now go knock him dead." I smiled, making my way towards the door, feeling approximately 15% more confident when Rachel spoke up again "Oh and Donna? Normally I would say don't put out on the first date, but this is Harvey Specter so if the opportunity arises, go for it, I will not judge you. I would judge you more if you didn't."

I felt my cheeks burn as I moved my gaze to the ground, letting my hair fall in front of my face. Oh god if only she knew.

* * *

**Harvey:**

"Mike you're an ass and I hate you!" I seethed, panicked as I paced my office, Mike happily munching away on a bagel as he looked at me with a blank expression.

"Half an hour ago you were inviting me to Thanksgiving at yours and now you're shouting mean things at me, stop being so fucking bipolar with me and just accept that you love me like a son and unfortunately you cant adopt me."

I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples, my patience wearing increasingly thin and Mike being a smartass was not helping "I should have never come to you, I should have never asked for your stupid Dr Phil advice"

His face changed in recognition as he pointed towards me, a smug grin forming on his lips "What have you gone and done Mr luvva luvva?"

I shook my head, trying to hide my amusement, maintaining the hard exterior "I asked her on a date."

Mike broke out into applause before giving me a standing ovation "my boy is all grown up"

"I will end you if you don't shut up" I threatened, still pacing.

"Oh lighten up Harvey! I take it she said yes?"

I nodded, letting out a shaky breath "she did but she looked terrified. I think she would have looked more relaxed if I had held a gun to her head"

Mike scoffed, trying to fight back a laugh "I'm sorry but your face… I've never seen you nervous, it's pretty endearing, borderline cute." I hit Mike across the head "Ouch!"

"Go and do some work before I fire your ass"

"Aye aye Captain, just as long as you find enough time to read the Lietchman case amongst the inevitable wedding and white picket fence searches you're going to make on google"

"Leave."

Mike smirked as he grabbed his, giving me two thumbs up before skipping out of the office. God I hated that kid sometimes.

* * *

**Donna:**

Am I showing too much leg? Am I showing enough boob? I sighed, sometimes I fucking hated being a girl. I stared at myself in the mirror; a frown on my face as I just looked at my reflection, getting frustrated at every little detail that usually wouldn't bother me. The curls in my hair weren't taking as well as they usually do, my eyeliner not as symmetrical as I would have liked, my bra not as comfortable as I remember. Everything was going wrong and It wasn't even 8pm. I reached for my glass of wine, a small one might I add, taking a small sip as I checked myself out from every angle. I was wearing a simple yet elegant navy wrap dress, a thin gold belt under my bust, accentuating my curves.

I checked the time on my phone, gulping harshly as the clock ticked over to 8pm and as if on queue I heard the car horn from downstairs. I gathered my purse, taking one last look at myself in the mirror as I hurried downstairs, trying not to break my neck, or my heels, especially my heels. As cliché as it sounds my heart literally stopped as saw him leaning against the car, dressed in a dark pair of jeans and a black shirt. Shit that man knew how to look good.

"You look…" he started, trying to find the words

"Incredible, breathtaking, beautiful…" I filled in the gaps, giving him one of my signature smiles, finding my confidence.

"Gorgeous" he finished, smiling widely, his eyes shamelessly doing the once over."

"I would like to say that I try, but that's a lie, I roll out of bed looking like this" I winked, Harvey didn't need to know that this took three hours to create.

"These are for you"

I gulped as he handed me a bouquet of flowers, my hands trembling as I wrapped my fingers around the stems, my eyes gazing appreciatively at the colorful arrangement, practically identical to that same bouquet he gave me the first night we pretended to be together. "They're beautiful" I commented, smiling.

"I know that last time I gave you these flowers they weren't for the right reasons, so I wanted to fix that."

I ducked my face, hiding the blush that was creeping onto my cheeks, he had remembered.

"Are you sure you haven't got anything else on tonight?" I asked, double-checking that he had thought this through, giving him once last chance to bail.

He shook his head; opening the car door for me "The only thing I've got going on tonight is you."

* * *

**Okay so I had to steal that line from the end of the latest episode because I squealed like an over excited girl. It was cute. So I don't think I like this chapter, but let me know, my minds been a bit preoccupied **

**Hope you liked the chapter, show me the love, and I'll try and update really soon. Next chapter is the date and thanksgiving. Which is good, ive already finished writing that chapter.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Donna:**

I love first dates, I love the excitement that consumes you for the entire day before, I love the painstaking task of finding something to wear even though at the time you want to jump off a cliff, I loved getting to know somebody. I loved impressing the pants off someone. Not literally of course.

Okay, well, sometimes literally.

But out of all the first date's I've been on in my…okay I'm not going to willingly admit my age, this date was going to be something else. I mean, how the hell do you just switch off friend and work mode, and turn it into something that is supposed to be remotely attractive or flirtatious? Banter was the norm between Harvey and I, it has always been a constant between us, and yes, sometimes it could be seen as suggestive, flirtatious or even a little filthy, but we did that with no hidden intentions. Now, now I have alter everything towards a goal of…well I don't even have a fricking clue.

I don't even know why I'm currently sitting in Harvey Specter's car, his hand placed absentmindedly on my knee, going towards a destination completely unknown to me. A date with Harvey Specter had always been a repetitive dream of mine over the last ten years, but now it was a reality, I was just dreading it.

My stomach felt as if millions of butterflies were having some serious drug induced rave, yet I couldn't ignore the waves of nausea that would wash over me every time I let my mind drift off and question the meaning of tonight.

Why did he ask me on a date? Why, why why!

I gave Harvey a tight-lipped smile as he gently squeezed my knee, no doubt realizing that I was in the middle of a mental episode and my attention was on anything but the present. "You're unusually quiet"

I shook my head, knocking myself out of my daze "just admiring the flowers"

"They do little justice for the woman that's holding them."

I laughed, trying to distract Harvey from noticing the blush that had appeared on my cheeks, not wanting to let him know that his words affected me in any way "Is that what you say to all the ladies?"

He tried to look offended but it ended up in a standard Harvey Specter eye roll, his gaze momentarily moving towards the window, assessing where we were "Perhaps, but I rarely mean it."

"And how do I know if you don't mean it now?" I raised an eyebrow, giving him the classic 'Donna' look.

"Because I've never been nervous for a date before in my life, and right now, I'm terrified." I could have died; right there and then; the combination of his words in conjunction with the uncharacteristically timid expression on his face causing my heart to nearly explode.

"Cute" I mused, instantly scolding myself for being so sarcastic when Harvey had actually vocalized vulnerability.

"We're here," he announced, his face breaking out into a massive grin as the car came to a halt. I scrunched up my face as I peered out the window, silently slipping out of the car as Harvey held open the door. "Do you remember this place?" he asked, taking my hand in his as we stood outside a building that had been unoccupied for years, the exterior showing its age and lack of maintenance.

I smiled slightly, looking around the familiar neighborhood, it looked so different, but at the same time, so familiar. "I do" I replied quietly, a wave of sadness washing over me "I loved this place"

"Me too."

We both stood silently for a few seconds, staring at the old café, remembering the memories we had created within those four walls. This café was _our _place. Just a block or two away from our old DA's office, 'Sergio's' was where the two of us would spend most of our free time; having a coffee, bunking off work or just sitting silently in each others company as we people watched. "We would come here everyday"

He nodded "I think there was a time where the both of us spent more time here than at our actual apartments" I smiled in agreement, even when we had moved on to Pearson Hardman we would always make the journey down here, wanting to hang on to a tradition that had helped create the foundations of our friendship.

"You were devastated when this place closed down." I reminded him, the mental images of Harvey throwing a Starbucks coffee cup across his office like a child having a tantrum, filling my mind.

"Err, so were you! I had to buy you a new bag to 'get over it'"

I rolled my eyes "You make it sound like that wasn't a good enough reason"

Harvey dug his spare hand into his jacket pocket; pulling out a single key "C'mon, I want to show you something" I silently followed his lead, gripping on tightly to his hand as we crossed the street towards Sergio's. I watched in confusion as he put the key in the lock, turning it as it granted him access to a building that had not been in business for nearly two years. "Close your eyes"

I looked at him, as if to say 'are you serious?' as he just gave me a pointed look. I sighed, closing my eyes, letting Harvey blindly guide me into the building.

"Okay, you can open your eyes" I hesitated for a few seconds, my eyes still firmly closed, unsure of what I was about to see. "Donna" he prompted.

I slowly opened one eye, the other eye opening quickly as I gazed in awe at the sight before me. I couldn't hide my shocked expression, as I looked around, my mind unable to comprehend any of it. "Well…" he started, scratching the back of his neck nervously as he looked at me for an answer. "What do you think?"

What did I think? I blew out a breath as I shook my head "Harvey, this is…this is… wow." He smiled at my response, or lack of response should I say, it truly was beautiful. The interior was just how I remembered it, the building still having the same charm regardless of its bare appearance. "Is this where you disappeared to this afternoon?" I asked, trying to put two and two together.

He nodded "Maybe"

I just continued to shake my head, not believing that this was all real, that Harvey had done this for _me._ The room was filled with candles, the lights flickering away, the old bar top littered with the most gorgeous red roses I had ever seen, our booth set ready for what I presume was going to be dinner. "I can't believe you did this"

"Take a seat, I'll go get everything" I nodded, sliding into the booth, my cheeks beginning to ache from the smile that was on my face. Harvey disappeared into the back as I fought the urge to dig out my phone from my purse and contact Rachel, hell, I wanted to call fricking Ellen to let her know that this right here, was a story she could have on her show.

_World's best date_…

Okay perhaps that's a little premature, _but_ on the thoughtfulness scale, this was off the charts. I smiled as Harvey reappeared holding a bottle of wine and a bag. "So…" he opened the bottle of wine and poured us both a glass "I normally just take a girl to a fancy restaurant and hope that she is so overwhelmed and impressed by it that it makes up for the lack of thought I actually put into it, but with you, I didn't want to do that" He sat down opposite me, taking a large sip of his wine.

"And why's that?"

He placed the glass down and looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read, "Because you're Donna. You're special to me. A generic five star restaurant didn't seem right, I wanted to show you that I was serious when I asked you out on a date."

"I can see why you're so lucky with the ladies," I blurted out, unable to refrain from making a comment. "The Harvey Specter charm is real"

"The Harvey Specter charm?"

I placed both of my hands palm down on the table, leaning over the table slightly "you know exactly what I'm on about, the charm that has helped you talk yourself out of many bad situations and into many beds."

"Is that so?" he asked with the raise of an eyebrow "we'll have to see how well the Harvey Specter charm plays out tonight then."

"I'm not sleeping with you" I laughed, trying to keep what little class I still had intact. Besides he was the one that turned me down the other night, it was only fair to make him sweat it out a little.

"Yes ma'am" he saluted, shooting me a wink as he opened the bag that was beside him. "I'm sorry it's not gourmet, but I thought this would be okay"

He pulled out several Tupperware containers with a familiar logo across the front; my face breaking out into a smile "Is that what I think it is…"

He nodded, opening the containers, placing them in the middle of the table, the aroma, filling my senses, causing my stomach to rumble in anticipation. "You're favorite."

"_Our favorite_" I stressed as I stared at the food lovingly "did you go all the way to Queens for this?"

"It's amazing what someone will deliver for the right price"

I greedily tucked into the boxes of Mexican street food from this amazing little restaurant hidden at the back of a bar in the middle of Queens, one of New York's hidden gems. "Do you remember how we found this place?"

Harvey shoved a forkful of food into his mouth, a mischievous grin forming on his face "you mean when you called me up at three in the morning telling me that for some reason you had got a train and taxi into Queens instead of Brooklyn because you were so drunk that you were convinced you lived there?"

My expression fell, hoping he didn't remember it in that much detail "you make it sound so much worse than it was!" I defended myself, feeling slightly embarrassed of my younger self.

"I couldn't make it sound any better if I tried" he laughed, leaning back into the leather booth, his laughter echoing around the café, like music to my ears. "I found you sitting on a curb, with four boxes of this stuff in your hands and stuffed in your bag, as you sang Britney Spears songs to a cat that was looking at you as if you were demented"

I bit my lip, hiding my face with my hand embarrassed. I groaned "that does sound pretty bad, but not only did you get to play the hero, you got some amazing food out of it"

"I also got some pretty amazing photos"

I froze, my eyes narrowing as his widened, realizing what he had just said "you have photographic evidence?" I whisper shouted, hearing this information for the first time.

"No!" he quickly retracted, turning his attention to his food. I leant over the table and grabbed the fork out of his hand, holding it in the air above my head

"Liar! Where is this evidence and who has seen it?"

"On my computer at home, and no one I swear" I slowly brought my arm back down, handing the fork back

"I want to see them, and then I want you to delete them"

"Only if you delete all the baby photos you have of me off your phone" he negotiated, unable to leave the lawyer at home.

"But you look cute in them!"

He rolled his eyes "I would have countered with saying that you looked cute in the photos too, but you didn't"

I reached over to slap him on the arm playfully as he caught my hand, interlocking our fingers before placing it on the table "You look beautiful now though" he commented

"Can I ask you a question?" curiosity getting the better of me, he nodded. "Why did you ask me on a date?" It was a legitimate question, a question that I had been trying to figure out an answer to for hours with no luck.

"I don't want to have a heavy conversation about feelings right now, I just wanted to okay? You and I have been so close for all this time, and besides that one night, we had never really explored any other avenue than being friends. I care about you lot Donna, you are without fail the most important person in my life, and I know I can be a bit of an inconsiderate hard ass sometimes-"

"All the time" I interrupted his lovely heartfelt speech, unable to control myself

"All the time" he corrected with a smile "but you put the smile on my face at the end of a tough day, you're the one i want to share my news with, you're my rock, and my life would be pretty shitty without you."

"I…" I tried to respond, but the words weren't coming out.

"I don't want to look back on my life in ten or twenty years time and wonder what if."

I gulped harshly at the sincerity of his words, my emotions bubbly over like a cauldron as I leapt out my seat, leaning over the booth as I crashed my lips against his, taking him by surprise. He grabbed the back of my head as he pulled me closer, his lips taking my bottom lip captive for as long as possible before we both had to break away for air.

"Sorry" I apologized sheepishly, wiping away the smudges of my lipstick from his mouth.

"Don't ever apologize for that." He smiled.

"Sorry" i muttered again, now feeling embarrassed.

The minutes ticked into hours before we realized that our bottle of wine was empty and our food had gone cold. I smiled, leaning against Harvey, who had at some point during the evening sat next to me, feeling completely content with life. My previous reservations about tonight with Harvey had all been an unnecessary worry, we just clicked. Neither of us felt awkward, nor felt the need to be anyone other than ourselves around one another, it was as if this whole dating thing was the norm.

Am I glad I went on this date? Yes.

But also no, because now… now I really was a goner. Ten years I had spent fantasizing about this man beside me, only fueling the fire with that one night, and now after all this time, my thoughts had become reality, and the affects on my emotions were even more catastrophic than I had anticipated.

And trust me, I had anticipated it, and more.

Harvey Specter was the perfect man. The perfect, arrogant, self important, sarcastic, man.

I'm doomed.

I'm going never going to be able to get over this, I'm going to die alone, in a house full of cats I resent, watching reruns of Greys anatomy, wishing that the world would have just swallowed me whole back in 2011.

"Do you want to come back to mine?" he asked coyly, throwing his arm around my shoulder.

I twisted my neck to look at him better, my expression hardening ever so slightly "I told you already, I'm not sleeping with you on the first date" I said firmly, a small smile tugging at my lips

"Well I don't want to sleep with you either"

"Hey!" I exclaimed, "I'm a catch."

"I know, but I want to do this right, I'm going to go against my usual advice, and take things slow."

Ugh, fuck Harvey for being such a gentleman, now I just wanted him even more. "So why are you inviting me back to yours?"

He sighed, "truth be told, I'm not ready to say goodnight yet."

"It's past eleven Harvey, we both have work in the morning" I reasoned, trying to sound responsible. God, I hate responsible Donna, she's such a drag.

He shrugged "When's my first appointment?"

"Ten thirty" I replied instantly, impressed that I knew that.

"Then that's fine, Mike can hold the fought until then, and as far as I'm concerned you have a prior engagement that means you cant start until then either."

"One day you're going to get us both fired…again"

"My name is above the goddamn door, we can do whatever we like"

* * *

**Harvey:**

I don't understand why we had to stop for chocolate chip and banana ice cream on the way home if you're just going to pick the chocolate chips out of it" I complained, watching Donna in amusement as she skillfully picked out the pieces she wanted from the carton.

"You have your own tub, I don't see how this effects you." She shot back, mouth full of ice cream as she snuggled up further under the blanket, eyes fixated on the soppy film she had picked.

"What even is this film?" I asked, scrunching up my face

"P.S I love you!" she exclaimed, "It's about a dead guy and his wife and her journey of moving on blah blah blah"

I nodded slowly, forcing myself to not roll my eyes "sounds great". In all honesty, it didn't bother me, I was just happy to have her beside me. The date went perfectly, in fact, it's probably the best date I've ever been on, which is surprising as the prospect of sex is completely off the table.

What? I'm a man, we think about this stuff, a lot.

So do you girls, so don't pretend that you're the innocent party here.

After my mini break down with Mike he forced me into the file room, telling me that I couldn't leave until I had figured out where I was taking Donna. A bullshit move by the pup, who had all of a sudden thought that he was the one with his name above the door, but once again, a move I regrettably thanked him for. I had spent an hour on the phone trying to find whoever had the rights to Sergio's vacant building, and then another hour, plus a massive wad of cash convincing them to let me have the key and use the building for a night. All the trouble was worth it. She looked incredible, and her face when she had seen what I had done was all that I needed. I had done good.

We talked, joked and reminisced for hours, ignoring the rest of the world as we enjoyed each others company in a place that meant so much to us. But the best part of the date, obviously, was when she planted one on me out of the middle of nowhere. Actions speak louder than words, and when Donna is nervous or overwhelmed by something, her usual chatty demeanour is replaced by a far more timid one, reliant on physicals actions to express her feelings.

"God he is soo good looking" Donna commented, staring at the main character, her mouth hanging open.

"I'm better looking" I commented, giving the TV a death glare. Yep, that's right, I was jealous of an actor in a film.

Donna moved her attention away from the TV to my face "Really? I tell you what, the day you come in with a sexy Irish accent, is the day I'll accept that you're the better looking one."

"I am the better looking one" I replied instantly in an Irish accent, catching her off guard "that's right Donna, I'm the whole package"

"Any chance I can downgrade the package from douche bag extraordinaire to modest lawyer?"

I scoffed "why would you trade the top model for a cheaper, less efficient, less impressive model" I winked.

"You're so full of yourself, why do I even like you?"

"I think you'll find that what you were supposed to say was 'why am I so into you'?"

* * *

I rolled my eyes as my phone went off, interrupting our movie marathon as I looked at the clock on my screen, who the fuck was calling me at 1am? "I'll be right back" I said to Donna, ripping the blanket away from me as I excused myself and went onto the balcony

"Whoever this is better have a goddamn good reason for calling me at this time" I answered, my voice already full of annoyance

"_What up girlfriendddddd" _I rolled my eyes as I recognized that voice instantly, even though they were pretending to be a girl.

"Mike" I seethed. "Why are you calling?"

"_You didn't call me to tell me how the date went so I called you, I was waiting all night man_!"

"Mike, we are not girlfriends, we do not spend Friday nights sitting in your bedroom braiding each other's hair, I don't have to tell you how the date went." I looked out at the city, shaking my head at how ridiculous this kid was.

"_Ouch, and here I was planning our next sleepover together."_

"You're an ass"

"_Just tell me how it went. NOW"_

"Do you know your level of emotional investment in mine and Donna's relationship is fucking creepy, right?"

_"__So it's a relationship?!" _he squealed excitedly, misconstruing my words.

"The date was fine Mike"

"_Fine? You freak out about your sudden feelings for Donna and you describe the date as fine?"_

"It was great Mike, now shut the fuck up and go to sleep, I am not babysitting a grumpy associate in the morning because he hasn't had enough beauty sleep"

"_You think I'm pretty"_

"Seriously Mike, shut the fuck up before I come down to Brooklyn, and shove the phone in your hand so far up your ass…"

"_Okay, okay, I've got it. I'll see you tomorrow Mr Luvva, Luvva. Sweet dreams"_

I hung up on him, rolling my eyes as I couldn't help but wonder why the hell I didn't call the cops the moment he stormed into my interview that day with a suitcase full of weed. I stuff my phone in my sweatpants pocket as I let myself back into my apartment, a soft laugh escaping my lips as my gaze fell on Donna. She had fallen asleep, hair splayed under her head, half hanging off the sofa, spoon still in her hand.

I stood in front of her, feeling slightly wrong for just staring, but I couldn't help it, how had it taken me this long to realize just how beautiful she is? I laughed silently as she stirred, moving into an almost unhuman position, her mouth falling open as soft snores escaped her lips. She looked utterly peaceful. I debated whether I should leave her on the sofa or not, knowing that there was no point waking her and making her go across town at this time of night. I gently scooped Donna up off the sofa, letting her head rest against my shoulder, as I tiptoed across my apartment towards the bedroom. Bending down, Donna still asleep in my arms, I pulled back the covers, putting her softly down on the mattress before tucking her in. A small smile crept across my lips as she rolled over, mumbling something incoherent before settling again. I turned off the TV in the other room, turning the lights off as I crept into bed, blindly draping my arm around her waist as I pulled her towards me. My body relaxed at the sound of her slow but steady breathing. I took one final glance at her in the dark as I pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting my eyes close, my thoughts swamped by her until I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Hello! So I know I said it was going to be the date and thanksgiving, but I worked a 14 hour shift yesterday and a 12 hour one today and I am deadddddd. But I have a deal to cut with you. I go to Barcelona on Tuesday and I'm pretty busy until then but, if you do these following things, this is what will happen….**

**-Review the hell out of this chapter, like never before, I know you can do it, I'll update tomorrow (Wednesday) and then again Friday and then Sunday. But we got to meet half way.**

**-I'm currently the 2****nd**** most reviewed Darvey fic on here, get me to first place and I will post the first chapter of my new fic on Thursday.**

**So, forgive me for only doing the date, I hope you liked it. Do your thing! And hopefully see you with an update tomorrow ;)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Harvey:**

I stood in the middle of the supermarket, hands gripped tightly onto the trolley as I stared blankly at the array of food in front of me. What the hell do you even need for a thanksgiving dinner? This was a nightmare; I knew I should have just paid someone to do all of this for me, why did I remotely think I was capable of creating a decent thanksgiving meal for four people? At this rate they'd all be lucky to eat a cracker and a chunk of cheese. I let out a frustrated sigh, letting my eyes close as I tried to not get worked up over the current situation; everything was going to be okay.

"Hey Harvey, can we please get this?" I threw my head back and bit my lip as Mike came bounding before me, still dressed in his suit, excitedly holding on to a handful of processed sugary goods "please?" he pouted.

"It's like I actually have a child." I muttered out loud, rolling my eyes as he threw the stuff into the trolley, a wide smile on his face. "What are you going to do with all of that?" I pointed, staring at the contents of the trolley, now filled with candy, chips and soft drinks.

"Eat it?" he questioned as if it was the most obvious answer in the world "Thanksgiving is about indulging, and I want to indulge until I have cavities"

"And you expect me to pay for all of that?" I raised an eyebrow

He nodded "You're the one that invited us, its only polite"

"I should have just left you at the office, or given your services to Louis. He's been nagging me all week to have you" I laughed as Mike scrunched up his face

"He's just really fucking weird sometimes, Harvey"

I pushed the trolley down the aisle, Mike following closely behind "you don't have to tell me that, did you see the mugs he was handing out to everyone the other week? Weird."

"Didn't you get one?"

"Donna tried to give me one, but It broke" I replied nonchalantly, picking up a variety of fresh vegetables and placing them in the cart.

"And how did it break Harvey?" he asked, knowing that there was high probability that it's demise was not accidental.

"It fell out of my hand in a horizontal motion at a considerable speed and smashed upon contact with the wall, a completely accidental occurrence."

"You're a bad person, you know that right?" I narrowed my eyes at Mike as haphazardly threw items into the cart, ticking them off the shopping list Donna had created the pair of us, just in case we admitted defeat. "How the hell are you going to prepare all of this on your own, have you even used the oven in your condo before?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. In fact, I have, on several occasions, but as for making dinner, Donna is helping me prepare everything."

"Awww" he cooed, holding the potato in his arm like a baby "how cute, my boy is getting serious"

"One day you're going to find yourself at the bottom of the East River if you don't shut up."

"Stop being so goddamn uptight" Mike replied, his voice firm as we approached the self service check out "any mention of Donna and you tense up and deflect, its irritating."

"You're irritating" I shot back immaturely as I started scanning the items

"See? You wont even tell me how your first date went, let alone the second one."

"Because it's none of your business"

"You made it my goddamn business the time you showed up to my house professing your undying love for her to me, and the time after that, not to mention the file room, so excuse me, but this is my business. My natural reaction would be to laugh in Mike's face as he lectured me but I kept calm, my lips pursed in a tight line as I let the kid vent.

"Have you finished menstruating?" I asked, focusing on packing the shopping as Mike stood beside me, arms crossed

"Well that depends on whether or not you've finished being an asshole"

"It's my only genetic imperfection, so I'm afraid you've got to love me for me" I swiped my credit card absentmindedly, ignoring the total, before stuffing my wallet into my pants pocket, my hand reaching up to loosen the tie around my neck.

"I hate you" he responded sarcastically as he grabbed a handful of bags and shoved them in the back of Ray's car

"No you don't" I countered

"No I don't" he agreed, frowning as I just rolled my eyes. "But I do wonder if my life would have been more stress free if I hadn't barged into your interview that day."

"Kid, I ask myself that, every goddamn day."

* * *

**Donna:**

"I'm sorry but you are crazy if you think I'm going to stick my hand, in there…" Harvey stared at the Turkey, wide eyed, a horrified expression on his face.

I scoffed; folding my arms across my chest "You have _got to be kidding me_ if you think I'm going to do that, I've just had these" I wiggled my nails In front of him "done. There's no way."

"I'm not doing it" he repeated, trying to stand his ground, adjusting the frilly pink apron I made him wear

"I'm sure your hands have been in similar places"

"Ew" he exclaimed, his face scrunching in disgust "Donna! No… no, you're not allowed to say those kind of things"

I laughed at his reaction as I continued chopping the potatoes, dosing them in goose fat before placing them on a pan ready to be roasted "sorry, I couldn't help it. Man up and shove your hand up there."

"Fine" he sighed in defeat as his hand reached inside the Turkey, his face screwed up, his eyes only open enough to see what his was doing as he pulled the giblets out at record speed, throwing them away. "There" he dry heaved "that was disgusting"

I slid a glass of water to him "there you go princess, calm yourself down"

"I am not a princess"

"Well you're wearing a pink apron and you're acting like a diva so I think I'm well within my right to call you a princess." I adverted my gaze as his face broke out into a smile, the sight causing my stomach to flip uneasily and my senses to heighten. What can I say? I was frustrated, and any little thing Harvey Specter did made life just that little bit harder for me.

We had been on two dates and had been dancing around our feelings for over a week and neither of us has made a move. It's as if we're both terrified.

Okay, well I know for a fact that I'm terrified, but what's Harvey's excuse? He was the one that asked me out…twice. Why wasn't he trying it on?

And now I have been reduced to a sexually frustrated mess with confused and conflicted feelings about my boss slash friend slash I don't fucking know. I swear to god I am one accidental skin exposure from collapsing on the floor right there and then. I shake my head, trying to knock the thoughts, the inappropriate thoughts, out of my mind as I moved my gaze back to Harvey who was now oiling the Turkey, massaging the oil into the skin, his fingers expertly working away at the bird.

"Oh holy fucking shit" I thought, but accidentally said out loud, my breathing slightly labored as I turned away from Harvey.

"Are you okay Donna?" he asked from behind me, genuinely confused about my sudden little outburst

"Oh yeah" I responded, covering my face with my hands, even though my back was towards him "fine, absolutely fine. I'll be back in a second, I just want to check my messages" I quickly ran out of the kitchen area towards my bag as I threw myself on one of the sofas. I grabbed one of the decorative cushion from beside me and smothered myself with it, screaming loudly into the material, muffling and disguising the sounds escaping my lips.

Why does life hate me so much? I mean, seriously, give a girl a break. I let the cushion fall from my face as I groaned, blindly reaching for my phone as I scrolled through the contact list until I came across Rachel's name.

"If you love me at all, you will pretend you've mixed your times up and come over earlier, and when I say earlier, I mean now." I blurted out quickly, trying to keep my voice down

Rachel laughed on the other end of the line "_What's he done now?"_

I sighed, "he's fucking kneading the turkey and now all I can picture is him… you know, kneading me. Fuck my life, it's too much, please, rescue me."

_"__Someone's a little frustrated"_

I frowned, unimpressed, tell me something I don't already know. "I think it's a disease and the symptoms are wanting to jump Harvey Specters bones, triggered by every day platonic actions."

"_Do you think it's curable?"_ she asked, amusement evident in her voice

"No I'm pretty sure its terminal. Appealing its demands will probably prolong my life, but I think it's pretty safe to say it'll end me"

"_I cant believe the great Harvey Specter hasn't closed you yet."_

"Maybe he thinks because he's done it once in the past, it's not worth redoing"

"_Sorry, what?" _she asked confused as my eyes went wide, shit.

"Err, nothing" The thing is… is that Rachel doesn't know about Harvey and me beyond this whole pretending thing, and the obvious work relationship we have. She doesn't have a clue about _the other time_ or anything that led to it.

"_Well that's bullshit and you know it. You can tell me everything later." _No I will not. "_If not I'll just ask Mike, he knows all about your past…"_

"Son of a…" bitch. Harvey Reginald Specter! "Fine, just get here soon, please."

_"__Okay!" _I quickly hung up on Rachel and scurried back towards the kitchen, Harvey no doubt wondering where I had got too.

"Sorry, I had to call my mom" I lied, smiling sweetly as I returned to my workstation, to prepare more vegetables.

He smiled and stopped what he was doing, taking a few steps towards me as he grabbed my arm gently, prying the knife from my hand, placing it on the counter. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as he spun me around to face him, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me towards his body. My body tensed up at the initial contact only to relax as I placed my head against his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat.

"What's this for?" I asked, still safely in his embrace

"It's thanksgiving, a time for thanks and appreciation, and I'm thankful for having you in my life.

I pulled away slightly as I looked up at him "you're a goofball"

"And I'm thankful for you too Harvey" he imitated me with a sarcastic roll of the eyes "thanks Donna, that's really nice of you to say"

"Shut up" I hit him lightly "I am thankful for you…and your love of buying me handbags" I smiled widely

"You mean bags that you reject?"

"In all fairness, you gave it to me to buy back my friendship after you were a complete jackass. "

"So you're telling me, that if I offered you that bag now, you'd still reject it?" he asked with raised eyebrows. I pulled away from his embrace completely, my face lighting up

"No! I have lost sleep over that bag! Gimme, gimme!"

"Bottom of my suit closet" he responded as I quickly got up on my tiptoes to peck him on the lips, I was about to be reunited with my one true love, once more.

* * *

**Harvey:**

Donna and I smiled at the result of our handy work, the kitchen area bursting with delicious food, the table set to perfection, everything looked great. In fact, I was certain that no other house in the United States currently looked this good. "We did good"

Donna nodded "We did fucking amazing." We high fived as the door went, no guesses as to who was on the other side, mainly because we could hear them

"I'm so excited!" I opened the door with an amused expression as Mike grinned widely repeating himself "I'm so excited" Rachel slipped past him, instantly running to Donna whispering something I couldn't quite make out as Mike continued to stand in the door way holding a cake.

"Where did you get that?" I asked, pointing to the culinary masterpiece in his arms, impressed that he had managed to find somewhere to make him a cake ,an exceptional cake at that, on Thanksgiving.

"I made it." He shrugged, pushing past me as I closed the door, following him towards the kitchen where he placed it down.

"No way did _you_ make _that?" _There was no way in hell Mike Ross baked that cake.

A) Because even though I questioned it on a daily basis, I was sure Mike Ross had a pair of balls somewhere

B) That shit requires some serious talent that i know the kid doesn't possess

C) You'd have to know how to use a kitchen, which if my memory serves me correctly, raises questions over the heap of takeaway boxes and cartons in his apartment

"He did" Rachel called over, looking just as shocked as I did.

"How the…"

"I was raised by my grandmother" Mike reminded me, grabbing a beer from the fridge "she baked, a lot. I would memorize the recipes and help her."

"Well if the whole fake lawyer thing goes to shit, at least you have a back up" I pointed out, pouring myself a glass of wine as my gaze fell on the girls who were deep in discussion, Donna peering at Rachel through her fingers, looking somewhat embarrassed. "Hey, do you know what they're talking about?"

Mike stopped mid swig, pursing his lips together "I'm err, pretty sure Rachel is bullying information out of her"

"About what? Work?" If it were about work, Rachel had no right to no anything that hadn't already been brought to her attention, she was a paralegal.

"No, about the time the two of you had sex." He stated bluntly.

I practically spat out my beer as my eyes went wide "What?" I looked at Donna who was holding her hands out several inches apart, Rachel staring at her in disbelief. "Oh god" I muttered "Cant you keep your mouth shut?"

Mike threw up his spare hand defensively, "Hey, it wasn't me, Donna was the one that let it slip" looking over to the girls, Donna's hands still in the same position as the two of them giggled. Mike's eyes went wide before glancing back at me. "Really?"

A smug smile pulled at my lips as I confirmed "Really."

* * *

**Donna:**

"I'm hungry, can we eat yet?" We all rolled our eyes at Mike who clutched his stomach like a child that hadn't been fed in weeks.

"Go get another bottle of wine, and go to the table" Harvey instructed as Mike saluted, jumping off the sofa quickly.

"Hey Harvey, why are there five table settings?" Mike asked confused, something I had been wondering too. There was a knock at the door. I raised an eyebrow at Harvey, wondering who the hell it could be at the door. Oh god, was it his mother? Please tell me it wasn't his mother; I hadn't prepped Mike or Rachel to deal with operation 'Donna and Harvey are together'.

"Donna could you get that?" he asked politely as he got up to help Mike get everything ready, I nodded, slowly pushing myself off the couch.

"Louis?" I asked in confusion as I opened the door, revealing the last person I ever expected to see, especially at Harvey's apartment. I looked behind me to see the reactions of Mike, Rachel and Harvey, wondering if they were just as surprised as I was, but not all members of the group had an expression on their face, mirroring mine.

"Louis!" he greeted, standing up, a glass of wine in his hand "glad you could make it, Happy thanksgiving". Louis smiled widely, as he happily accepted the glass of wine, throwing his arms around Harvey, embracing the man in a tight hug. I stood there, open mouthed at the exchange, wondering if I had suffered some sort of brain injury that was causing me to hallucinate. Louis galloped off towards Mike and Rachel, leaving Harvey and I by the door.

"Was this your idea?" i asked in disbelief

Harvey shrugged, straightening up his t-shirt. "I felt sorry for the guy, he was going to be alone"

I shook my head "Since when did you give a fuck about Louis though?"

"Yes he's weird, he fucks up about 99.9% of everything he does, and he is worryingly obsessed with me, but he's…tolerable. Just accept it, don't question it."

I didn't buy it. There had to be something wrong, Harvey had to be gravely ill or something to pull a stunt like this, willingly. "So all that extra food you prepared for Mike is for…"

"No trust me, it's for Mike, the kid can eat like its going out of style, there's plenty for all of us, trust me."

"This is weird" I stated, walking towards the table, taking a seat next to where I know Harvey would be sitting. We talked amongst ourselves as Harvey brought out several dishes of steaming hot food, before finally placing the gigantic turkey in the center of the table, smiling proudly. I smiled at Harvey's achievement, our achievement as Mike's mouth fell open in shock.

"Foooooooood" he clapped his hands happily as grabbed his knife and fork.

"Can I just say" Louis spoke up, holding his hand in the air to silence everyone else "that this looks exquisite, majestic even. Harvey Reginald Specter, I bow down to your culinary greatness"

Harvey sat down beside me, pouring himself a glass of wine "thank you for clarifying the obvious, Louis" he returned the smile

"Are… you not going to carve the turkey?" I asked, looking beside me as Harvey made himself comfortable.

He shook his head "Louis" Louis snapped his head towards Harvey, looking expectedly "Would you do us the honors of carving the turkey?"

"Me?" he asked, shocked as he pointed to himself, slowly rising to his feet.

Harvey nodded, handing him the carving knife as if it were a prestigious award as a giggle escaped Louis' lips.

I looked at Mike who was staring at Harvey, mouth open, looking offended, no doubt wondering why he wasn't asked to carve the turkey "Mike it's okay" Rachel whispered patting his shoulder "you can have your moment to shine later with the cake."

"Mike nodded slowly "Fine."

I smiled as everyone started filling their plates with food, digging into a plateful of goodness as conversation flowed easily between the five of us. I looked down at the space between Harvey's chair and mine as that smile widened a little more, staring at our interlocked fingers. My stomach fluttered as he ran the pad of his thumb over the back of my hand affectionately, his gazed focused on Mike, listening to whatever he was saying, the simple gesture being our little secret.

"I have to say, I was shocked when I was invited to tonight's shindigs" Louis spoke up, his mouth full of turkey as I winced.

"So was I" mike muttered behind his bottle of beer, an ambiguous comeback that could have easily referred to Harvey's general invite or as to why Louis was here.

"What I'm even more surprised about if that you, Donna, are not spending Thanksgiving with a significant other. I mean a alluring butterfly like yourself must have an incredibly lucky man hiding in the shadows of your beauty"

Harvey's grip on my hand tightened, yet his expression didn't change "I'm right where I want to be" I replied, thinking that was an adequate but truthful response. Rachel and Mike both let out an accidental 'Awh' as Harvey's lips tugged up into a small smile. Louis looked between us with narrowed eyes, wondering what he missed "who wants more potato's?!" I quickly changed the subject, a knowing smirk playing on the lips of everyone bar Louis.

* * *

**Harvey:**

I stood on the balcony, taking in the view of the city as everyone else laughed and joked inside. The cold November air whipped against my face and my exposed arms, causing my skin to break out in goose bumps. I jumped as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist. "You'll catch your death out here"

I smiled as I looked down at the pair of hands resting on my stomach "and you'll give a man a heart attack if you just creep up on them like that" I turned around, wrapping my arms around her frame, her auburn hair flying in all directions.

"Tonight has been wonderful." She stated with a smile "_odd_ but wonderful. I still don't understand why you invited Louis, but I've convinced myself you weren't suffering from a personality disorder at the time."

"You make it sound like me being nice is so out of character" I laughed.

"This is Louis Litt we're talking about, anything other than punching him in the face or emasculating him, is out of character.

"You make a fair point" I agreed, inviting Louis was a pretty obscure move on my part, but I felt sorry for the guy. Louis Litt was equally as hated around the office as I was, and I guess I felt that if I were ever in his position, someone would extend the courtesy to me.

"It is nice to finally be alone though" she said, barely above a whisper

I looked up to the sky momentarily, before letting my gaze fall back on her face "It is. So there's this one thing I've been meaning to do all evening…" I trailed off letting one of my hands rest on her cheek.

"Oh yeah and what's that?" she asked as she cocked her head to the side. I smiled, leaning, until our lips were millimeters apart, the both of us waiting for the other one to make the first move, seconds passing by at a painful rate. She pressed her lips against mine ever so lightly, before applying more pressure, gaining confidence. This woman knew how to drive me crazy, and I loved it. Her hands snaked up my back, reaching their destination as they tugged on my hair, the slight pain only driving me even wilder.

I squinted, pulling away slightly as a flash of light went off in my peripheral vision "what the…"

"Oops" Mike whispered as he slowly lowered his iPhone, looking incredibly guilty.

"Mike!" I exclaimed angrily "what the fuck are you doing?"

He shrugged sheepishly "It was cute, I just wanted to take a photo…I don't know." He looked down at the floor, before looking at Donna for help, afraid that I was about to skin him alive.

"Mike, go inside." Donna ordered, her eyes darting between him and the door. Mike nodded quickly, fleeing from the scene as a giggle escaped from Donna's lips.

"You know, sometimes I really feel like we are surrogate parents to that kid."

"No, that kid is just a pain in the ass."

* * *

**Donna:**

I kicked off my shoes as I entered my apartment, overcome with a sudden wave of loneliness, wishing that the night hadn't come to an end. Harvey had offered for me to crash at his, to sleep in his bed whilst he took the sofa, but how the hell would be explain that to everyone else, and when I say everyone else, I mean Louis. So I left with the others, sharing a taxi with Mike and Rachel as I left the beautiful view of Central Park behind, in favor for my top floor apartment in Brooklyn. Throwing myself down on my bed, I let my phone fall beside me as I stared at the ceiling, letting my mind run through the events of this evening, before I finally turned my TV on, huddling under the covers as I watched an old episode of Sex and the City.

The already present smile on my face, widened as my phone rang, a familiar name flashing across the screen. I jumped out of bed, as I quickly pressed accept, raising the phone to my ear as my mouth opened to greet the person on the other end of the line, only to be interrupted. I listen more and more intently with every word, my expression faltering, that smile disappearing, only to be replaced with a frown. I sat on the edge of my bed, my movements slow and deliberate, checking that my body still knew how to function as my brain went into overdrive, trying to process the information that was being thrown my way. I let the phone drop from my hand as the call ended, the device bouncing against the mattress, falling onto the floor with a loud thud. I stared at the wall blankly as I tried to determine what emotions to feel, or how to react next. I inhaled deeply, choking out a shaky breath as my mind began to focus. Running my hands over my face, my body switched on to autopilot mode as I rolled off the bed, onto the floor, my hands searching under the bed for the empty luggage bag I knew was hiding under there somewhere. Biting my lip as I pulled it out I threw it onto my bed, grabbing my laptop off the side, quickly firing it up. My fingers busily tapped away at the keyboard as I loaded up the Delta airlines webpage, my hands shaking uncontrollably as I tried to input my search. Knowing my credit card details off by heart I entered them and completed the booking, the confirmation page flashing across my screen.

Seattle, here I come.

* * *

**It is so goddamn hot and I just want to roll around in a pool of ice. Here is your update, thank you for all your wonderful reviews, keep up the momentum guys, it's amazing, put's a smile on my face when I roll in from work at like 3am. You know the drill, tell me what you think!**

**So I'm currently writing the first chapter/prologue of my new fic. It is Darvey, but Mike also plays a strong role in the story so I hope that's okay, I've wrote the little summary thing, so here it is…**

**"****I wasn't lying when I said I'd go to the ends of the earth for Harvey Specter, there was nothing I wouldn't do. But disappearing, leaving everything I loved behind, just to protect him, just about killed me. Our paths could never cross again… My biggest regret? I never got the chance to tell him I love him."**

**What do you think? Does it interest you? Would you want to give it a read… let me know!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Harvey:**

It was one thing to not see Donna at her desk; I mean there are a thousand reasons that she wasn't currently sitting in her cubicle busily tapping away on the keyboard. Maybe she was copying some files that she thought I would no doubt need at some point during the day, or maybe she was making Louis' life a living misery somewhere. I shouldn't be worried. But the fact that her phone was switched off, she wasn't replying to my emails, she hadn't sent me her morning snapchat (yes you heard right) and that it was ten thirty and she still hadn't shown her face, I was about to lose my shit.

I stared my laptop screen, the words of a case file that I should have read by now just blurred into one giant black and white mess as I found it near enough impossible to focus. I let out an irritated growl as I slapped the empty Starbucks cup from my desk, watching it effortlessly fly across the room, hitting the wall with a light thud.

"Have you seen Donna?" I bombarded Mike as he entered my office, his smile falling as he frowned.

"I've seen her yes, she's a very attractive lady, if not a little mean, but I blame that on working for you."

This wasn't the time for Mike's lame jokes, I balled up my fists, wanting to hit something, I just wanted to know where Donna was. "Have you seen Donna?" I repeated firmly.

"Oh" Mike caught on "No, I haven't seen her at all come to think of it"

I pushed my chair back, getting to my feet as Mike stood still, frozen in place "I have the Jackson files…" he started, extending his arm towards me

"Don't care, sort it out yourself" I dismissed him with a wave of the hand, walking straight past him out of my office and down the hall as fast as my legs would take me, without breaking a sweat of course, this was a $12,000 suit.

She was on the phone, but I was never one for waiting around. I pushed opened Jessica's door, her eyes shooting up from her laptop to meet mine, a knowing expression on her face as she quickly made her excuses to the person on the other end of the line. "I wondered how long it would take you to come here." She stated, placing her hands on her desk.

"Because you know where Donna is?" I accused, walking up to her desk, the piece of wood, the only thing between us. She fell silent, her brain ticking away as she tried to come up with an answer that would get rid of me without telling what I wanted, what I deserved, to know.

"You're her boss Harvey, you should know where your staff are."

I rolled my eyes, slamming my hands down on her desk, causing her to jump. "God damnit Jessica I wont ask you again, have you seen Donna?"

"No!" she exclaimed, raising her voice to match mine, evidently angry that I was shouting at her "and I do not appreciate you talking to me like that!"

I ran my hands through my hair as I paced her office, growing increasingly impatient, and worried "Jessica" I said more calmly "do you know where she is?"

She hesitated for a second before nodding slowly. "She called me this morning and has asked to go on leave effective immediately."

I stopped pacing as I furrowed my eyebrows, what? "Why?"

That made…no sense.

"It's not my place to say Harvey."

I strode towards her "What do you mean it's not your place to say?! This is Donna, Jessica, this is my Donna!"

Jessica's face softened, her expression changing at what I had said. "Harvey" she breathed, "Louis is going to take charge of all your cases for the next few days"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I seethed, first she wont tell me what's happening with Donna, the next thing I know she's punishing me for no goddamn reason and giving my cases to _Louis?_

She placed a hand on my shoulder, my body tensing under her touch "Harvey, will you just calm down." Calm down, _calm down?_ Is she having a fucking laugh right now?

I threw myself down on her sofa, putting my head in my hands "Please" I strained, not looking up.

"I'm giving Louis your cases because you need to be on the next available flight to Seattle." I looked up, confused, none of our clients were based in Seattle, and Jessica usually runs potential new clients past me before signing them.

"No." Stupid crazy bitch trying to ship me off to the West Coast whilst I'm in the middle of creating a scene.

"Harvey will you stop being so goddamn difficult! Look, I told you it's not my place to say, so I'm going to be as vague as possible, get your ass to Seattle now. When you are there, call every hospital until you find a patient with the surname Paulsen"

"Oh god" I muttered, my heart sinking as everything clicked into place "Her brother lives in Seattle" I rubbed my eyes, taking a second to plan my next move.

Jessica nodded "go."

"And you're sure you're okay with me going? Because if you use this as leverage to get me to do pro bono when I get back, I will kick your ass"

"I'd like to see you try" she challenged "now seriously get the hell out of my office." I gave her a tight lipped but genuine smile as I got and exited the office "Oh and Harvey?" I turned around "It's nice to see that you've finally caught up with the rest of the world with Donna"

What the hell did she mean by that? I shook my head, I didn't have the time or concentration to try and figure out the meaning behind her ambiguous comment.

"Mike!" I shouted down the corridor, causing the pup to drop the pile of paper he was holding on to as his face dropped.

"God, what have I done now?"

"If I started to tell you, I'd die of old age before I would finish." Mike pouted, sticking out his bottom lip "I'm leaving town and I don't know how long for. Louis is taking over all of our cases so you can either report to him whilst I'm away or call in sick, I'm not suggesting either option, but I'm also not discouraging them."

Mike sighed, throwing his head back dramatically "whyyyyyy" he whined, why do you get to go away and be a fancy lawyer and I have to stay here and listen to metaphors that make no sense!"

"Because the last time I checked, you weren't a real lawyer"

Mike clutched his chest "Ouch, low blow, Specter, I'll remember that when you preach on about being a law abiding citizen"

I rolled my eyes, patting him on the shoulder "try and stay out of trouble kid."

"Hey Harvey? Say hi to Donna for me." God, that kid is such a smartass.

* * *

**Donna:**

"Look" I sighed, leaning against the desk "I have just flown across the country, spent an ungodly amount of money on a plane ticket, and left my boss to fend for himself, please for the love of God, can you just tell me what room Benjamin Paulsen is in." The nurse gave me a disgruntled look as I gave her a death glare through my sunglasses, the bags under my eyes too horrific to be seen by the general public.

"He's in the ICU on the second floor." My heart sunk, the taste of bile hitting the back of my throat, ICU? The ICU is usually bad, right? I mean, it couldn't be bad, it just couldn't. I gave her a quick nod as I jogged down the corridor till I reached the elevator, mentally cursing the slowness of the mechanical moving box thing as I wished I had just chosen to do some cardio and had taken the stairs.

I grimaced at the bland walls of the ICU, the faint sounds of beeping machines filling my ears and my heart full of dread. My steps were slow and deliberate as I walked towards the nurse's station, trying to buy myself a few precious seconds before I was potentially faced with my worst nightmare. My mind and body switched on to autopilot as I found out the room number, my hands sweating, my heart racing in my chest as I stood outside of his room, biting my lip so hard, I swear I could taste blood.

I closed my eyes, a tear slipping down my cheek as I opened the door, my eyes wide as I took in his appearance, his face black and blue, cuts and grazes littered over his body, the color drained from his skin. I gulped harshly as the next thing I noticed were all of the machines he was hooked up to, doing things I could only imagine to try and fix him. Dropping my bag to the floor, hands shaking, tears falling, I dragged a chair beside his bed, grabbing his hand, interlocking our fingers as I vowed to find whoever did this to him.

* * *

**Harvey:**

"So he asked me on a date and I was like OH MY GOD, but then I was like, hang on a minute, you cant just go and ask Sharice out on a date one minute and expect me to say yes when she dumps your sorry ass." I rolled my eyes as I repeatedly pinched my arm, trying to contain my annoyance as the voices of two teenage girls filled my ears.

This is why I hated economy. No matter where you are going, or whom you are flying with, there is a 99.9% chance you will sit next to

a) a screaming child

b) an arrogant asshole with a fear of flying

c) a talker

d) a teenager with 99 problems and a serious obsession for the blonde one from One Direction.

This is why I sign up to frequent flyer clubs, pay through the ear for air fare, so I can have a comfortable, _silent_ journey where my only worry is that I have too many film options on the inflight entertainment. But as per usual, bitch karma was paying me a visit in the form of a full first and business class section on the flight and my inflight entertainment?

Why Sharice dumped Henry's sorry ass and asked this fake blonde to the prom after her.

Shoot me now, please, I'll even pay for the gun.

I let out a sigh of relief as a member of the cabin crew announced our decent into Seattle, meaning that I was only an hour, two hours tops away from being reunited with Donna. Even though it had been less than twenty four hours since I had last seen her, the panic of not seeing her this morning, mixed with the news of what had happened to her brother, I was eager to scoop her into my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. I loosened the tie around my neck, now kind of wishing I had gone home before heading to the airport, wondering how I was going to survive with literally just the suit on my back.

I jumped out of my seat as the seat belt sign went off and the aircraft came to a halt, desperate to get off the plane and away from the teenager horrors behind me. Remind me; when the two of them inevitably come to my firm requesting a divorce from their third husbands who are several decades older than them, to do everything in my power to make sure they leave without a single dime.

I raced through passport control and customs, hailing a taxi as soon as I exited the building, wasting no time. I relaxed as the car pulled off from the airport, my phone vibrating in my pocket as I noticed I had received two texts from Mike whilst I was gone

_You've been gone six hours and Louis is already discussing the paint color he plans to paint your walls when he takes over your office_

_Would you think anything less of me if I turned myself into the DA about being a fraud; I think 20 years in a federal prison would be a walk in the park in comparison to what I'm currently going through. Three words for you- Opera with Louis. I hate you._

I laughed out loud as I shook my head, Louis was unbelievable. Ever since I hired Mike, Louis has been obsessed, like borderline stalker with Mike, he is his office crush. Without a doubt, Mike is everything Louis wishes he was; funny, smart, a successful with the ladies, oh and, friends with me.

I quickly typed back a hilarious, witty and borderline insulting response, stuffing my phone back in my jacket as we pulled up outside the hospital. I didn't pay attention to the driver as he told me the amount of the fare, throwing him a fifty and dismissing the change as I slammed the door shut, slipping my jacket off my shoulders as I ran into the hospital. Donna, I'm coming for you.

* * *

**Donna:**

I stirred as I felt someone shake me awake, I swear to god if that nurse woke me up one more time I was going to inflict some serious bodily harm and I would not regret it. I let out a frustrated groan, letting her know how pissed I was as I let my eyes flutter open, the sounds of the machines filling my ears. I slowly turned around, death glare at the ready when my face fell, my mouth falling open as I couldn't contain my shock, "Son of a bitch" I muttered looking at him. "I specifically ask Jessica to not tell you where I am and here you are, does no body in that goddamn office listen to anything?"

He gave me a sad smile, full of pity as he shrugged "I may have kind of forced it out of her"

"How?" Jessica was a hard ass, in fact Jessica was probably the only other person in the world, besides me of course, who could put Harvey in his place.

"I caused a scene." He stated simply, giving me an innocent smile, I rolled my eyes.

"What have I told you about being a drama queen?" I joked

"To do it more often…." He tried, attempting to be funny. I smiled, secretly pleased to see his face as my eyes travelled back to my brother. "How is he?" I shrugged, not looking at Harvey

"No one is entirely sure until he wakes up…if he wakes up."

"What happened?" he asked, his voice soft as he grabbed my wrists, pulling me to my feet, wrapping his strong arms around me.

I closed my eyes, letting my body relax against him as my senses were overwhelmed by the scent of his signature cologne "He was hit by a drunk driver" I whispered, anger bubbling up inside of me at the very idea that someone could get into a vehicle intoxicated putting themselves and others at risk.

Harvey grabbed hold of me tighter, nestling his head in the crook of my neck, neither of us saying a word. I don't know how you we were like that, it could have been a matter of seconds, it could have been two years, but in that moment I realized just how much things had changed in such a short amount of time. I reluctantly pulled away from his embrace "Harvey" I sighed, the curious e part of me kicking in, after all I didn't want to over think something that meant nothing. "Why are you here?"

He looked confused "Why wouldn't I be here?"

I shrugged, not knowing what to say as he sat down in the chair I had previously been occupying, pulling me down gently to sit on his lap.

"Donna, I'm here because I want to be here, because I want to be by your side right now."

I looked at my brother as a distraction, trying to process Harvey's words. From any normal human being, it would be a normal, justifiable response, but this was Harvey Specter, work always came first, feelings always came last, especially those of others. "But work…"

"Screw work" he exclaimed quietly, squeezing my hand "you're far more important than work."

I turned around to look at him "do you mean that?" I asked, making sure I had heard correctly, he nodded. I turned away quickly, my face unable to find the right expression to portray, my body finding it difficult to pick an emotion. I scoffed as I felt the tears well up in my eyes, brilliant, nice one Donna- your brother is in hospital and the man you've been in love with for most of your adult life as just prioritized you over work, crying would be the appropriate response to both situations. "When do you have to head back to New York?"

"When your brother is better"

"But you have clients Harvey!" I protested "and who the hell is going to look after Mike?" Bless him, but at times, Mike was like a child, he needed to be babysat at the risk of the absolute destruction he would create if left alone.

"Louis is looking after them" Oh, that's not good, Harvey knew that and I knew that. "As for Mike, he'll probably starve himself to death, or live off of paper shavings from the shredders, perhaps he'll get lost in the street and be put into care, who knows"

"You're so horrible to Mike, you know that right? He worships the ground you walk on, and you make out that he's some special breed."

"I am and he is" Harvey smiled, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I'm serious Harvey" I frown, thinking about how I treated Ben over the years "Ben and I have never had the best relationship, we would argue all the time growing up, and I constantly put him down over one thing or another. We hardly talk, we see each other maybe three times a year if that, and I know you and Mike aren't legitimate family, but we all know you're as close as it fricking gets."

"He knows what I really think"

"Does he, because I don't think I do, and I'm Donna, I know everything"

Harvey smirked "Don't pull your Donna shit on me. Mike has the potential to be an amazing lawyer, probably a better lawyer than me, because he cares, and yes, I like having the kid around."

I nudged him playfully "you should tell him that then! He'll probably die of a heart attack before you finish your sentence, but at least he'll die happy"

"Why don't you tell Mike how you feel" he counteracted with a raise of an eyebrow

"I don't think he's ready for my declaration of love just yet, maybe in a year or two, you know, when puberty has knocked in. Then we can get married, have gorgeous babies and rule the world with our superpowers of remembering everything and mad Donna tricks"

Harvey scrunched his face up in disgust as he pushed me off his lap "that's disgusting, please don't ever do that."

"Why, are you jealous?"

Harvey's face went serious "Well…yeah, I would be, because he's not the one for you."

I cleared my throat, not quite sure if I was ready to ask Harvey what he meant, not now as the beeping on the machines hooked up to my brother started gaining speed and frequency. I looked at Harvey frantically as a nurse rushed into the room, closely followed by the doctor I had been speaking to earlier, the two of them poking and prodding my brother and the machines.

"Ms Paulsen, it's probably best if you leave the room." The doctor said calmly as I stared at him, anything but calm.

"No, no, I'm staying here"

"Donna" Harvey placed his hand on my shoulder as I shrugged it away.

"No"

"Ms Paulsen, your brother is fine, he just needs a higher dose of painkillers, that's all. Go home and rest, I will get someone to call you if anything changes, anything at all."

I looked at Harvey for an answer, not wanting to leave, but the prospect of sleep was almost too good to pass up, I was exhausted. "Donna, come on, I've got us a hotel room just down the road, if anything happens we can be back here in 30 seconds."

"Fine, but you're sleeping on the floor."

"Err, no, I'll take the bed and you can sleep in the bath tub."

I looked at the doctor "is there anywhere I can just leave him?" I pointed to Harvey "I'd like to donate him as a live donor, do whatever you see fit"

The doctor smiled at my joke "You two are a very charming couple" he observed as I shook my head

"Thank you, I think so too" Shut up Harvey.

* * *

"Can we go back?" I asked, pacing the room.

"Donna, you've been back twice, he's stable. It's nearly two in the morning, will you please get some rest." I stopped, glaring at Harvey who was under the covers wearing nothing but boxers, because somebody didn't think of bringing any luggage.

For someone so smart, sometimes the guy was a bloody idiot. Not that I was hating the view, it was very nice, in fact, i'm borderline insulted that he doesn't walk around like that more often, I know I'd pay more attention

Lies, lies, lies, we all know it's lies.

"You are so irritating when you're right" I whined, throwing myself on the bed

"I know, not everyone is as perfect as me, but you're a close second" he joked, pulling my exhausted body up the bed before pulling the cover over me. He switched off the light, the room dark besides the slight glow from outside filtering through the curtains.

I felt him fidget, finding a comfortable position whilst trying to leave a respectable amount of room between us. Why did he have to be such a gentleman? "Hey Harvey?" I whispered, breaking the silence that had fallen between us.

"Mmhmm?"

"Is it okay if you…hold me. You know, just until I fall asleep?" I was glad the room was dark as I was sure my cheeks were burning red, embarrassed that I had asked him such a thing.

He didn't reply, yet simply rolled over, slinging his arm over my waist, pulling me towards him as I laid my head against his bare chest. I smiled, letting my exhaustion win as I closed my eyes, falling asleep to the sound of his erratic heart rate, that I tried to pretend wasn't because of me.

* * *

**Do you know how hard this was to write?! I didn't want to write tonight, I'm tired, I haven't packed and I have to be at the airport in like 30 hours. To all those that have reviewed, I love you. To those that have read my new stories, thank you, to those that haven't, go go go have a look, review and let me know. I will not be giving up any story in favor for the other. And for those skeptics of 'Maps' yes its darker than this fic, but it's going to be good.**

**As for those who say that my other one shot "temporary bliss" is ooc...people fucking with your head makes you like that haha**

**Here's my deal. I will write a new chapter of this story, upload it on my doc manager and will upload it onto FF when i'm away and have wifi if you show me some serious love. Otherwise this will now be updated upon my return from Barcelona on Saturday**

**Because I love you guys, I will also post something on FF tomorrow before I leave.**

**ALRIGHTY! PEACE YO. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Donna:**

It was a feeling I could get used too, waking up in his arms, protectively wrapped around me, my face resting against his chest. I felt like a bit of a creep just staring at him sleep, but I couldn't look away. A small smile tugged at the sides of my lips as I took in his appearance, his hair free from the confines of product, dishevelled, sticking it every direction, his face utterly peaceful, his mouth open ever so slightly as soft snores escaped them. I had woken up next to Harvey a handful of times, most of which have occurred in the last couple of months, but this was the first time that he was here, out of pure will, with no secret motives lingering in the background.

Harvey had changed, or perhaps he was just evolving, either way, I was finding it difficult to come to terms with. Harvey wasn't a bad man, I knew that under the hard exterior he had created, was a kind hearted man, but it was something that was rarely exercised. I didn't want to doubt him or his actions but wouldn't you? It's an adjustment. My heart wanted to jump, to take the plunge, throw caution to the wind and just go for it, but my head had its own opinions. My head didn't want to jump off of the 10m diving board and watch the water from beneath me quickly disappear, changing into a slab of concrete, I don't want to get hurt.

"Like what you see?" I was knocked out of thought as I noticed a certain someone next to me had awoken, mumbling a comment, his eyes barely open.

"I've seen better" I responded with a smirk

"Well that's a lie Pinocchio" he tapped my nose, giving me a tired wink as his grip tightened around my body "You know, I could get used to this" he added, absentmindedly stroking my hair, a goofy smile on his face.

"What? Skiving off work?

He sighed "Must you always ruin a moment, Donna?"

"We were having a moment?" I asked innocently, hiding my face. I knew full well that I had ruined a moment, I had done it intentionally, not wanting to deal with it…not knowing how to deal with it.

"Well I guess it's not a moment if both party's don't think so" I frowned as he shifted, placing me on the pillow beside him as he shimmied his arms from around me. I watched silently as he threw his legs over the side of the bed, wordlessly getting up, walking towards the bathroom in just a pair of boxers.

"Stupid bitch" I muttered to myself as i heard the shower turn on "stupid, stupid bitch." Harvey had been by my side for the last few days, visiting the Ben at the hospital with me, driving me around to get supplies, making small talk with all of my extended family that had come to visit, he had been the perfect gentleman. But here I was night after night, crawling into his arms, wrapping them around me and falling into the best nights sleep I'd ever had. He never pushed, or questioned anything, everything was all at my pace.

I knew deep down what this was, what he was doing, why he being like this. I'm not stupid, I just choose not to believe it until I have complete certainty. Certainty that it's what he wants, certainty that it's what I want.

I know it is, it's consumed my every fibre for the last decade, but the reality is terrifying, and I'm scared that my judgement will be clouded by everything that has happened to Ben and that somewhere down the road, one of us will realise we hadn't really thought it through. So until then, I will continue my selfish assault on both of our emotions, I will pull him close and push him away in the space of a second, I will silently torture us both as yet another day goes by.

I got out of bed, letting the t-shirt I was wearing, one that Harvey had to go and buy for himself, swamp me as I dragged myself to the small kitchen area in the hotel suite, turning the kettle on to make us both a cup of tea.

I stared out the window, the view not overly appealing, yet there were enough distractions to keep my mind busy.

"I was thinking that perhaps I could find us a nicer hotel for the rest of our stay" I jumped at the sound of the voice behind me, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end as his hot breath fanned across the exposed skin on my shoulder. I shivered as he wrapped his damp arms around me, pressing his freshly showered and exposed torso against my back as he rested his head on my shoulder, following my gaze. I closed my eyes, using all my restraint to keep my breathing level.

"I was thinking that maybe it's time you go back to New York" he dropped his arms, spinning me around to face him, my eyes unintentionally widening at the sight of him in a towel, glistening. Fuck you Harvey, Fuck you.

"What?" he barely whispered, his eyebrows scrunching up "I told you, I'm not leaving you."

"Harvey" I breathed, placing my hand on top of his "it's been five days, you need to go back to work."

"I don't." he replied firmly, folding his arms across his chest.

"You do. I know you and Jessica agreed to this time off, but it's time to go back and do what you do best." I gave him a smile, trying to convince him that I was fine, that he should go back to work, and earn the company millions. It was one thing taking a couple of personal days, but verging on a week? It wasn't the done thing, especially in his line of work.

"I told Jessica that I will come back when things are okay here"

"They are, Harvey" I assured

"No" he disagreed "I told you, I'm here for as long as you are."

I walked over to my handbag that was in the corner of the room, grabbing the folded piece of paper that was poking out of him, silently handing it to him. I watched his eyes scan the document, his face falling as he nodded slowly "You booked me a flight home?" he asked incredulously "Donna, when did you do this?"

"Last night" I responded, barely above a whisper, wrapping my arms around myself.

"So you booked this without asking me, without discussing this with me? When were you going to tell me? Were you just going to shove me into a taxi going towards the airport?"

"Harvey, no-" I tried to protest, yet he interrupted me, sounding hurt.

"Do you not want me around that much that you feel the need to book me a flight home behind my back?"

"Harvey, I don't want to make you choose between me and work, you have a firm to run"

"And as I've said before, and I'll say it again, work isn't important right now. Whether you like it or not, you trump Pearson Specter, every goddamn time. Why can't you see that?"

"Harvey, please don't be mad," I begged quietly, feeling tears well up in my eyes as I found his expression almost unbearable to look at.

He shook his head, his body relaxing "Donna" he said softly, the anger washing away from his voice "I'm not mad, I'm upset that you couldn't communicate with me, that the only way you thought you could deal with whatever is going on in that pretty little head of yours is to push me away and send me to the other side of the country."

"Harvey" I took a step towards him, as he took a step back. His eyes scanned the boarding pass once more; he knew that he only had a few hours until he had to be at the airport. He sighed, noticing my lip quivering slightly, a stray tear rolling down my cheek. He placed the boarding pass on the counter, sighing as he stepped towards me, wrapping his arms around me tightly as he kissed the top of my head, ripping himself from my grasp a matter of seconds later.

"I just wish that for once you would stop being so goddamn stubborn and let someone look after you, realise that I want to be the one to look after you." I opened my mouth, ready to respond, ready to tell him that I did realise, that I appreciate his intentions, his actions, that I appreciate him, but instead a wave of déjà vu washed over me as I watched him silently storm out of another room, away from me, all in the space of an hour.

Donna's lack of heart 2- Harvey's heart 0.

* * *

**Harvey**

I sat at the gate, waiting to board as I stared out of the large glass windows at the small aircraft I presumed was the one that would take me back to New York. I wanted to be angry, I wanted to be upset, but I just couldn't. I felt…obsolete. That in the moment that she handed me that boarding pass, that I had no use to her whatsoever, that my services were no longer required. She was going through a hard time, and her family was breathing down her throat, there were so many reasons I could justify her actions with, but none of them made the action hurt any less. I got up as I heard my section of the plane was ready to board, handing the steward my boarding pass, before making my way onto the plane. I took my seat by the window, letting out a huff as I sat down, annoyed at the situation, knowing that right now I should be with Donna. Perhaps I should have fought a little more, but it was clear her mind was made up, after all, she did buy me a plane ticket.

"Is this seat taken?" I rolled my eyes at the voice, not really paying attention as I continued to stare out the window.

"Look at your boarding pass, it'll tell you your seat" I nonchalantly replied, still looking at the tarmac.

"Jeez, you really take all the fun out of surprises don't you Specter." I raised an eyebrow at the sound of my name, my head slowly turning towards the source of the voice, my stomach flipping. I watched as they took the seat next to me, pushing their bag under the seat in front.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, unable to hide the shock in my voice.

"On the rare occasions I mess up" they shrugged, giving me tight lipped smile. "And when I do, they tend to be big ones. I'm sorry"

I placed my hand on her knee, giving it a squeeze, letting her know that I was okay. "Hi" I finally greeted as she rested her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arms around my arm.

"Hi." She replied, looking up at me with a smile "you know I appreciate everything you've done for me Harvey? I mean seriously, you have been amazing the last few days, i'm sorry that i haven't told you that enough." I nodded "I'm sorry for being an ass, I guess I've just picked up some of your bad traits" she smirked as I tapped her knee playfully

"Hey, I resent that."

"Good, now do you forgive me, because I'm not one to grovel."

"Hmm" I pondered thought "I don't know Donna, I mean you booked me a seat in economy, you could have least put me in business class."

She looked up at me, narrowing her eyes "Excuse me! Not all of us are made out of money, you're lucky I could afford the ticket, otherwise I would have made you walk home."

"Why didn't you use my credit card, its not like you don't use it for everything else" I smirked, teasing her.

"You are such an ass. Remind me why I ran across the city to catch this flight to apologise to you, again?"

"Because you're into me."

She rolled her eyes "Last chance Specter, name your price, or you lose and you still have to forgive me"

"Okay, I'll forgive you only if you agree to go on another date with me when we're back in the city?" I looked at her hopefully, already having the perfect idea for our fourth date. Yes I was counting, no I am not a teenage girl.

"On one condition" she started

"Err, hang on, these are my negotiations not yours, you do not get to call the shots."

"I'm Donna, I can do whatever the hell I want" she smiled "On one condition, I get to buy a new dress, and when I say I I mean you."

"What If I say no?" I tested her, arching my eyebrow

"I'll send Louis in my place, telling him you wanted to meet up for a fancy dinner to bond, man to man"

"You drive a hard bargain Paulsen" I concluded as I shook her hand

"It wont be the only thing that's hard when you see the dress I'm going to buy" she countered, her hand flying to her mouth as soon as the words escaped her lips. I burst out in laughter, her face burning red as I gave her a suggestive look "I did not mean to say that…"

"Oh?" I asked, the smirk tattooed on my face "is that the case Donna? Well all I can say to that is challenge accepted."

* * *

**Harvey:**

"What the fuck?" I breathed as I caught sight of my office "What the fuck?" I repeated a little louder, pushing open the doors, staring at Mike with wide eyes "What have you done to my office?!"

He put down his carton of chinese slowly, every movement deliberate as he looked at me with a guilty expression. "I can explain"

I looked around in shock as I nodded "Yeah you better, or I'm gonna kick your ass out of that window." The place was a tip, it had honestly looked like the kid had moved in, not to mention the wall by my record case covered in different colour pain swatches.

Mike stood up, approaching me slowly, inhaling deeply "When Louis heard you had disappeared for no reason for an unknown amount of time he thought you had been fired, or arrested so he thought he would measure up your office, you know, as the natural successor to your dynasty, his words not mine" he blurted out in one breath rather quickly, his face turning red. "So I basically moved in to protect your office, scared that if I went home, he would do the switch in the middle of the night"

I don't know why, but it honestly didn't surprise me. I rolled my eyes, making a mental note to scold Louis later, but right now, I had more pressing matters on my mind. "If it's cleared up by tomorrow morning, I'll act as if I saw nothing."

The kid let out a sigh of relief, his body relaxing as he offered me a carton of untouched Chinese. I shrugged off my jacket, feeling somewhat underdressed being in the office in a pair of jeans and a jumper, as I sat on one of the sofa's, accepting the food. "Were you really going to eat all this Chinese on your own?" I asked, looking at the hoards of fried food and noodles scattered across the table.

Mike shrugged, noodle hanging from his mouth. "More than likely."

"How are you not fat?"

"Fast metabolism, either that or the amount of running I do after you all day every day" Kid had a fair point. "How's Donna?"

"She's okay" I gave him a tight lipped smile "she's putting on a front, but she's still pretty shaken up by it all"

"How's her brother?"

I shrugged "Not in the best shape" I admitted, allowing myself to speak the truth finally, after trying to sugar coat my thoughts to Donna over the past few days. "He's got a lot of injuries, some are superficial cuts and bruises that will heal with time, but his pelvis was shattered, legs broken in different places, he has a long way to go, it's going to be a long road to recovery"

"Was she glad that you turned up out of the blue?"

It was something I had been asking myself for days, her eyes screamed one thing, but the words that escaped her mouth at times, painted a completely different picture, especially with the whole plane ticket fiasco "I think so" I answered, not knowing what else to say "you know what Donna is like, she's stubborn, she's her own woman, but yeah, it was clear the moment I saw her that I did the right thing, even if she disagreed at times."

Silence fell between the two of us as we finished our food

"I'm going to tell her" I spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Tell who what?" Mike looked at me, a lack of understanding in his eyes

"Donna, I'm going to tell her… you know, that I love her."

Mike's eyes went wide, his face breaking out into a massive grin as he jumped up and down on the spot several times, excited. "No way!" he exclaimed, bounding towards me like a puppy "this is _huge_!". I stumbled back as he threw his arms around me, patting me on the back "this is major, oh my god, i can see it now, the first Pearson Specter wedding."

I pushed Mike away from me, an amused smirk on my face as I just shook my head "Calm down Michelle, you don't need to go run and buy a hat just yet."

"Will you shut up and let me enjoy this moment?!" he huffed out a breath "How are you going to do it? When are you going to do it? Can you film it, can I be there?"

I poured the two of us a glass of scotch, handing him the glass silently. "Were you dropped on your head as a baby?" I asked, seeming like the only logical explaination to his general behaviour.

"Can we skip insulting me for one second and answer my question please? Not that I don't _love_ having my self esteem trampled on by you, because really, I love that."

I rolled my eyes, taking a swig of the alcohol " I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I want to do it soon, and no you cannot be there or film it, but you can help me figure out what to do"

"Me?!" he pointed at himself "What about hiring a sky writer?"

"No."

"A barbershop quaret?"

"She would murder me, no. I don't want to flash my cash, I don't want to make some elaborate gesture, it's not us, I just want to do something genuine, something natural."

"How about you hire boys II men and sing with them? You know that song _I'll make love to you.._"

"How about no."

Mike laughed "Sorry, mental image" I rolled my eyes "Hmm" Mike pondered in thought as he threw himself down on the sofa, "I guess it's time for me to take a class in Darvey 101"

"Darvey? What the fuck is Darvey?"

"It's your couple name, Donna and Harvey, like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie- Brangelina"

"That's not a thing" I shook my head, sounding firm.

"It so is a thing! Where the hell have you been living since the turn of the millennium?"

"Not reading TMZ" I replied, perching myself on the desk, wondering how we had gotten off topic.

"Right so you don't know Brangelina, but you know what TMZ is? Whatever Harvey, I bet if I look out your browser history I'll find a shit load of celebrity gossip websites"

"Alongside 'how to kill an associate without anyone realising'"

"You make my heart hurt" he frowned, clutching his chest "one day I'm going to be gone and you will cry. You will cry and roll around in guilt because you hid behind your sarcasm instead of telling me how much you admired me and how much joy I brought to your life"

I rolled my eyes, this kid was full of himself, definitely been spending too much time around me "Mike statistically speaking, you'll outlive me as I'm older…"

Mike scoffed out a laugh "You think? Every negative word that comes out of your lips, kills me a little more inside. That and the fact you're an absolute slave driver, I am fully aware that there is a high possibility that you will end me in one way or another"

I scrunched up my face "You make me sound like a evil dictator"

He moved his head from side to side "not so much an evil dictator, more like a secretly fluffy dictator with a love for expensive suits"

"Fluffy?!" I had been described as a lot of things in my years, but fluffy was not one of them.

"Yeah" he nodded "you're like a bear, dangerous and grizzly but when sedated, or in your case, drunk or in _luuurrrve_ ,cute and fluffy"

"You are absolutely ridiculous."

"But you love me?" he asked hopeful as I shook my head

"No."

"Like me?"

"No."

"Tolerate me?"

"No."

"Coexist alongside me as a fellow member of the human race?"

I tried to keep a straight face, my voice steady, poor kid. "Only because I like to see how the other half live"

"Says the guy asking someone from the 'other half' for help."

"You're such a fucking smartass."

Mike beamed, finishing his glass of scotch as he raised it in the air "takes one to know one, asshole!"

* * *

**Well I'm back home, holiday is over, well…37 days til I head over to the US, so it's over, for now. I got in at 3am, had a nap and then spent the best part of the day writing for you guys. Admittedly I was going stir crazy being away from my laptop.**

**You know the drill, let me know what you thought. Due to demand, Temporary Bliss will become more than a one shot. So you want updates, hit me with some motivation, or bring me lots and lots of coffee. Updates on updates will be on my FF profile/any news of new stories blah blah blah.**

**if you want to have an insight to my travels/life check out my insta 'leftmyheartinsanfrancisco'**

**Adios.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Donna:**

My favourite month of the year was finally upon us- December. The month where all the shops are stocked to the brim with gifts I want to buy myself, with Christmas just around the corner, and of course the most important religious event; Donnamas.

The celebration of the birthday of Donna Paulsen. It was the 36th international Donnamas, and the world was in for one hell of a party.

I wrapped my jacket around me tighter, taking in the beautiful scenery of the City in the winter as I hauled my numerous bags of shopping towards the office. I had taken a long lunch break to do some serious Christmas shopping, already excited to see the faces of Harvey, Mike and Louis when I gave them their office gifts.

All I'm saying is, matching elf costumes.

The Christmas party was going to be awesome… for me only; they were going to hate it, but who cared.

I strutted into the firm, hiding my bags full of gifts under Norma's desk, knowing that no one would go looking for them there. Grabbing myself a coffee, I made my way down the familiar corridor towards Harvey's office. Taking a sip of my steaming hot vanilla latte, I took a seat behind my desk, my eyes instantly finding their way to the fancy office opposite me.

I wish I could tell you that the sight before me, behind the glass panel of Harvey's office wasn't amusing to me, but I'd be lying. I tried to suppress a laugh as Mike stormed out of the office, frowning like a child, leaving Harvey sitting at his desk, pen in mouth, grunting in frustration. I pushed my chair away from my desk, straightening my dress as I sauntered into the office, making sure my hips were swaying in such a way that Harvey would find it impossible to focus on anything other than me as soon as he was aware of my presence.

"Making the kid cry again?" I asked, as he looked up at me, the frown previously on his face disappearing as he raised an eyebrow at me, the classic Harvey Specter smirk finding its way onto his lips.

"No, we just both missed something. I can't believe neither of us found it." I pursed my lips together, making my way around his desk until I was behind him, checking the hallway for passers-by before letting my hands slide down to his shoulders, massaging his tense muscles through his suit. The truth was, all of this, was my fault; I had done it on purpose. I hid the document in one of his desk drawers, knowing he would come across it unintentionally; I wanted to wind him up. See, ever since Harvey and I had agreed to date or whatever the hell you call it, he has been the perfect gentleman; he was the poster boy for the perfect man. But it was getting a little…frustrating. I know what you're thinking, I've been living like this for the last ten years, why is it only affecting me now?

Because I'm a woman and I have needs! Sure, making out with Harvey Specter is more than I had for a decade, but it was just so PG13, and I wanted some R rated action. Perhaps I just had an invisible force field around me, which made it impossible for Harvey to touch me even if he tried. Either that or he was getting it elsewhere… and I don't think he is, well I hope he isn't.

I thought that if I wound him up, that perhaps he would drop the gentleman façade by accident and throw me against a wall in the supply closest, or… at least take me home with him tonight.

Did I feel bad that Mike got the blame for my wrongdoings? Yes. But I'm sure he would understand if I told him my reasons, I mean, he must have manipulated a situation in the past to guarantee sex.

He relaxed as I continued to massage his shoulders "You know, we can always reschedule tonight if you have too much work on?" I suggested, attempting to sound supportive, but not meaning a single word.

He spun around in his chair until he was facing me, his eye level at the perfect height to get a decent view of my chest. He smirked as I hit him on he arm, signalling for him to look up. "I'm not cancelling tonight" he stated firmly "I've got a few more hours, and Mike's on the case. It's not a big deal, its more of an inconvenience"

"As long as you're sure. I don't want you turning up being a killjoy because you're mind is too focused on work."

"I'll be fine. Besides you promised me a knock out dress that would make stand to attention." He winked, reminding me of my accidental slip of the tongue on the plane last week.

"Ah yeah" I remembered as I leant towards him to whisper in his ear "make sure you're not wearing tight pants Specter, we wouldn't want you to get uncomfortable at the sight of me"

Shit, I need to get a new dress.

He gulped harshly as I pulled away, patting him on the knee, turning around slowly, walking away, deliberately leaning over my cubicle to reach something as I heard him stutter over the intercom "D-Donna, stop"

I still got it.

* * *

"I look fucking amazing," I muttered out loud as I checked myself out in the mirror, satisfied that the last two hours of hard work has paid off. I spun around, admiring my new dress- a tight, black, mid-length dress with a plunge neckline, sure to give Harvey nothing sort of a cardiac arrest. My hair cascaded over my shoulders in lose curls, my make up a little heavier than usual, a pair of brand new Jimmy Choo's on my feet. In conclusion, I looked amazing, in fact, I'm almost certain that no other female gracing this planet would ever look as good as I looked right now.

I turned the volume on my music system up, grabbing my glass of wine from the counter as I danced around to the radio, swaying my hips from side to side, taking a large swig of wine, a smile finding its way to my lips. I couldn't help but be excited for tonight, not that I wasn't always excited for a date with Harvey, but tonight was the night. Nothing was going to stop me from getting the end result I wanted, I wasn't going home alone tonight, it wasn't an option. I threw my spare arm in the air, closing my eyes, enjoying the music, as there was a knock at the door. I quickly skipped over to the table, pouring another glass of wine as I made my way towards the door.

"Harvey" I greeted upon opening the door, handing him the drink, happily dancing towards the middle of the room as he closed the door behind him. I grinned as I felt his eyes shamelessly drag up and down my body, his mouth falling open ever so slightly.

"Wow" he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I told you" I replied proudly, taking a bow.

He smirked, raising the glass to his lips "I was actually talking about your dancing, but you do look absolutely gorgeous"

I tried to hide the blush forming on my cheeks, ducking my head away "Don't be jealous of my moves Harvey, if you think these are good, just you wait and see what I've got planned for you later" I winked, letting a sly smirk form on my lips.

"So what are we doing tonight?" I asked as he shrugged off his jacket, leaving him in a black shirt and a dark pair of denim jeans. I licked my lips, appreciating his wardrobe decision to unbutton the top few buttons on his shirt, giving me a nice view of his chest.

"We're going dancing" he announced, looking pleased with himself as I just scrunched up my face, confused.

"But you hate dancing" I pointed out. It was a universally known fact, Harvey Specter does not dance, unless he's drunk and he's dressed like Superman, then he can do whatever the hell he wants.

"I do not!"

"Errr, yes you do. If I remember correctly you once told me that you would rather have all of your wisdom teeth pulled out rather than dancing in public."

He rolled his eyes, dismissing me with a wave of the hand, as he knew I was right "But you love to dance and I want to take you to this new place they've opened in Greenwich Village, you'll love it. Besides I want to show everyone how hot my girlfriend is."

I swallowed my sip of wine slowly, afraid that I was about to spit take red wine all over my cream carpet.

_Girlfriend? Girlfriend?_

Okay Donna breathe, just breathe. In and out, you've been doing it your whole life, you can do this. "Girlfriend?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant, when inside all I was doing was freaking the fuck out. We hadn't labelled what we were, in fact no one has called me 'girlfriend' since 2010, and well, that was a dark year for everyone.

"I err, I didn't mean to say that" he blurted out quickly, his face burning red.

I smirked, taking a few steps towards him until we were face-to-face "Do you want me to be your girlfriend?" I cocked my head to the side, waiting for an answer as I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his heart face in his chest.

"It's err, whatever, if you want" he tried to sound casual, adverting his gaze to the window. Oh this was cute.

"Harvey…" I let my hands trail up his back, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck "are you trying to tell me that you want to be exclusive?"

He sighed, knowing there was no way he could back out of this now "We've been dating for nearly a month and before that we were pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend anyway, so yeah, why not."

I smiled, internally having a massive fan girl moment. "Does that mean I get to call you cute pet names?" I asked, grabbing my jacket, following him out of the apartment, and towards Ray's car.

"No" he laughed.

"Babycakes?" I tried, determined to win him over

"No"

"Sweetheart?"

"No"

"Stud?"

"Hmmm, not bad, but no"

I rolled my eyes as I slipped into the back of Ray's car, Harvey sliding in beside me "I will win you over Harvey Specter, mark my words."

* * *

"Hey! Can we have two shots of Sambuca please?!" I shouted over the music, signally towards the barman. I laughed as I looked over my shoulder, Harvey in the middle of the dance floor, eyes closed, swaying from side to side, utterly lost in the music. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't even realise I had gone. I politely thanked the barman as I threw him a twenty, dismissing the change; after all, Harvey was paying. Harvey had taken us to this amazing bar/club in the middle of Greenwich Village, where they had the most incredible live band turning music from all eras into jazz renditions.

"You have got to be kidding me if you think I'm going to drink that?" he pointed at the shot glass In judgement.

"Oh c'mon Specter, one little shot of Sambuca wont kill you, it's to loosen you up. I want to see you crack out those Travolta moves" He rolled his eyes, reluctantly snatching the glass from my hand, knocking it back before I even had the chance to join him. I laughed, necking my shot as his face was still scrunched up, tongue sticking out as he cursed the alcohol.

"You owe me a dance for that" he stated, putting the shot glasses on the counter before grabbing my wrists, pulling me flat against his body, his hands finding their way to my hips. I raised an eyebrow, impressed at his moves, our bodies moving in perfect sync as he spun me around until my back was against him. I bit my lip as his warm breath fanned across the exposed skin on my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. "You know, I never got the chance to tell you how incredible you look in that dress. You look…_phenomenal,_ ridiculously gorgeous".

I remained silent, trying to control my breathing, the combination of Harvey seductively whispering in my ear, the alcohol running through my veins and the way he is gyrating against me causing me to have what I can only describe as a stroke. "Sexy as hell"

Damn Harvey. I fanned my face with my hand, needing to cool down, my mind racing with inappropriate thoughts. For instance, how I wish Harvey would just shut the fuck up right now, drag me to the bathroom and have his way with me in one of the stools like a horny eighteen year old with no dignity. Or perhaps just here on the dance floor. I was reaching a whole new level of desperation, and you would be the same if you had him getting all hot and sweaty, grinding up against you.

And those who say they wouldn't, are just liars. Or are asexual.

I'm just saying that it would be worth the short stint in jail and the on the spot fine.

"You're awfully quiet for someone who is currently being showered with compliments" he observed, spinning me around to face him.

"Oh you know, I'm trying this whole modesty thing." I shrugged, flipping my hair over my shoulder.

Harvey raised an eyebrow "Oh really? And how's that going for you?"

"Not so good. Turns out it's hard to act modest when you're as perfect as me."

"Wow" he cocked his head to the side "you've been spending far too much time around me."

"See, this is what I've been telling everyone for years, yet I'm still here."

Harvey tried to look offended "Oh shut up. You're _so_ into me"

"And you're _so _into me, _Pumpkin_"

"Yeah…" he shook his head "It's still a no on the pet names."

* * *

We stumbled out of the club with just enough alcohol running through our bodies that the harsh December air didn't seem to affect us. I snorted out a laugh as Harvey tripped over himself, nearly toppling over, as he grabbed onto my arm for dear life. " Nice trip?" I smirked

"Ha ha" he replied dryly "perhaps next time I should take you with me" he suggested, pretending to fall, pulling me down with him.

"Hey!" I swatted him before running down the street, looking over my shoulder as I stuck my tongue out at him. I squealed as he jogged up beside me, grabbing me by the waist, spinning me around before putting me down in front of him. "Thank you for tonight" I said sincerely as my laughter subsided, giving him a peck on the lips.

"Is that all I get?" he pouted, putting one arm around my waist, stepping towards me. I shrugged as I slowly leant in, my face hovering just millimetres from his. I inhaled sharply as Harvey grabbed the back of my head, impatiently crashing our lips together. I smiled against his lips as a group of drunken teenagers whistled and catcalled us from the other side of the road.

"Well tonight was nice" he mused as we broke apart. I looked towards the sky, shaking my head in disbelief "I can get Ray to drive you home if you'd like"

Was he being serious right now? How much longer did he feel it necessary to play the gentleman card on me? Not that I don't appreciate it, but c'mon, where was the Harvey Specter that every other nameless girl got to experience, the Harvey that I had been shamelessly fantasising about for years? We weren't 15 years old, and this wasn't our first relationship, why is he not taking advantage of my cracking body right now?

"Okay, let me tell you how the rest of the night is going to go" I said firmly, placing my hands on my hips. "You're going to hail us a cab, and you're going to take me back to your place, and in the morning I'm going to go into work, in my grey back up dress."

Harvey's narrowed in confusion, not quite sure if he had heard me correctly "I'm sorry, what?"

I took a step towards him, wrapping my arms around his body, pulling him towards me, pressing myself against him, giving him the perfect view of my cleavage. "You heard me perfectly, Specter. Take. Me. Home". I cocked my head to the side, leaning in towards him as his eyes flickered between my lips and the street behind me.

"Taxi" he exclaimed, breaking away from me, extending his arm as the yellow cab slowed down and pulled up besides us. I smirked as he opened the door for me, thankful to be imminently sitting, scared that my legs were about to give out from underneath me, unable to deal with the anticipation bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

"Oh and Harvey? Making out in the back of the cab is at your discretion, because believe me when I say this, I'll be the one calling all the shots tonight." I shot him one of my famous winks as I slid into the taxi.

"Yes ma'am"

* * *

**Okay guys, here is the newest chapter. I am so annoyed. So, so annoyed. I was about 3 paragraphs away from finishing this chapter when my laptop corrupted the file turning it all into asterisks. I was so proud of that chapter so I hope that this one is okay. I cannot believe that five hours writing just disappeared in seconds. **

**Thank you for bearing with me the past few days, as some of you know I lost someone close to me and I've taken a few days to sort some shit out. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter, like always, I love to hear what you think. I do have some questions I would like to ask you;**

**1)****This story is coming to an end, would you be willing/want to read 2-3 one shots based on this story, based in the future**

**2)****Someone commented how much they hated my Marvey moments- I can get rid of them, what do you think?**

**3)****Would you be interested in a one shot based on the continuation of this chapter, if you get my drift.**

**Only a couple of chapters left! Tonight is the night for updating so go and check out everything else**


	22. Chapter 22

**DONNA **

Through alcohol induced blurred vision and the throbbing pain in my head, i stared as he slept peacefully beside me, no doubt looking like a complete bunny boiler, but i really didn't care. A small smile crept onto my lips as he stirred, his eyes fluttering open, a yawn escaping his lips. "If you stare any harder, your eyes are going to fall out" he muttered, looking at me through squinted eyes. I pulled the comforter towards my neck, snuggling next to him "this is more like it" he mumbled, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

"What's more like it?"

"This" he repeated "Remember the morning after the _other time_?" he asked "you ran off to the bedroom before i woke up, put a fresh face of make up on and crept back into bed" I scoffed, shaking my head, it was true, but i would never openly admit the fact. "But this, this is beautiful"

I rolled my eyes as he pulled me towards him "I would put a lot of money on the assumption that right now i look like a ginger panda, not exactly sexy"

"Hmm" he pondered, gazing dreamily at my face "I'm a big fan of the ginger panda look"

I laughed, tapping him on the nose "the novelty will wear off very quickly"

"I beg to differ. I would quite happily wake up everyday like this." i smiled, nuzzling my head into the pillow to hide my blush as i groaned, the throbbing in my head intensifying.

"Do we really have to go into work today?" i groaned, not wanting to leave the comforts of this bed for at least a day or two.

"As much as i'd love to play hooky with you, we're one personal day away from Jessica finding out about us"

I frowned, knowing he was right "but i ache." i whined, sticking my bottom lip out, pouting.

"Well, i am known for having that affect on women" a smug grin finding its way to his face.

I rolled my eyes "I'm hung over. I have not been debilitated by the legendary Harvey Specter"

"Stop sounding so ungrateful, i gave you the best night of your life."

I raised an eyebrow, half shrugging "I've had better" complete and utter lies, but it was always fun making Harvey sweat. Besides i was not about to openly admit my current state after a sordid night with him to his face, got to have some leverage on him.

Harvey gasped in shock, looking offended "I object"

"On what grounds?" i asked, shaking my head. Harvey Specter, still a lawyer, even when participating in pillow talk.

"On the grounds that i don't fucking believe you!" he exclaimed, flipping me over, my back hitting the mattress as i yelped.

"Well life's a bitch"

He huffed "well as much as i'd like to stay here and listen to you blatantly lie, it's already 6:30 and i like to hit the gym before work"

I frowned "well, you know there's this alternative work out you might be interested in, and coincidentally it also allows you to test your theory and prove me wrong."

He arched an eyebrow, hoovering over me as he smirked, leaning his head towards mine "Hmm, well i guess missing one day wont hurt."

* * *

Two hours, and a work out later, the two of us ran across the street towards Pearson Specter, deciding to arrive to work together, too late and too hungover to even attempt to figure out the logistics of making out way into the firm separately. I shivered, wishing that i hadn't left my jacket at the bar last night, yet ultimately thankful i still had a few items of clothing, including a dress, still knocking around in Harvey's closet. Today was not the day to do the walk of shame. "Do you think anyone will suspect anything?" I asked as the elevator pinged open to the 50th floor, everyone already busily working away.

"Nah, besides Mike. I have taught that kid far too much, he can read me like a book"

"Remind me to avoid him at all costs then" i muttered, too goddamn hungover to have Mike leaning over my desk, eyes lit up, gossiping like a teenage girl.

"Harvey!" our heads whipped around at the sound of the familiar voice, Harvey grimacing, knowing that he was in for an earful. "My office, now."

I pursed my lips together tightly, as he turned back towards me, squeezing my hand briefly in affection "wish me luck" he whispered, his thumb drawing patterns on the back of my hand, hidden between our bodies.

I watched as he walked towards a stern looking Jessica, wishing that i could be a fly on the wall for this conversation.

* * *

**HARVEY**

I followed Jessica into her office wordlessly, taking a seat on her sofa as she towered over me, arms folded across her chest. "Good morning Jessica, dont you look absolutely radiant this morning"

"Flattery is not going to get you anywhere today Harvey. What the hell has gotten into you?" she asked, impatience evident in her voice.

I leant back, crossing one leg over the other as i looked at her with a raised eyebrow "You're going to have to be a little bit more specific with me Jessica, because last time i checked, i just closed a $45million deal in a three hour window."

"Cut the crap Harvey, you know exactly what i'm on about. You have taken more personal days, cancelled more meetings and been late more times in the last couple of months than you have been in the last 7 years at this firm. What's going on?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing that i had been backed into a metaphorical corner. Jessica knows that i don't lie, she knows that i may bend the truth from time to time, for the sake of the firm, but when it came down to it, i never lie. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, looking at her dead in the eyes "Donna and I were pretending to be in a relationship to get my mom off my back and now... well now we're seeing each other."

Jessica's eyes widened, her mouth falling open in shock as she sat down beside me slowly, the pair of us staring out at the New York City skyline "either you've become the worlds last liar, or you're telling me the goddamn truth"

"It's the truth"

She blew out a breath, taking a moment to process the information " I always knew there was something between the two of you, ever since you stormed into my office and threatened to not join the firm unless Donna came with you"

"Really?" i asked, not quite believing how all these people saw something that took me so long to figure out myself.

She laughed, throwing her head back "When you first started at the firm, we all had this sweepstake going on to see how long it would take for the two of you to get together, however no one guessed that it would take nearly 8 years."

I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion "There was a sweepstake?" she nodded as i scoffed out a laugh "funny thing is, that Donna and i did hook up somewhere in the timeframe of you offering me a job and me demanding that i bring her with me"

"What?" she asked in disbelief "Damn, i would have been $50 richer!"

"$50? Really?" i tried to sound offended "you would have thought that a bunch of lawyers with a seven figure pay packet could at least throw a Benjamin Franklin into the ring"

"Don't flatter yourself Harvey. Most of the men hated you because they thought you had taken Donna off the market."

I smiled, my mind involuntarily drifting off to the memories of last night, and this morning "she sure is something."

"So tell me, are you guys serious? Or are you guys just acting like a couple of teenagers skipping class to have a fumble behind the bike sheds?"

"Jessica!" i exclaimed, not really wanting to divulge in the details of our relationship, still not 100% certain as to what was going on myself. "What the hell does this have to do with work?"

"Everything" she shrugged "I need to know if i need to discipline the pair of you for participating in a work place relationship or waive the rule in the name of love."

She had a point. I sighed, rubbing my temples as i plucked up the courage to tell her the truth "listen carefully because this is the only time i'm going to say this, and if you repeat this to a single soul, i will do everything in my power to change the name of the firm to Specter Pearson" i lightly threatened. "Waive the rule for us"

Jessica's face erupted into a massive grin as she understood the hidden meaning behind my words, knowing what i had just admitted. "Consider it done. Just as long as you invite me to your wedding"

"Don't count on being asked to be my best man Jessica. Mike has already shot gunned that position, and also Maid of Honour. He's convinced that it's his only viable option for being part of the ceremony" i joked, openly talking about marriages without running away in fear. Look at me growing up and talking about grown up things.

"You know, this does explain why Mike 'aww's every time he sees the two of you together" she pointed out.

I rolled my eyes "That goddamn kid"

"That goddamn kid is the spitting image of you ten years ago Harvey, take it easy on him, who knows, he may be your boss one day"

"Over my dead body will he!" i exclaimed, knowing that deep down he had the ability to be ten times the lawyer i could ever be.

"Until then, i'm your boss, and it's time you actually earn your pay check. You have Lionel Clark's deposition in 10 minutes in conference room B"

I groaned, dragging my body off of the sofa "but the guy is such a douche"

"I don't care Harvey, just go and win the goddamn case."

I saluted, shooting her one of my famous winks "Yes ma'am."

* * *

**DONNA**

_Two weeks later..._

I starred as Harvey strode down the hallway, dressed in his suit, winter coat and gloves as he gripped onto numerous shopping bags. Keeping his eyes firmly fixated on his destination, he walked straight past me towards his office. I slowly pushed myself off my chair, leaning over my cubicle as i glanced at the bags, my curiosity peaking as I looked at the brands. Trying to hide my grin i tiptoed into his office, desperate to see what he had purchased, knowing that Harvey had impeccable taste.

"Where have you been?" i asked sweetly as i plastered my best innocent smile across my face, trying to get a peak as he placed the bags into an open cupboard. He ignored my question as he shrugged off his coat, removing his gloves "Have you been Christmas shopping?" i pushed, trying to hide my excitement that perhaps in one of those bags could be something for me.

"Have you scheduled that meeting with James Sutton, for next week yet?"

"Harvey" i whined, trying to dodge his body for a look as he placed his hands firmly on my shoulders.

"Donna, cut it out"

I pouted as he picked me up by my waist, manoeuvring me out the way before placing me on the ground "Why wont you tell me what you've brought?"

"Because it's not your place to know!" he exclaimed, smiling at me in disbelief.

"Ah" i pointed at him, realisation hitting me "it's because something in one of those bags is for me, am i right?" i asked wriggling my eyebrows, trying to contain my excitement.

"And even if you are correct, you're still not seeing, just wait and see Donna. Christmas is only a week away"

I huffed as he sat down at his desk, pretending i wasn't in the room, just to aggravate me. I leant over his desk, my cleavage dangerously close to his line of vision. He gulped as his gaze moved somewhat reluctantly to my face "Can i get a clue?"

"No! Now get back to work before i tell your boss."

I rolled my eyes, glancing towards the corridor, making sure it was empty before leaning over and pecking him on the lips quickly. "You say that like it means something" i smiled, turning to walk away " we both know who the real boss here is, and it sure as hell ain't you."

* * *

I sighed as i continued scrolling through endless webpages of next seasons fashion, taking note of the must haves that would soon be in my possession, courtesy of Harvey Specter's bank account. I scrunched my lips to the side as i scanned the length of the corridor, the floor surprisingly quiet for 7pm on a weekday evening. Perhaps something was going on tonight, something that i wasn't invited to?

Nah that's a ludicrous thought. I'm Donna Paulsen, a party isn't a party without me.

I glanced at Harvey through the glass, who was busily working away at a case, the faint sound of jazz music filtering out of his office. He had given me strict instructions to not interrupt him until he was finished, to not let his line ring unless absolutely necessary. I groaned as the phone ringed, wondering who the hell would be calling us right now. "Harvey Specter's office, how can i help?" i asked, putting on my best phone voice.

"Donna!" the voice on the other end of the line exclaimed "I'm so glad it's you who answered." who else would answer, i'm the freaking secretary. I fought the urge to roll my eyes as i maintained my composure.

"Ruth!" i matched her enthusiasm, mentally freaking out that i was speaking to Harvey's mom as he sat, unaware a matter of meters away from me. "How are you!?"

"I'm good honey. I take it my son is still slaving away at work?"

"Yep. Unfortunately Harvey hasn't quite grasped the concept of a normal working day."

She laughed "He should be out wining and dining you instead of getting even more premature grey hairs, working."

I scoffed, completely agreeing "I guess we're not the conventional couple"

"You can say that again" she replied as i furrowed my eyebrows confused. "So" she continued "now that the two of you are a legitimate couple, i was wondering if you would like to spend Christmas at ours this year?"

"W-what?" i stuttered my eyes widening.

"Despite what you and Harvey think, i wasn't born yesterday, i know you two were faking it for whatever reason. But what you didn't realise that was that in the midst of your Oscar winning performance, the two of you weren't acting, in fact you had stopped acting."

"W-what?" i asked again, finding it hard process the fact that she had finally caught onto us.

"I've known about you for years Donna. Gordon used to come home from his surprise visits to New York, gushing about how Harvey knew this wonderful woman, this wonderful woman who was absolutely perfect for him. Every time he came back home from visiting Harvey he would get increasingly more impatient for the two of you to stop being so goddamn oblivious."

I pursed my lips together in a tight light, feeling warm tears pool in my eyes, a dull pain in my chest as i couldn't help but feel emotional over Mr Specter. He was a wonderful man, a stubborn man, like his son, but a wonderful man all the same. "I'm sorry" i muttered, not knowing what else to say, feeling as if i had betrayed the two of them.

"Don't apologise Donna" she assured, hearing the crack on my voice "I'm just glad that the two of you have finally seen sense."

The line fell silent as i tried to piece everything together, my mind going into overdrive "hang on. If you knew that we were faking it, how do you know that we're actually together now?" i asked

"Ah." she went silent. "That would be through a miscommunication on Harvey's part."

"What do you mean..." i said slowly, not quite sure if i was going to like what she was about to say.

"He may have sent me a text that was addressed to someone called Mike" my eyes went wide as i starred at Harvey through the glass, his head slowly moving from the file to meet mine. "I do have to say, i admire your self restraint. My Harvey is a handsome man, i'm surprised you kept your hands off him for this long"

My hand flew to my mouth in horror, Harvey's expression faltering as he raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Oh god" i muttered. Harvey looked between me and the phone, as i shook my head, desperate for him to not pick up the line, but in true Harvey style, he did the complete opposite.

"So in answer to my initial question Donna, will you come along?"

"Mom?" Harvey spoke up as i cringed

"Harvey?" she sounded confused.

"Okay Mrs Specter it was great talking to you, and in answer to your question, i would love too! Okay see ya bye!" i blurted out quickly, disconnecting the call before either one of them had the chance to respond. I watched as Harvey walked towards the door, opening it, face like thunder.

"My office, now." I gulped harshly as i made my way into his office, taking a seat opposite him. "Why were you on the phone to my mom?"

"She called for a chat" i replied nonchalantly

"Donna" he warned, taking a step towards me, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt

"She invited me to Christmas Dinner"

"And why did she ask you that?!" he asked confused.

I gritted my teeth, squinting my eyes "because she knows about us."

"What..."

"She knows that we were faking it, and that now that we're legit."

His eyes widened "How?"

I closed my eyes momentarily, trying to suppress a smile "look at your outbox Harvey, look at the last text you sent your mom."

He grabbed his phone off of his desk in curiosity, wordlessly scrolling through his messages before his mouth fell open in shock "Fuck." he muttered "fuck, fuck, fuck." he looked towards me, looking mortified. "That was supposed to be for Mike."

"Yep" i nodded, slowly "Next time you want to gossip to your boyfriend about us and our sex life, please make sure you pay attention to who you're sending it to!"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, still looking like he was about to vomit "This is not good."

I laughed, clutching my stomach as he looked at me as if i had just lost my mind. "If you think about it, it's hilarious Harvey". My laughter didn't fade as he joined in, throwing himself down on the sofa beside me. "On the scale of one to ten, how graphic was your text Harvey?"

He cringed "bad enough that my mom wont be able to look us in the eye over Christmas dinner"

I face palmed as he slung his arm around my shoulder "Harvey!" i whined "there goes my opportunity of making a good real first time impression!"

"first impressions are overrated" he dismissed, pulling me closer, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Are you lying to make me feel better?" i pulled away, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"No?"

"Well my dad hates you" i shot back immaturely, sticking out my tongue.

"Lies, parents love me." he boosted as i rolled my eyes.

"Whatever." i huffed "Can we go home now please? I want you to make me your famous lasagne"

"Hmm" he arched an eyebrow a playful smile on his face "how about we go back to mine and skip dinner and go straight to dessert?" he proposed, seductively.

I shook my head "Nope, i'm really keen on getting some carbs in my stomach."

"And i'm really keen on getting this dress off" he replied, slipping his fingers under the straps of my dress, pulling at them slightly.

"I'll make you a compromise, we can eat lasagne in bed" i grinned.

"But what if we were in bed and there wasn't any lasagne?"

I looked at him as if he were stupid "then i would kick you out and make you get some lasagne."

"Donna, i'm trying to seduce you here!" he whined, throwing his head back frustrated.

"And i'm telling you, i'm hungry." I tried to sound firm, but the truth was, i was having far too much fun with this. I wasn't going to deprive the man, i just wanted him to cook me dinner first. Is that really too much to ask?

"Fine" he sighed in defeat "Don't get used to this" he warned "I'm the one wearing the pants in this relationship, and that's not going to change"

Oh Harvey, i've been wearing the pants for the last ten years, and you my friend are very much wearing a skirt.

* * *

**I feel like crying, i have spent all fucking day writing this and i kid you not, 10 words before finishing the chapter, my computer corrupts the whole file again and destroys it and all my saved versions. So here i am, up all night rewriting this. I am exhausted, and so annoyed. DAMN TECHNOLOGY!**

**Please show me some love, so i don't throw my laptop out of the window and give all this up altogether, so sick of this happening haha. Sorry, this is what happens when you work 140 hours in 10 days.**

**Apologies for my lack of updates, as i've said above, i've been working my ass off at work as i'm off to NYC in just over 2 weeks. And if i'm honest i'm going through a serious patch of 'writers block/lack of motivation.'**

**So the next chapter is the last, you'll get an epilogue and depending on the reception/feedback you will get some one shots, including a one shot based on what happened between the end of the last chapter and the beginning of this one. But only if you guys want it, you gotta let me know.**

**PPS. EVERYONE PLEASE CHECK OUT/REVIEW MY ONE SHOT 'ALWAYS YOU'- in return i will update Maps!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Harvey**

"Honestly Mike, if you don't finish these goddamn files in the next 10 minutes, I will feed you to a hungry heard of lions." I tapped my fingers impatiently against my desk as my associate blew out a breath, looking flustered.

"Well if you decided to give me a goddamn hand, instead of looking at last minute Christmas shopping for Donna, than this wouldn't be an issue."

Rolling my eyes, I pushed my chair away from my desk, walking over to the younger man as I snatched one of the files from his pile "Firstly" I started "I was playing Hearts. Secondly, I finished Donna's shopping days ago, and lastly, I'm the boss and you're the associate, when your name is above the door, then I'll consider listening to you."

"You know, I would have thought that during the festive period, you would cheer up, especially this year as you have someone to kiss under the mistletoe, but no, you really are an all year round Grinch." he muttered, under his breath as I shook my head.

It was Christmas Eve, and the desperation around the office had well and truly kicked in, with everyone eager to finish and get home to their loved ones before the usual Christmas Eve panic hit the City, and for the first time in god knows how many years, I wanted to be out that door quicker than anyone else. I wordlessly walked to the cupboard in the corner of my office, knowing that there was probably going to be no better time to do this than the present moment, worried that Mike was about to revert to a 10 year old version of himself, and act like a child throwing a tantrum. Grabbing the large envelope I let out a deep breath "Close your eyes" I stated, rolling mine.

"What, why?" he asked confused as his head shot around to look at me.

"Just do it Mike before I fire your ass."

"Fine" he conceded, folding his arms across his chest as he closed his eyes. I placed the envelope in his hands as his eyes opened slowly, looking at the object as if it were alien. "What is this? Is this my letter of termination? A warrant for my arrest?"

"I wish" I shot back jokingly, "just open it, Mike."

After eyeing up the envelope suspiciously he carefully opened it, pulling out the various documents inside. I remained silent, watching him expectantly as his eyes scanned through the pages, his face scrunching up "What..." he looked up at me, waving the paper in the air "I don't understand."

How could he not understand? The kid had a higher IQ than me, and the information was printed right there in black and white, it couldn't be any more obvious. "I've already cleared it with Jessica. In there are two return first class flights to Paris, hotel accommodation, car hire and a little Christmas bonus so you can at least buy your girlfriend something nice when you're over there."

Mike's jaw dropped, his eyes widening in shock as he just starred at the paper in front of him "B-but these say we depart in a week."

I shrugged "Well I know that, I did book them Mike. Donna said that Paris at New Years is amazing, so I thought why not. As I said, it's all cleared with Jessica."

He blinked several times, shaking his head as he tried to process it all "I mean, thanks... this is _incredible_ but why? A Christmas card would have sufficed"

I looked over at Donna's cubicle noticing she was listening to our conversation through the intercom, pretending to be working. I walked over to my phone, turning off the intercom as her head instantly shot up, her bottom lip poking out into a pout. I did not want any witnesses for what I was about to say. "Look kid" I started "Donna told me that I'm too hard on you, so I'm going to be straight with you here." He shifted in his seat, looking at me expectedly "You're a good kid Mike. You're a pain in my ass a 100% of the time, and I often think about throwing you into the East River, but I appreciate everything you've done for me. You're a hard worker, an excellent lawyer and a good friend. And I guess I'm so hard on you because I look at you, and I see myself 10 years ago. Obviously not as good looking as me, but you cant have everything. So this" I pointed at the pile of papers "Is a thank you for your hard work. Just because I like to work myself into the ground, doesn't mean you have to."

Mike expression faltered, his mouth scrunching up to one side "You really think all that?"

"Yes."

Mike jumped off the seat as he wrapped his arms around me. I looked towards Donna who was looking at the two us with a wide smile on her face, her hands indicating that I should hug him back. I rolled my eyes as I patted his back "Alright, alright, that's enough of that." I decided as Mike pulled away, beaming.

"Well I guess I should give you yours..." he reached for his messenger bag

"You got me a present?" I asked confused, no associate, has ever got me a present...ever.

"Of course" he shrugged as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Here" he pulled out a thin, square package, wrapped in some horrific wrapping paper with animated reindeer on.

I eyed the present up suspiciously, unwrapping it as my mouth fell open a little, I was shocked. "How did you..."

"You once told me that you were one Miles David record off from having the whole collection."

I starred at it, not quite knowing how to react. "But this is a limited edition, there's only like 50 of these in circulation." I would know, I've only been searching for it for the last ten years, unsuccessfully.

"I told you, I listen."

"But how did you find it?"

He shrugged, looking slightly guilty "Donna helped me track it down in England and got it shipped over for me." I looked over my shoulder to see her sitting on top of her desk smiling as I mouthed 'thank you' at her.

"Mike this is... this is awesome. Thanks" I gave him a sincere pat on the shoulder as I slipped the record out of its sleeve, placing it on my record player.

"Can I go and tell Rachel about our trip?" he asked excitedly, practically bouncing up and down like a hyperactive puppy.

"Go."

Donna strolled into the office as Mike left, her left eyebrow arched as she folded her arms across her chest. "So, you finally gave the boy a compliment?"

"And here I was thinking that a holiday to Paris would be enough."

She laughed as she placed a hand on my chest, guiding me towards the wall behind me that was obscured from passersby by the bookcase. I sucked in a breath as my back hit the wall, her hands slipping under my suit jacket. "I think you're getting a bit soft in your old age" she mused, leaning flush against me.

"I most certainly am not" I protested "I have a reputation to uphold."

"I have a reputation to uphold" she repeated, mocking me as she stuck her tongue out at me.

I leant down, pressing my lips against hers to shut her up as I glanced at the clock "Go do some work and stop distracting me, I'll see you at 4."

She sighed, pulling away as she pouted "See you then."

* * *

"Ready to go?" I asked as I approached her desk.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, closing the tabs on her Internet window; she was watching cake boss.

"Let's go then m'lady." I extended my hand out towards her as she wrapped happily accepted, smiling as we wordlessly walked down the corridor.

Louis caught sight of us from his office as he saw the two of us approaching, ready to walk to the elevator. He jumped out of his chair, bounding towards us as he called out for her "Donna" we stopped as she smiled, noticing Louis somewhat nervous stature "heading out already?"

I stood quietly by her side, watching the exchange with interest, my head cocked to the side, our hands still interlocked, something he had yet to notice. "Yep" she replied, smiling politely.

He nodded, smiling widely "Heading up to Connecticut then?" I forgot Louis knew everything about Donna.

She shook her head as I just stood with pursed lips, finding the whole situation increasingly amusing with every passing second. "No, we're actually just about to go upstate." Louis eyes narrowed at the world 'we' his eyes flicking between the two of us as he seemed to finally notice my presence besides Donna.

"We?" he echoed "_You?"_ he signalled between Donna and I.

I scoffed out a laugh at his confused expression "Yep." I simply threw in, popping the 'p'. This was too much fun.

"Why?" was all he could ask, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.

Donna looked at me, opening her mouth ready to speak, waiting for a silent confirmation that her next statement would be okay to say. Yet in true Harvey Specter style, if something needed to be said, I wanted to be the first one to say it. I raised our interlocked hands in the air, a smug grin forming across my lips as Louis jaw practically fell to the floor. I wrapped my arm around Donna's waist, pulling her close.

"You two?" he asked incredulously as he shook his head profusely "No, no. I don't believe you." I nodded in confirmation as his expression of shock changed to one utter disbelief as he moved his gaze to Donna "Oh c'mon!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air "Really? _Really?_ This guy?" He sighed "Donna you beautiful goddess, you could do so much better."

Remind me to thank Louis for this Christmas present, because the show he was putting on was fantastic. To the point where if they had to give an Oscar to someone for the best acting in a soul destroying moment, he would get it. Donna smiled, looking at me briefly before giving Louis a half shrug "What can I say Louis, the heart wants what the heart wants"

Louis look as if we had just skinned a cat in front of him as he spun around, flailing his arms in the air, in the middle of what I could only describe as a mental breakdown "Katrina!" he shouted, looking over his shoulder towards the fifth year associate who was sitting in his office "I need a day."

He stormed past us towards the elevator, mumbling some incoherent shit to himself as we exchanged glances at a bemused Katrina. "You know, I swear he does it for dramatic effect" she shrugged, looking back at her file "Oh" she said, looking back up briefly "Congratulations?" she added, sounding unsure "I thought you guys had been together since the beginning of time, but maybe Mike was right when he says I miss things because I spend too much of my time with my head up my ass."

I laughed, my hand flying to my mouth as I mentally congratulated Mike for what could possibly be the funniest thing he would ever say in his slightly above average life. "Merry Christmas Katrina" I replied, taking Donna by the hand once more as we continued to walk down the corridor.

"So, I guess we're not keeping this a secret anymore?" she asked amused as we entered the elevator.

"I guess not." I mused, focusing my gaze on the metal doors in front of us.

"Louis is going to spread the news like wildfire! Don't you think that you should tell Jessica before he does" I glanced over at Donna who looked somewhat worried as I stuck out my bottom lip in thought.

"She knows" I stated simply, waiting for her reaction.

"What do you mean she knows?" she asked, looking alarmed.

"She called me out on my tardiness the other week when we rocked into work 2 hours late. She asked me the right questions Donna, you know I don't lie."

She rolled her eyes as the elevator doors pinged open "Part of me wants to act like I care, but I really don't."

I pouted as I opened the door to Ray's car "What? No verbal assault for telling Jessica? I'm disappointed, I think you're going soft in your old age" I replied smugly, using her own words against her as she narrowed her eyes at me.

She slipped into the back seat with looks that could kill "You take that back, I do not look a day over 25."

"Whatever, babe." I dismissed, shutting the door on her before she could reply as I walked round to the other side, Ray giving me a helpless look from the front seat.

"Ray, will you please tell this pig headed man that I make women in their twenties look like shit."

I rolled my eyes "You don't have to answer her Ray, I know you've got my back." I leant back into the leather chair, smirking.

"Miss Donna is exceptionally beautiful and does look very youthful" he replied as Donna fist pumped the air.

"Yes!" she exclaimed in victory "Thank you Ray, at least someone here speaks sense."

"Ray, remind me to dock your pay."

Ray laughed, pulling away from the curb. "Tis the season to be Jolly Harvey, you're paying me triple.

* * *

**Donna:**

"Harvey I swear to God if you don't get us to your moms soon, I will eat this car seat, or if that doesn't satisfy my appetite, I'll eat you." I groaned in frustration as I looked out of the window, my stomach rumbling. It was nearly 10 in the evening, and we had left the office at 4, but of course, someone (the man beside me) ran me rugged at work before hand meaning that I had yet to consume any form of food today. And Donna without food, is a Donna to be feared.

"Your threats scare me to my core"

His flippant comeback only angered me further, my irrationality heightening "I will shove your lame comebacks up your ass if I don't have a sandwich in my stomach in twenty minutes."

"Well it's a good thing we're here then." He laughed as we pulled into his mom's drive, her house littered with lights.

"Whoa" I muttered in disbelief, captivated by all the twinkling lights "No way, this is amazing"

He shrugged, unbuckling himself "Did I forget to tell you that my mom kind of goes over board at Christmas?"

I jumped out of the rental car, as I bounded towards the door, spinning around to look at Harvey in awe. This was fucking incredible. Imagine a beautifully decorated gingerbread house, illuminate it with twinkling lights, and this would be what you would see. "Please, please can you take a photo!" I exclaimed as he laughed, digging his phone out of his pocket.

"Smile!" I threw my hands in the air, looking like a starfish as I plastered a grin across my face. "There."

He walked up towards me, our bags in one hand, phone in the other "lemme see!" I peered over his shoulder, trying to look at the photo "Oh, I actually look pretty good in that." I said in approval, loving my Christmas jumper and jeans combo against the pretty background.

"You do." he agreed, setting the photo as his lock screen picture.

"Did you just lock screen me?" I asked, gasping slightly "You're lock screen picture has been the default night sky picture since you got it!"

"Ah" he said, tapping my nose with his index finger as we stood on his mom's doorstep "that's what you think. I have 7 words for you: Christmas Party two-thousand and four."

I screwed my face up in disgust, ready to punch him in the arm as the front door swung open, revealing a very excited looking Ruth Specter. "Donna!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms tightly around me, squeezing me to death "Merry Christmas!" I laughed as she swayed me side to side, Harvey's mouth open in an 'o' shape.

"Oh don't worry about me mom, I'm only your son." I laughed as Harvey pouted slightly, pushing past us as he dropped our bags in the hallway.

"You're such a child sometimes" she joked as she let go of me, hugging her son. I couldn't help but let out an 'aww' at the image of the two of them, secretly loving the fact that I get to see the side of Harvey that 99.9% of the world wouldn't even dream was real.

"Don't suppose you've got any food knocking out, Donna has been threatening to kill and BBQ me for the last fifty miles"

"Harvey!" I whined, not wanting to give Ruth a bad impression of me. But... food!

"Of course dear, come on through, I have a whole fridge full of food"

"Ruth Specter, I love you!"

* * *

**Harvey:**

I fidgeted as I starred at the alarm clock resting on the nightstand, as Donna flicked through the latest issue of Vogue, completely unaware of my current state of 'freaking the fuck out'.

_23:59..._

_00:00..._

I jumped off of the bed, racing towards my bag as Donna put down the magazine, staring at me as if I had just grown a second head. "Harvey?" I ignored her, rummaging through the bag as I pulled out two rectangular boxes wrapped in gold paper. I turned around slowly, smiling nervously as I approached her.

"Merry Christmas!" I exclaimed, shuffling myself onto the bed, sitting cross-legged in front of her. Her gaze flickered from the boxes in my hand to my face, her face lighting up in excitement as she clutched her chest.

"Presents?"

I raised an eyebrow "Well, duh. Here I want you to open this one first" I handed her the smaller box as she gently fingered the paper, carefully unwrapping the corners, savoring every moment as my stomach flipped uneasily. She pulled out the long aqua box, her jaw dropping as she looked at me in horror.

"Harvey!"

"Just open the goddamn box"

She opened the box carefully as a gasp escaped her lips, her hand flying to her mouth in shock as she starred at what was inside. She placed the box down on the mattress, carefully picking up the delicate item, her expression still shell-shocked. "Well?" I prompted, desperate for a response.

"Harvey, this is...oh my god, this is beautiful."

I smiled, feeling proud as she admired the diamond and emerald bracelet, set in platinum, a one of a kind piece from Tiffany's that I had spent hours upon hours choosing.

"This is... Harvey" she shook her head, unable to formulate coherent responses "this is too much, this must have cost a years worth of rent for the average person."

I rolled my eyes "Donna, will you not think about the money and just enjoy your present. You deserve it."

She pursed her lips, unable to hide her smile as she placed the bracelet back in the box, carefully putting it on the nightstand. She pounced towards me, throwing her arms around my neck as I fell against the mattress "Thank you" she kissed my lips "thank you" she kissed my cheek "thank you" and finally my nose.

"There's still one more present" I muttered in between kisses, amused at how giddy she was. She stopped, pulling away as she looked at me seriously.

"Harvey, no, that was enough. What ever is in there, take it back."

I gulped "Yeah, cant do that, it's non-refundable." I slid the other box towards her, my stomach erupting with pure fear, this was the gift I was most terrified about giving, and with good reason.

She sighed "You're a bad man Harvey Specter"

I ran my tongue over my lips, as I tried to control my breathing, each breath coming out more and more shallow, pushing me ever closer to the inevitable panic attack I was about to experience. "Hurry up!" I blurted out, cursing myself for sounding like a maniac.

"Okay... weirdo" she mumbled quietly, tearing the paper off the box. Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the black box opening it as a laugh escaped her lips. "Really Specter?"

My expression fell, this was not the reaction I was expecting. "Will you look at it properly" I pushed, getting impatient.

"Oh my god." she muttered, barely audibly as she gulped harshly, looking up at me with teary eyes. Oh god, I've done the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how and I thought it would be a cute sentiment, I'm sorry. You can run if you want, I won't blame you" I said hurriedly, the words shooting out my mouth like verbal diarrhea.

She picked up the solid silver can opener, her finger lightly grazing over the engraving, her eyes fixated on the letter. "Y-you, you love me?" she stuttered, biting her lip.

Well that's what the can opener says. I nodded slowly "I do."

After brain storming with Mike for hours and hours, the idea finally hit me. For someone that gets paid millions and millions of dollars a year for using their words, I find it incredibly hard to verbalize my emotions, and telling Donna that I loved her, would be no exception. After all, how the hell do you tell someone that has been in your life for over twelve years, that you've finally realized that you're madly in love with them? It's not really a topic of conversation that comes up that often, and what sort of conversational icebreaker do you use before then?

So I choose something that truly represented the unspoken complexities and quirks of our relationship- the can opener, knowing that she wouldn't expect it in a million years.

"You love me?" she repeated, still not believing me.

"Donna" I grabbed her wrist slowly, trying to get her attention "I love you. I am in love with you."

She covered her face with her hands as she fell back against the mattress, letting out a squeal "Finally!"

"What?" I asked, confused.

She peaked through her fingers "I've only been waiting twelve years to hear that"

"Donna, I pictured the 198 reactions you could have possibly given me, and this is not one of them." I replied pretending to sound unimpressed.

She sat up, throwing the can opener on the pillow as she grabbed the collar of my t-shirt pulling me on top of her "Will you stop your whining." she muttered against my lips "it's not attractive"

I pulled away slightly, giving her a pointed look "how the fuck do you expect me to react when I tell you I love you and you cover your face with your hands!?"

"Technically, the can opener told me."

"Donna!" I exclaimed "Will you put me out of my goddamn misery"

Her expression went completely blank before a smile slowly crept onto her face, her gaze boring into mine "I love you."

I grinned as I covered her face with my hands "Finally"

She grabbed my wrists, pulling my hands to the sides of her face as if she were playing 'peek a boo'

"So... can I have my present now please?" I asked, batting my eyelids

"Nope, you can wait."

"Donna!" I whined, "That's so unfair."

"Oh god" she rolled her eyes "I'm in love with a child."

I scoffed, towering over "I'm all man, there is nothing child like about me."

"Hmm, sounds like you're over compensating to me. You're gonna have to prove it"

"That sounds like a challenge?" I liked challenges, I never lose. She raised an eyebrow as her response. "Challenge accepted."

* * *

**Donna:**

"Harvey stop it" I whined, fidgeting on the floor as his fingers poked my sides "Harvey!" I squealed "Stop it, I'm so full I may explode. Just let me fall into a food coma, please"

He laughed as he let me go, my body going limp on the carpet, my stomach aching from the sheer amount of home cooked food that I had consumed at Christmas Dinner. He gently grabbed my shoulders, pulling me up into a sitting position as I leant against him, my head falling on his chest as he absentmindedly played with my hair.

"You two are so cute!" My face flushed red as his mother walked into the living room, camera in hand, clicking away happily.

"Mom" Harvey exclaimed, hiding his face as I buried mine into his sweatshirt "Mom, you're so embarrassing."

"What?" she asked innocently "I just want to have photographic evidence to show my future grandchildren of their parents first Christmas together."

"Mom, 12 Christmases have passed in the time that Donna and I have known one another."

"Harvey, stop being facetious, you know what I mean. So just smile for the camera."

I laughed as Harvey fell quiet, his mother still able to put him in his place as we smiled politely in the direction of the camera.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed, looking at the photo she had just taken. "You are such a handsome couple, just you wait until I send the neighbors a picture of this, they are going to be so envious that their family isn't as good looking as mine."

Harvey shook his head embarrassed as I snuggled closer to him "Your mom is only pointing out a simple fact Harvey, we are hot."

"Uncle Harvey, Uncle Harvey, Uncle Harvey!" Our moment was ruined as two small children bounded into the room, followed by Harvey's brother and his wife. I crawled out of his grasp as his niece jumped into his arms, knocking the wind out of him. "Uncle Harvey, can you play dolls house with me, pweaseeee?"

I sat on the sofa, watching his expression melt as he let the toddler drag him across the floor towards the newly opened dolls house, excitedly handing him a red haired doll "Uncle Harvey you can pretend its Donna!"

He looked at me as he held the doll, raising his eyebrow "She's not as pretty as Donna though is she?" he asked the little girl as she shook her head.

"No she's very, very pretty. Like a princess!"

As I starred at the man sitting on the floor in the corner of the room, playing happily with his three year old niece my heart swelled, a lump forming in my throat as I simply couldn't hide the smile that had found its way onto my lips. After twelve years of ups and downs, I would have never imagined myself in this moment right now in with love for a man that finally felt the same (took him bloody long enough). Many would say I had the patience of a saint (and I would agree), or that I was just as scared as he was, but I would always knew my acting would take me far in life, even if it weren't in the most conventional of ways. Take me back three months and I would still call Harvey bat shit crazy as he suggested I faked it with him to impress his mother, but truth was, were we ever not faking it?

For years we hid how we felt and acted as if nothing was wrong, it was only when we started 'pretending' that we realized this was how things were supposed to be. Well, minus the parts where Harvey Specter was just a complete and utter asshole.

Let's be real here, I'm never going to wake up next to the perfect man who is in touch with his emotions and will sit and hold my hand as I cry along to Ps. I love you. And I'm pretty sure he's never going to stop pushing me to the limits of my patience and sanity, but I can say without a doubt that Harvey's the one for me.

Will I miss the lonely nights where I would wake up in a cold sweat after having an explicit dream about my boss? Will I miss dating a string of good for nothing losers who don't know what a good thing is if it hit them in a face? Will I miss the daily emotional torture I'd put myself through where I would cry into a margarita at 10am?

No.

So... I guess I've only got one thing left to say; screw boundaries.

* * *

**Well guy's that's it. It's been a journey! Here's what you should do next...**

**1)read and review, as it's the final chapter, it would be awesome if you all could give me a final thought/if you want one shots! Oh and favorite ( if you liked it)**

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**Thank you so, so much for reading, reviewing, everything. You have all been amazing. As I post this, this story had over 40,000 reads and nearly 500 reviews. I cannot express how much I appreciate it. Your reviews/favourites have been motivation for me to not only write this but my other things and I hope you stick by my side for future fics.**

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